Speak now, or forever hold your lies!

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Steffy and Finn were too sexy for a water birth, but what "haze" were they in when they named the baby? Here are two scoops on why it's no honor to bear the name Hayes. Plus, Quinn threatened Paris with an upset stomach, but Quinn will be the one with the heartburn now that Carter confessed their adulterous secret in the middle of her vows ceremony.

Welcome back, Scoopers! It's time to delve into all things bold, beautiful, and just plain pitiful from the week. The ringmaster, Brooke, boldly guided Quinn's circus of a vows renewal to its oh-so-satisfying climax. Carter entered the center ring to take his Scarlett A like a man, but so far, the cowardly lion Quinn isn't woman enough to admit her scandal. To this Scooper, it was just plain pitiful how Quinn left her lover hanging alone in the wind of consequences.

If you thought that climax was a doozy, grab a drink and a cigarette. You might need them by the end of Finn and Steffy's crazy-sexy-beautiful water-birth scene. It came with sensual music, candles, wet bodies, and a quarterbacking doula who checks dilations from the rear. This threesome was a lot sexier than when Caroline and Ridge helped Douglas into the world.

Speaking of Douglas, it's nice that some kids on the show bear the maiden names of their grandmas, but did anyone tell Steffy that Hayes isn't her mother's maiden name? After learning the name she and Finn gave their son, I question whether Steffy even knows Taylor was married and divorced before marrying Ridge. I'm also guessing no one consulted Taylor before adding the name shared by her abusive ex-husband/stalker to the baby names list.

Justin is sipping scotch and closing deals while Thomas rots in a soundproof utility room at Spencer. Ridge noticed that Thomas missed a meeting, but a full 24 hours later, people have yet to wonder why Thomas isn't anywhere to be found. Hope must have noticed that no one swept, mopped, or took Douglas to practice by now, right? Especially since Donna is off kid duty and has pinned herself onto the Forrester-matriarch-in-waiting list.

Jennifer Gareis (Donna Logan) is off contract, but now that Quinn just got exposed, Donna portraits are dancing in my head. Let's get two scoops deep into Quinn's folly, which might become Donna's fortune. We'll talk about why baby Hayes might get a complex if kids at school figure out his name derived from his grandma's abuser and stalker and pontificate how a water birth almost seemed like a "Sinn" this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

I'm too sexy for my pool. Too sexy for my doula -- the way I'm dilating!

Steffy's a mama; you know what I mean. And she did her little turn in the baby pool. Yeah, she shook her little tush in the baby pool! No, really. She did. Just like Caroline Junior. Who did the birthing tango better, though? Finn and Steffy, or Caroline and Ridge? That's for you to decide.

B&B filmed another water birth for a child with Douglas' 2016 debut, and I was surprised at the number of similarities between the two scenes. First, the mothers each wore black and white stripes. Caroline's were horizontal, and Steffy's were vertical. Second, the same redheaded doula as Caroline employed checked Steffy's dilation in all the eye-bulging places. Joanna is her name, played by Christina Carlisi. Third, both scenes included slow dancing, kissing, and embracing as beautiful sons were born into the world. For being so similar, why did one birth seem like a family event, but the other seemed suited for adult audiences only?

Since the pandemic hit, we've had a hard time gauging what kind of passion and chemistry Steffy and Finn might bring to the screen. Well, now we know. The couple can make even childbirth into an orgasmic event. Maybe Caroline's water birth seemed more tame because it was Caroline's first baby, and Linsey Godfrey went with giving the audience the first-time mother experience of it while Jacqueline MacInnes Wood leaned into the intimacy of it.

Other notable differences are that Ridge spent most of the time out of the pool while Finn was mostly in it, and Ridge kept his shirt on. Finn took his shirt off. I'm not complaining, but where's that cigarette and chocolate martini I ordered? It's still a little hot in here.

What! My name is what? Slim Hazey?

Another similarity between Carridge's water birth and Sinn's lies in the naming of the boys born of the events. The show has a tradition of giving newborn girls their grandmothers' first names and using the grandmothers' surnames as newborn boys' first names. For example, Douglas and Logan's first names are Stephanie and Beth's maiden names, respectively. So, when Finn and Steffy named their baby Hayes, I was like, "Aww...How cute. Named after Taylor."

Except that's not Taylor's maiden name. Therefore, he's not named for Taylor at all.

Taylor's maiden name is Hamilton. Her mother's maiden name is Ashford, which, by the way, would be a fine name for a son. Finn and Steffy could call him Ash for short. Maybe the writers named the boy Hayes because they are in their own haze about Taylor's past. Taylor does have a confusing history, I'll grant them that; however, I have to question if there is a continuity problem here or if the writers purposely named Steffy's firstborn son the surname of Taylor's abusive, stalker first ex-husband -- who has absolutely no ties to Ridge's children, by the way.

You can read all about Blake Hayes, his crimes, etc., in our Who's Who in Los Angeles character archives. Blake has an impressive rap sheet, from stalking Taylor to beating Ridge, to kidnapping Karen. As far as I know, Taylor does not have any children with or ties to this man, so why in God's name would Steffy name her child this man's surname?

I just thought of an even more pressing question than that. Why did Taylor keep reverting back to the surname Hayes instead of Hamilton, her true maiden name? Some suspect it's because that's the name her practice was made famous under, but there are episode transcripts that indicated Taylor went by Dr. Marone. Therefore, she's been known by other names in her profession, so why, after every divorce, does Taylor return to this abuser's surname?

More interestingly, at least to me, is that Taylor debuted on the show as Taylor Ashford. The next thing we knew, she was Hayes, Blake's ex-wife. Could Taylor have a twin? Could they have swapped lives or personalities at some point, causing the screwups with Taylor's history?

I, for one, would love it if Taylor had a twin. Maybe the real Taylor is dead, and the twin is the one living Taylor's life. Remember Sonny/Solita from Guiding Light? I will never forget it, and it's been long enough that B&B could make it happen on their show. Come on, writers. I dare you, and you can start with it having something to do with this stalker, kidnapper Blake Hayes.

Let us know what you think. Were you confused when they named the baby after his grandmother's abusive stalker, or did you forget that it's not really Taylor's maiden name? Does it really matter? It might if all the family kids get together and start talking about who they are named after. Or it might if Blake Hayes shows up someday. Maybe Blake is a part of Finn's past we don't know about. Maybe that's the reason the baby is named Hayes? Stay tuned.

If you've got something to say, why don't you say it?

The above lyric comes from George Michael's song, Something to Save. I chose it because it contains the words that came to my mind when Brooke asked Carter if he had something to say for himself. The words contrast Quinn, who won't say the truth even to save herself.

If Quinn has something to save, I'm sure it's her own behind. She thought recommitting herself to Eric would wipe the slate clean, but I can think of nothing dirtier than to let Eric stand up there and be led to recommit himself to his cheating wife by her lover. That was sickening, and I'm delighted Brooke refused to let Eric bear a humiliating memory like that for the rest of his life.

As Quinn and Carter's fates hang in the balance, I commend the writers for creating a comeuppance for Quinn worthy of soapdom. They didn't get the baby's name right, but they made up for it with Quinn and Carter's shame scenes. The "disaster at a wedding" trope was an oldy but always a goody, and we haven't had an outing like this since Thomas' wedding.

There was an opportunity for a public flogging during Ridge and Shauna's wedding story arc, but it didn't happen, probably due to the pandemic. Speaking of Shauna, I am loving her more and more with every scene. Thank you, God, for gifting Denise Richards the many facial expressions of a true diva! Yes, yes! She glares exactly how I feel! I don't know what I anticipate more, seeing the way Shauna rolls her eyes and stares at everybody or hearing the next line.

Shauna's facial expressions said more at that renewal ceremony than Quinn had to say once her secret was on the precipice of coming out. I expected more feistiness from Quinn, but she's been suffering from multiple personalities in this storyline. One minute, she's on her knees before Paris, the next minute, she's threatening to diarrhea Paris to death. I guess I expected Quinn to have more to say to Brooke than, "Get out, and respect my matriarchy!"

What little Quinn did have to say was malarkey. As Brooke launched into her stoning of Quinn, Quinn told Eric that she'd expected his family to be supportive and celebrate the couple because the family had boycotted the wedding. What family of Eric's was Quinn talking about? Thorne, Felica, Steffy, and most of the other Forresters who boycotted the wedding didn't bother to show up for the renewal sham, either. Ridge and Brooke were the only attending Forresters, and they were not there to celebrate. No, Quinn. It's safe to say that you're still being boycotted by most of the Forrester clan, who you probably didn't even bother to invite. Steffy didn't seem to know about the event until Ridge mentioned it, and she'd rather do sexy labor than watch Quinn recommit to her grandfather.

Quinn said that and a little more as she tried to drown out Brooke's words and proceed with the farce of a ceremony. Quinn finally was at a loss for words when Carter prompted her to tell Eric the truth. Carter had gone out on a limb in confessing to Eric and probably thought his partner in betrayal would support him.

"Quinn, tell him," Carter said with a dire expression. What was Quinn's response? Crickets.

Those were the loneliest few moments for Carter that I've seen since Maya left him. Carter should have known that telling the truth would be a one-man show, and Quinn would not have his back. She left him hanging out there like an Arthur Fleck joke. I hope Carter sees that he's the joker who fell for Quinn's dog-in-heat sob story and that Quinn won't be there for him as he loses his job and the family he thought of as his own.

I don't know what Quinn will say in the next episode. Maybe she'll shock me and own her adultery. She certainly surprised me when she had the nasty nerve to threaten Paris with more literal diarrhea if Paris told the secret. I hope Quinn will be the one grasping for the Pepto once Eric is done with her.

Some think Carter will take Quinn in, and it will be the beginning of the Quarter love story. Meh, I doubt it. This public flogging is like cold water in Carter's face, and hopefully, he'll see what bad judgment he used in taking up with someone who would play "chicken" with their lives, families, careers, and futures to save herself. If he doesn't, I give the relationship less time than Quinn and Deacon's because Carter is not as dumb as Deacon, who almost let loving Quinn get him killed.

What's funny to me is that Quinn is still prolonging the inevitable by not owning up to the affair, even after Carter confessed. Maybe Quinn thinks Shauna will save her again by telling everyone that Carter slept with Shauna in a Quinn mask. No, Quinn. Shauna's over there rolling her eyes with the rest of them. She can't save your hide this time, and don't even think about asking for the jacket back, either.

The best part of the vows renewal scenes for me was Brooke. Brooke would not be swayed, and Ridge couldn't uproot her, no matter how many times he tugged her. She gave Quinn a chance to tell it her way, something Quinn never afforded Brooke when it came to that videotaped kiss. Vengeance was all the sweeter because Brooke didn't have to say the words that hurt Eric. She just called upon Carter's better angels, and he spilled his guts.

Kudos to all the actors in the scene, from the nose-flaring Darin Brooks (Wyatt) to Rena Sofer (Quinn) with her silent, chastised expressions. John McCook (Eric) and Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke) brought the old-school The Bold and the Beautiful feel to the outing in the living room, where a history of outings have taken place, mostly orchestrated by Queenie herself.

The scenes were complimented by Donna reminiscing about her lost love with Eric. Could Donna Logan be the next matriarch to grace the Forrester wall?

Pour some honey on him! In the name of love, pour your honey on him!

When I heard awhile back that Donna would return to Los Angeles, I was overjoyed. I love the character, and I wanted to see if she could fire things up again with Justin or Eric. It was disappointing when the writers relegated Donna to a Mary Poppins role with the kids. Donna hasn't had many lovers, if any, in over a decade, and it's beyond human imagination that the sexiest Logan girl is the most lonely.

In fact, Katie's life is on hold, too. That's partly because Bill is in jail, but even if he wasn't, Katie and Bill's relationship has been stagnant since he proposed a few years back. I look forward to the other Logan sisters finding romance again, starting with Katie finally remarrying Bill, and Eric following the honey trail to Donna's door.

As Donna told Quinn, honey doesn't expire. Donna might be just what Eric needs. She knows what she wants and doesn't stray. She has carried a torch for Eric for many years, unwavering. It's gotta be true love, a love Eric probably isn't even worthy of, really.

In a look ahead: Spoilers and previews

Remember when I said that no one notices that Thomas is missing? Well, next week, Hope must realize the floors are dirty again, and he hasn't swept them. She discusses his absence with Justin, and his reply makes her suspicious, leading her to the discovery of Thomas in a cage. Amazingly, Hope can hear through soundproof walls, but can she save Thomas before Justin hustles her into the cage alongside him?

Paris catches Zoe before her flight out and tells her the truth about Quinn and Carter. I hadn't expected to feel sorry for Zoe, but it's kind of crappy to learn that your fiancÚ left you for hitting on his best friend, but then after sleeping with your friend, your fiancÚ wants to hop back into the engagement. A word of advice to all: stay away from your lover's friends. Just stay away.

Will we get a parting confrontation between Zoe and Quinn? We'll have to wait and see on that, but the previews do indicate that Eric will berate Quinn for her depravity. For the holiday, Eric should snatch her portrait off the wall, set it ablaze, and roast it like a witch in his driveway.

Thanks for scooping with me this week. I hope you are enjoying the climaxes of these storylines as much as I am. Let us know what you think in the comments section below. Happy Fourth of July, and until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!
Chanel

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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