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 Two Scoops: March 5, 2007 columns
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Jack Wagner
Farewell, Shady Marlin!
For the Week of March 5, 2007
Given the tragic demise of everyone's favorite smelly home away from home for Nick Marone, let's take a look back at some of the best moments that the Marlin had.
After a tanker hits a little pleasure boat like the Marlin, you would think the result would be much more catastrophic than what we saw on Friday. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Nick and Taylor are alright but after watching other famous boats meet their end onscreen (think 'Titanic' and Poseidon'), I had to chuckle a little thinking that they both came out of the water without a scratch! But hey, it's the soaps and nothing is EVER as bad as it could be!

Given the tragic demise of everyone's favorite smelly home away from home for Nick Marone, I thought it appropriate to go over a little retrospective of the best moments the Marlin had. Let's see…Nick has had sex with 4 different women on it (Brooke, Bridget, Felicia, and now Taylor) but I think without a doubt the Marlin saw it's hottest relations with Brooke and Taylor. The Marlin was the spot of Nick's ill-fated marriage to Bridget after many false starts. That's where she also told him she 'got rid' of his baby (boo hissssss!). Nick also has had a few revelations on this boat, namely the stormy night Brooke came to him and to her senses and pledged her love for him thinking he and Bridget were done. But then we had the hot kiss with Taylor after they had both been drinking….hmmm, it seems a lot of kissing, etc happened during drunken nights on this boat! Ok, what am I forgetting? Hmmm…Jackie had to come clean with Nick on the Marlin about her part in the WTD storyline. The Marlin also took Brooke and the kiddies to their island picnic…very romantic. Stephanie and Nick have gone several rounds there as well! Actually, I think everyone on the cast has been on that boat at some point. Massimo, Eric, Stephanie, Brooke, Ridge, Taylor, Felicia, Jackie, Bridget, Rick, etc. I never saw Thorne there and I'm pretty sure sally or Clarke never showed up there either. Wow…I'd say it was one busy set on this show. Sorry to see it go…

I'm surprised Taylor didn't start screaming with all the traffic in and out of her room for little more than a touch of hypothermia. All this little accident was designed to do was make Nick and Taylor both realize how much they mean to each other and how their relationship is growing. Speaking of growing, it's obvious now they have a pretty good onscreen chemistry after watching them mess around over and over like rabbits. HOT HOT HOT! I don't know about all of you but I can't remember Ridge and Brooke goin' at it like these two did last week! This is what has been missing from this show…unbridled passion and great romantic scenes. Ridge and Brooke look downright uncomfortable when they are doing their many bedroom scenes these days. All he does is pet her like a Terrier and she looks like she's rather be anywhere than doing those scenes with him. It's totally phoned in! And these days you have to wonder if she is even thinking about Ridge when she's with him in bed. Seems like Brooke has been bitten hard by the green-eyed monster of jealousy…and I LOVE IT!!!

So, I take it that Nick is not allowed to be with anyone else in bizzarro Brooke-Land? Sick cake-eater…does she think she's all that? No man can move on after being with her? Good Lord!!! All the looks of longing and furrowed brows when she sees him with Taylor are making our loose and somewhat confused heroine seem less than sure about her decision to be with Ridge. She talks a good ball game with everyone about how it's meant to be and her and Ridge are back and better than ever, blah blah blah. No…I'm not buying it and I have to say I am surprised that Brad is even teasing us at all with the notion that Brooke is not over Nick. As a former Nick-Brooke supporter I never thought they would revisit it. I actually hope they don't to be honest. I personally am loving the romance between Taylor and Nick as I like seeing these two involved with non-Forresters and devoid of excess baggage. Brooke will just play mind games with him, Bridget will become obsessive again (and it's all too close anyway), and no Forrester man has enough independence to be good with Taylor. They are the same age, they are both strong and intelligent people, and they look great together. Their banter and dialogue has been hysterical and as far as I can tell, Taylor hasn't shed any tears yet. Now that's saying something! Maybe they really are good for each other! And I never remember her and Ridge being that hot together either! Smokin!!!!!!!!!!!

As for our other couple trying hard to be that…a couple, is Rick and Phoebe. Have these two lost their minds? Is Rick really into her or is this a cutesy little game to him? His comment Friday about whether or not it may be a harmless crush Phoebe has on him made me do a slight double-take. Then I was quickly 'righted' after watching the juvenile 'note dropping' in the hospital…in plain sight of Stephanie! Idiots!! But they want to be together and are about to start a major war within the Forrester camp. Stephanie has threatened them, Brooke has been playing the 'don't mess up my relationship with Ridge card', and Ridge continues to walk around like a Neanderthal huffing and puffing and thumping his chest like an orangutan. None of which are going to work, of course, as they are determined to make out and flirt with doing the deed. We all now Rick will be her first and that alone will make Ridge blow a tumor out of the top of his head! I still don't understand how Eric still has no idea what is going with his son? HELLO???? This is a major writing faux pas. It's all anyone can talk about in their new offices yet he doesn't weigh in at all? When will they tell him? The wedding? Give me a break…I, for one, would love to know how he feels about it.

Does anyone else out there think Phoebe is acting a little desperate? I know she is not very experienced in the relationship area but she's acting like she's in heat or something! Slow down there, kiddo! I'd hate to see her go from chaste to slut in a week or so. I can't stand the schizophrenic character jumps the writers have been doing the past few years. Phoebe doesn't even look comfortable in her kissing scenes with Rick…maybe that's the problem. I don't know…they just don't do anything for me.

Always good to see Jarred show up to remind us what a dysfunctional family the Forresters really are! I would have told the Old Bat to keep her exclusives and shove them up her behind! Scandal sells gossip rags and an inappropriate relationship 'in the family' at Forrester is just what the soap public wants!

What kind of dolt has their wedding in front of a store on opening day? Are you kidding me??? Ridge's FemBot Brooke doesn't even seem like she wants to get married that way but far be it for her to say anything but 'Yes' to that slime these days. Don't want to make the spoiled child mad, right? I started thinking about all the weddings Brooke has had and I guess this isn't the WORST setting for it…the rainforest with the leftover costumes off the back lot at CBS were pretty bad, too. So, will the happy couple be ringing people up on the registers, too? How cheap. Nothing but the worst for Ridge Forrester and the unfortunate soul that marries him.

No one likes the homeless man look on Ridge and if he doesn't shave it soon, I'll be sending a razor to the studio myself! On to this week's question: What was your favorite moment on the Shady Marlin?

SOAPBOX

Heather writes: 'Question of the week? I'm sad to report that I just don't care anymore. I've watched the show since right after it started (I was a freshman in college), but they've finally taken this virtual incest crap too far. For months I've kept up with storylines by reading daily recaps and watching on holidays and vacation days. But now, with Phoebe and Rick, I just don't care anymore. I don't even want to know what's happening on that show anymore. I can't stand this Phoebe, anyway, but the incestuousness is just disgusting! These two are not actually related, but they grew up thinking they were. Rick probably changed her diapers, for God's sake! It's beyond disgusting and I'm finally fed up.'

Phil says: 'Oh no! Rick Marone lost the love of his life (The Shady Marlin). Too bad Taylor didn't get swept overboard never to be seen again and the Shady Marlin survives for another 'sailing off into the sunset'. Can someone please give the writers the proverbial shake of the head and get this show back on track? It's sinking fast ... just like the Shady Marlin.'

Nan writes: 'Love your column…better than watching the show these days. I do like Taylor and Nick…good humor between them but the rest of the show is too perverted for me. And it will take more than a razor and shaving cream to make Ridge look better.'



Have a great week everyone!!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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