House Hunting With a Cartoon Villain: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of October 27

This week was the week that General Hospital's ickiest character jumped the proverbial shark into cartoon villainry, complete with a cane for Congressman Cain. All he needs is a mustache to twirl, and the transformation will be complete. All for the love of a house that the father he never knew gave to a woman who was never his mother.

Eviction notice!

Tracy could barely believe what Ronnie was doing | Image: ABC

Thanks to Drew (and Marty), the Quartermaines feared they would have to pack up and move (although Tracy practically took everything with her to Lulu's house in enough boxes to fill Lulu's entire living room). In fact, Drew was so ostentatious and giddy about his new purchase that we expected him to start maniacally laughing when he hobbled into the Q living room to brag and marvel at the fact that he was kicked out of the castle, and now he was going to own the whole thing.

Drew didn't even know his purchase would be illegal, as Ronnie didn't really own the house because the will Alexis read had been altered. We know Ronnie is going to crack before she signs on the dotted line, but watching the Qs thinking they lost their beloved house thanks to Ronnie and Drew was heartbreaking, as was Tracy's breakdown in Lulu's living room after a drunken night at the Brown Dog.

Of course, the moment Jason knocked that cane out from under Drew Cain was without a doubt the best moment of this week, along with Tracy's hysterical laughter as a reaction. The cane needs to be a permanent part of Drew's existence as it adds to the costume villain aura.

Another word about Drew

Drew takes glee in causing people pain | Image: ABC

As if throwing old ladies in jail and using little girls as leverage aren't enough, Drew now takes to threatening and bullying teenagers just because. Watching Laura take him to task and watching the look on Ronnie's face was glorious, as this was Ronnie BEFORE Marty coerced her into selling the house to Drew.

There really isn't too much lower this guy can go and we don't know why General Hospital is choosing to write him this way. There is no humanity to the character at all, when at one time he was everyone's hero and beloved around town. Why take a character down a path like this for no apparent reason and then just keep making him worse with each passing day?

There's no doubt that Drew and Willow belong together because they are both completely awful people who didn't earn their Gruesome Twosome nickname for nothing. Both of them are just so ewww, but at least Willow is nicer to people than Drew is. Drew chooses to be mean to everyone just because. We'd ask if he has something better to do, like go to his job in DC. Except that the House of Representatives no longer actually works, so Drew is on an extended vacation.

Just say no to Dark Marty

Marty's demeanor took quite a turn | Image: ABC

We really don't like that quirky schemer Marty turned to the dark side when he menacingly got in Ronnie's face and terrorized the poor woman, threatening to send an old lady to jail just like his congressional client.

That's not the Marty we know and love. We liked it when he would bicker with Tracy in nail salons. We don't like the mean and vengeful Marty, who takes advantage of a woman's death to play a dirty trick on an entire family just because he has a beef with one member. We can't wait for the tongue-lashing he gets from Laura over this one. He just might get evicted and have to live with Drew in Drew's Dawn of Day house.

Nina never learns

Nina is desperate to save her dumb daughter | Image: ABC

Why did we think Nina would actually listen to Ava when her BFF told her to leave well enough alone and let Alexis take care of Willow's defense? After all, Nina got herself in a boatload of trouble when she decided to provide Willow with a fake alibi.

But nope. First, Willow tried to pay off Jacinda to recant her statement about Michael being with her at the time of Drew's shooting. That didn't work out well because Jacinda went right to Michael and handed him the check. Then, Nina decided friendship means nothing, as she backed that big ol' bus right over pregnant Portia. Good going, Nina. We still love you, but cool it. Your daughter is SO not worth it.

Blabbermouth Jordan

Jordan said a little too much | Image: ABC

Poor Portia is getting it from both ends this week. Not only did Nina throw her under the bus and make her a suspect in Drew's shooting, but Jordan told Curtis that Portia was pregnant — without Portia even confirming it. She saw what could have been pregnancy symptoms and knew she had to tell Curtis all about them.

Even if Portia had confirmed her pregnancy to Jordan, it was so not Jordan's place to tell Curtis another woman's business about her body. We could tell that even Laura was a bit taken aback knowing Jordan did this, but we appreciated her reminding Curtis that it was Portia's choice whether to terminate the pregnancy or not, because in New York, women still have that option.

But we have a prediction now. Drew will learn about the paternity problems, bring Brad back to Port Charles and set him up with his old GH job. Then, Brad will change the paternity test to make it look as if Isaiah is the father, because this would be typical Drew revenge against his former BFF.

Those meddling kids

These five meddling kids are going to be in a whole lotta trouble | Image: ABC

Are we about to get a Scooby-Doo like adventure, complete with mad scientists in a lab, in this case, the scientists being Professor Dalton and Britt? And those meddling kids? Why, Gio, Emma, Danny, Rocco, and Charlotte, of course. We are not sure what to make of Britt agreeing to work for Sidwell out of nowhere, when she was in scrubs getting puked on the day before. We feel like some scenes had to have been cut.

We can already see how this will likely play out. When the kids try to break into Dalton's lab, they will find Britt. Somehow, Rocco will find himself in danger and Britt will rescue him. Meanwhile, Danny will get caught, with Drew now feeling vindicated because his nephew and former stepson/son is a little hoodlum after all (in Drew's mind). Charlotte will end up in more trouble than the others because her father is Valentin, and he seems to know all about whatever Dalton and Britt are working on. And Emma and Gio will be taken to task for being the adults in the room.