What led Billy Joel to attempt su*cide? The story behind his emotional turmoil

Billy Joel grew up wanting to be a musician, and by age 20, he joined a band called Attila with his friend Jon Small. When Joel began a romantic relationship with Small’s wife, Elizabeth Weber, everything changed. The affair ended both Joel’s friendship and the band, leaving him feeling isolated and burdened with guilt.

Elizabeth eventually left both men, and Billy Joel was forced to sleep in laundromats for a time. He later described feeling that life had no meaning and that he had no place to go.

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First su*cide attempt and resulting coma

In his despair, Billy Joel tried to end his life by taking a large number of sleeping pills. He fell into a coma and spent days in a hospital’s intensive care unit. Medical staff had to monitor his condition closely, and he woke up to learn that his stomach had been pumped.

Waking from that coma did not lift his sadness; instead, he felt frustrated that he “couldn’t even do this right.” This first attempt marked the start of serious concerns about his mental health.

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Second su*cide attempt and rescue of Billy Joel

A few days after recovering from the overdose, Billy Joel felt just as hopeless and decided to try again. This time, he drank furniture polish because he thought it might taste “better than bleach.” Instead of ending his life, he became very sick, and panic set in.

Despite their broken friendship, Jon Small found Joel and rushed him to the hospital. Small’s intervention saved Joel’s life a second time and showed that help can come even from strained relationships.

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Stay in the psychiatric observation ward

After the second attempt, Billy Joel's family arranged for him to stay in a psychiatric observation ward for three weeks. While there, he met other patients with more severe struggles, which helped him gain a new perspective on his situation.

Billy Joel realized that many of his problems had been caused by his choices and self-pity. He decided that he needed to find a reason to keep living and to change his outlook. This period was a turning point that began his journey toward healing.

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Influence on early songwriting

During this dark time, Billy Joel wrote the song “Tomorrow Is Today,” which appeared on his debut album Cold Spring Harbor (1971). He has said the lyrics felt like a “su*cide note” when he wrote them.

The song reflects the sadness and confusion he felt at age 21. Over time, Joel used music as an outlet to express pain and to find hope. His early struggles helped him craft songs that connected with listeners facing their challenges.

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Marriage to Elizabeth and ongoing recovery

In 1973, Billy Joel married Elizabeth Weber, who became his manager. Their marriage lasted until 1982, but the union offered Joel stability after those darkest years. Over the next decade, he continued to share his experiences through music.

In 1985, he released “You’re Only Human (Second Wind),” a song to support young people facing depression. The proceeds from that single went to teen su*cide prevention programs, showing Joel’s desire to help others avoid the pain he knew too well.

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New documentary and reflection in 2025

On June 5, 2025, the HBO documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. Directed by Susan Lacy and Jessica Levin, the film covers Joel’s entire career but highlights those early attempts to take his life.

At age 76, he shared candid details about his depression and how music and support from friends saved him. Viewers see how he turned that pain into creativity and resilience. The documentary is set to air on HBO in July 2025, offering a deeper look at Joel’s journey.

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Lasting impact and importance of mental health awareness

Billy Joel’s story reminds us that emotional pain can affect anyone, regardless of talent or fame. His choices in the early 1970s show how quickly situations can spiral when support is not received in time. By surviving two su*cide attempts and seeking help, Joel found a path toward recovery and a way to share his lessons through music.

Today, he continues to speak about depression, encouraging others to seek help and to know they are not alone. His journey highlights the importance of mental health awareness and the possibility of healing even after a severe crisis.

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