The not-parent trap

For the Week of February 7, 2022
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Grace wouldn't allow a grace period for Paris' budding relationship with Carter, but Steffy took a page right out of Sheila's playbook to get the shoddy goods on Brooke! Be like Taylor and get "wiggy" with it with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you have more in common with the woman you hated than you thought? Did you tell a suitor that he wouldn't always have Paris? Did you kick up a fuss with your hair-raising experience? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Walton-Buckingham clan this week!

Wake me up before you go-go, Scoopers! Because I'm not gonna lie -- I found this week's eps kind of a tough slog. I was more bored than I should be. All the going around in circles and repetitive dialogue...really, all that happened was Grace warned Carter off of Paris and Steffy thought she had evidence to nail Brooke. But even that stuff didn't particularly grab me.

There was a huge hint dropped this week that B&B has something shocking planned for us that will change everything. And given that Krista Allen, whom I am liking more and more, chimed in about it on social media, I am thinking it has something to do with Taylor. What do you guys think this shock talk is about? I am definitely for something show-changing if it livens things up a bit.

Because it's not that B&B can't do shock. When Maya came out as transgender, that was pretty much kept secret 'til the day of. Same with Sheila's 2017 return. Even Reese taking Hope's baby, though we knew about it ahead of time, was rather thrilling to watch. What B&B needs work on, however, is follow-through. Sheila siccing a horny masseur on Quinn was meh, and Phoebeth turned into an eight-month mess.

I'd be shocked to all hell if Taylor got with Bill! Yeah, Taylor shot him, but that's right up this soap's alley. We do need something radical to happen. When a whole week goes by, and the thing about your show that gets the biggest buzz is that an actress stops wearing a wig, you know you've got some work to do! In the meantime, we have five non-shocking episodes to discuss. So, let's Scoop about it!

THAT DARN CARTER!

Poor Grace. We now know what she was brought on for -- to play mama lion for Paris and clear the way for Zende's romance with her. Though I must say, having only otherwise seen Cassandra Creech as As the World Turns' Denise, I have rather been enjoying her turn as a mama lion. Grace ain't havin' it with Carter, and she made no bones about such after catching him kissing Paris.

Ah, those forgotten-about purses glean so much intel. Grace gave Carter such a stink eye that even his vaunted cologne couldn't mask the stench. Zaris (Pende?) was sweet and pure, according to Grace. Ma Buckingham could say that, knowing her daughter has an open relationship? Later, it was apparent that Grace was dead set against that parameter. So, she's expressing conflicting opinions here.

Grace had spoken to Zoe and gotten all the dirt about Carter, who jumped in and corrected his almost-mother-in-law that he and Zoe had been over by the time he was shagging Quinn and that Zoe had been no prize either, the way she had thrown herself at Zende. Both Zoe and Paris have done the exact same thing now -- sought out other men while already involved with one.

Then Grace dropped a bomb I hope doesn't go off. She reported that Zoe was still in love with Carter. And she mentioned it more than once. Please, let's not recast Zoe. I liked Kiara Barnes, but as a character, Zoe was a mess. Speaking of messes, Grace declared Carter one (you go girl!) and threatened to rat him out to the Forresters if he continued seeing Paris. I loved watching Grace put the screws to Carter!

BABES IN LA-LA LAND

Because Katie has nothing better to do, she got Zende to open up about how he and Paris had opened up their relationship. But it did prompt Katie to ask the operative question -- why did Paris pick that moment to change things up? Did Paris have her eye on someone else? Zende moped that he wasn't happy with the non-exclusive deal but soon readily accepted a second date with Sequoya...in front of Grace.

Now, Grace made her displeasure known. And she was Team Zaris because she had done some digging and deemed Zende a wonderful guy, correctly detailing his humble beginnings as an orphan in Africa who found a family with the Forresters. But isn't Grace jumping the gun by putting all her eggs in Zende's basket? If we still don't know why Zende and Nicole got divorced, Grace doesn't know, either.

I mean, Zende could have totally screwed Nicole over. But because the show never bothered to fill in a major blank like that (something they've been doing too much of the last few years), it makes Zende's true character a question mark. Then Grace cryptically told Zende that there was nothing she wouldn't do to see Paris and Zende together. Is Grace a psycho, too? Zoe had those tendencies...and Grace's ex was Reese!

Maybe sensing that Grace might boil his pecs if he didn't ditch Paris, Carter invited the youngest Buckingham sib to his pad for a romantic dinner...as a prelude to dumping her. Was that supposed to soften the blow? Didn't Zende and Nicole also have an I'm-dumping-you dinner? And let's not forget, last year, it was Zende who didn't want the commitment with Paris. I can't keep up with these people.

20,000 RETELLINGS NEXT TO THE SEA

Let's play a drinking game! Every time someone asks Douglas if he's sure he saw Brooke kissing Deacon, let's take a shot of Kool-Aid. Ooh, look how purple my tongue is now. First, we had to have Douglas rehash the whole thing to Thomas. Then, we had to have Thomas relay everything Douglas said to Steffy. Then, we had to have Douglas rehash the whole thing to Steffy. Really, B&B? Really?

And did anybody else laugh out loud when Thomas asked Douglas if he had been afraid to tell Thomas the truth? You mean like when Thomas threatened Douglas into keeping his mouth shut about Beth? I know a lot of people have been hand-wringing about Brooke asking Douglas to keep her secret, which was wrong, but that's false equivalency. Brooke wasn't at all menacing toward Douglas the way his father was.

Brooke didn't have to scare the hell out of the kid with a projected CGI ghost, either. But while we're on the subject of Brooke, I'm also tired of her going over and over and over her kiss with Deacon and asking why she fell off the wagon over New Year's Eve. By the way, is anyone ever going to find out that Sheila put those drunken wheels in motion? How about Brooke finds the telltale champagne bottle and realizes she's been duped?

Sheila's kind of on my nerves these days, too, and she was my favorite character for ages. She's forgotten all about Finn and can only think about Brooke and how she got Brooke drinking again. Interestingly, Brooke got drunk the one single night -- though I'm surprised Brooke hasn't returned to the bottle out of her guilt over keeping Deacon's lip-lock a secret. That's typical in alcoholism, and Brooke is on a slippery slope that isn't being addressed.

Hell, it took Liam to tell Brooke, "sometimes you have to just keep living," and we know he isn't the most sensible shoe on the rack. Brooke acknowledged that Ridge had forgiven her many things, but there was a limit to how much one could forgive. All right, I'll give Brooke that. But Ridge is no angel, either. This is a guy who porked another woman, thinking he'd been given email permission to do so.

Riding in on the high horse he always keeps handy, Ridge went to Deacon and growled that bad things happened to Brooke when Deacon was around. What, Brooke had no responsibility in any of the Breacon brouhaha? Deacon flipped it on Ridge, calling him a bully. You know, Deacon was right! Moss or Kaye, Ridge has always had a bully in him, and Deacon also nailed it when he said he'd dealt with bullies all his life.

After all, his dad, Daryl, used to beat up on Deacon -- and even attacked Deacon as an adult! So, kick-ass continuity there. As it was when Ridge gave Brooke a card with the caption, "I've been waiting for you, darling." That was indeed the first utterance Ridge made to Brooke when they met on June 12, 1987 (see 11:30). See how simple it is to add instant layers by honoring history?

Deacon was tempted to rub his kiss with Brooke in Ridge's arrogant face (hey, between Deacon and Brooke, we only had four flashbacks of this moment instead of six), but Deacon thought better of it and let Ridge blather on. The only thing Ridge was confused by was Deacon's statement that he was also trying to protect Brooke. I think Deacon really has changed. How about that.

STEFFY IN WONDERLAND

I have seen post after post after post on social media this past week, equating Steffy and Thomas to five-year-olds because of their increasing desire to have their parents reunite, despite both being in their thirties. Having watched this latest group of eps, I'd have to say, Steffy needs her blankie and juice box much more than Thomas. Steffy will simply not shut up about mommy and daddy getting together.

Hearing how Douglas had been asked by Brooke to keep quiet about her snog with Deacon, Steffy snorted, "That's what the Logans do." Again, her beef with "the Logans" is misdirected; Ridge is married to Brooke, and Hope lives on the property, but Donna and Katie aren't anywhere near Steffy these days. In 2010, when the Logan sisters all had positions at Forrester, I got it. But Steffy has regressed to long before that.

And if I were Finn, I'd be plenty worried, because Steffy stared at a picture of Brooke and snarled, "You destroyed everything." First off, that's not even true; if anything, Sheila destroyed everything by causing Taylor's presumed death. So, how fitting is it that right now, Steffy is acting exactly like Sheila? And if you don't believe me, I present that Steffy even stole Sheila's idea.

In 2017, Sheila correctly suspected Ridge of fooling around with Quinn. So, what did Sheila do? She trapped Quidge in an elevator and had Charlie pinpoint security footage that would catch them in the act. And here, in 2022, what did Steffy do? She had Charlie pinpoint security footage that would catch Brooke and Deacon in the act! Steffy has way more in common with Sheila than she'd want to admit to.

Let's not forget, Steffy also whipped out a gun once and shot Sheila! You know, if Sheila really wanted to ingratiate herself to Steffy to gain access to Finn, you'd think she would have offered to help Steffy get dirt on Brooke. If Sheila could have ascertained that Brooke had kissed someone else besides Ridge, Steffy definitely would have given Sheila the free pass she's been wanting. Total missed opportunity.

FANTASIA

For some reason I can't fathom, Ridge left Brooke and Hope alone to talk and used the time to pay a visit to Taylor. And lo and behold, Taylor's much-hated wig was gone! Yes, Taylor sported a short 'do and told Ridge she'd needed a change because her hair had gotten too "wiggy." Love it! I bet that was Krista Allen's idea, too, in response to the uproar Taylor's hair has faced. I'll reiterate -- love it love it love it!

But Taylor knew Brooke hadn't been herself and let Ridge know she would help if she could. "I am here for your wife, too," Taylor assured him. See, now, that's the Taylor I missed. Not the one that sounded the way Steffy does now, with every breath Brooke takes being wrong. "She's damn lucky to have you," Taylor added about Brooke. Man, it's good to have the sensible shrink back. Even if we skipped over her rehabilitation.

Back at the cliff house, Charlie reported that he had been the one to upgrade all the cameras and related security equipment at the Logan manse when Sheila had returned to town. Nice touch. And, because Charlie had been in charge of replacing all the components, he, of course, could get into the security system at Bridge's house. (The password is "lemonbars"? Classic!)

But apparently, we signed into a bit of strange. First, Charlie accidentally got stabbed by a mini-cactus displayed in Steffy's house. Steffy apologized, and Charlie hoped to not find a needle in his finger again, but the mentions were enough to make me think that cactus is going to play into things somehow. Because soaps don't usually have random things happening like that without them serving as foreshadowing.

Then, Charlie found the footage that saw Deacon returning alone after everyone else had left Brooke's New Year's bash, and Steffy exclaimed, "Gotcha, Brooke!" Gotcha how? All that proved was that Deacon went back inside the house, not what happened once he was there. Charlie couldn't even find footage of the kiss, only Douglas witnessing it. Yet when Deacon was shown to leave the next morning, Steffy assumed there had been Breacon sex!

I'd like to see Steffy go into court with that evidence. She called Taylor right over and told her mom, "I would never wish for the end of Dad's marriage." Ha! Wishing for that is probably the only way she's been able to achieve orgasm with the absent Finn! Steffy and Thomas both confidently declared that Brooke had cheated on Ridge! Oh, Steffy, you're so dumb these days. So dumb.

And so, in Fantasy Land, even if Ridge were to divorce Brooke, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to go running back to Taylor! Plus, I just gotta say, another video? We just had Brooke get in trouble in 2020 with a video depicting her kissing Bill. Hell, let's go back to 1992 with the video of Brooke and Ridge having sex on the floor of the Forrester lab! Can we do anything but videos?

Is it just me, Scoopers? Do you find B&B 2022 so far to be underwhelming, or are you enjoying the tale of Brooke's kiss and Carter jetting off to Paris? Is Grace the foil Carter needs? Are you picking up on hints that Grace might end up bedding Carter -- or Zende? Does Steffy need to grow up? And should someone buy Douglas a pony for making him repeat his "Grandma kissing Santa Claus" story so many times? Unleash yourself in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could be in a future column! Like these!

"Can't the writers come up with, this is shocking, I know, a NEW story line. How about Brooke's son with Nick [Marone] shows up, or RJ returns, or ANYTHING other than Deacon (who was mad for Amber Moore over in the Y&R universe) and Ridge hissing and spitting like Mean Girls. BTW, where is DJ, as in Deacon Junior, who was Eric III at one time, can we put him in the mix, have Brooke breathe all over a much younger man?" -- Rhonda

"Where is Eric, Quinn, Pam, Charlie, Katie, Bill, & Wyatt?!? I could care less about Shauna and Flo. But I wouldn't mind a Steffy and Flo battle (maybe over Finn) & the $50,000 payoff...is revealed. Wouldn't it be interesting too for a Taylor and Bill hook-up, especially since she shot him LOL Have Douglas really be Ridge's instead of Thomas. Let Hope and Liam have a pregnancy to bask in for once. The Brooke vs. Taylor , Hope vs. Steffy feuds is sooooooo sooooooo done. Please writers no more." -- Mooyani

"You made a good point, Mike, that Ridge left Brooke to be with Shauna after discovering that Brooke kissed Bill, so he may leave Brooke to be with Taylor after discovering the Breacon kiss. The more important question is this...WHO CARES? We viewers need fresh dialogue, intrigue, fashion, mystery, excitement...what we are getting is stale rehashing/rewriting history and boring, tired story lines. If Ridge leaves Brooke for Taylor, he won't stay...he never does. Why Taylor would subject herself to that kind of idiocy once again is beyond me. These characters are too old for this foolishness! If TPTB are going to separate Bridge for the gazillionth time, can they please hurry it up and move on to something more interesting?" -- "thomascd"

I am keeping my fingers crossed that this reported shock twist is the real deal, because otherwise, the show may have to be sponsored by No-Doz. Nevertheless, let's keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And for soap's sake, get vaccinated! Because protecting yourselves and others from a virus and its variants is always beautiful.
AMJ

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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