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 Two Scoops: July 31, 2006 columns
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Jason Cook
Jealousy
For the Week of July 31, 2006
What's the saying, two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead? Five people is a slip begging to happen.
Hey scoopers, Pam is on vacation, so you guys are stuck with me for another week (insert evil laughter here).

So Mimi told Patrick that Claire is Shawn's daughter (I still want to see a paternity test) which brings the total of people who know this "secret" to, if my math is correct, five. What's the saying, two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead? Five people is a slip begging to happen. What I wonder not really when the beans will be spilled, because it is probably going to drag out forever, but who the spiller of said beans will be. If I had to make an educated guess, the ever so crafty Kate will make a stupid slip that will make Philip suspicious and he will get Claire tested in secret. Then he will shoot Belle.

Okay, okay, I'm just kidding about that last part. But speaking of Philip, um where the hell is the rest of his family? The guy just crashed a CAR into a WALL at 200 miles per hour and the only ones at the hospital to see about him are the other members of the Fertility Four? Give me a break. Where is hovering Kate, to whom the most important things in the world are her (six but only four really matter) children? Where is Victor? Where are Lucas and Austin? That's right, one the roof having a good old time. Where is Billie? At the hospital to see Jack, which reminds me, Carrie and Lucas were just at the hospital. Couldn't Dr. Doom and Gloom (Lexie) have mentioned, hey by the way your baby brother was in a serious car accident? I can't wait for this show to make sense one day.

Speaking of Carrie and things that don't make any sense, why exactly again didn't she have her "pregnancy" confirmed by a doctor? Since I have never been pregnant, I had to ask my best friend who has a two year old and a four month old would an OB make you wait until ten weeks to even have an appointment, to which her response was that she was having a sonogram at eight weeks, both times. I really hate how Days plays so fast and loose with any storyline having anything remotely to do with anything medical. Mimi has an abortion and didn't bother to have any follow up care, so she is now barren. Carrie's OB didn't want to even give her an office pregnancy test to confirm the home test. Lexie's still walking around with a lump in her breast, although it has been biopsied. I'm going to get up on my soapbox here, but I think it is very irresponsible to have women be so blasť about their health, especially their reproductive health on a show that is predominately watched by young women. Misinformation can be dangerous. Now I know that this show is not ER and we're not on the Discovery Health channel, but I do believe that the writers are charged with the responsibility to their viewers of at least being somewhat accurate. But I also have to remember that we are dealing with JER here and he is not exactly known for realism. Okay, stepping off the soapbox now.

Austin is really annoying me. He knows good and well that Sami is his consolation prize, because his true love is married to his brother, and that bothers me. Yes, Sami is a lying, manipulative schemer but no woman deserves to be married to a man who would rather be with someone else. Austin is planning a big special engagement dinner for Sami, all the while making googly eyes at Carrie, asking her if she thinks that she should have married him instead of Lucas. Please Austin, let Sami tell you the truth and dump her, because this wishy-washiness has to stop one way or another. I hope Sami and EJ (who I think is really Benjy DiMera, but that's my opinion) end up together. They have great chemistry and he actually seems to understand her. What a refreshing change from everyone that is trying to make Sami what they want her to be. A leopard can't change its spots and scheming to Sami is like breathing. She is one of those people that you have to expect the worst from and hope for the best. EJ is still new, but he doesn't seem like he wants to mould her into some Donna Reed (or Carrie Brady) clone, which would be a big change from Austin and Lucas. She needs to date someone that did not spring forth from the loins of Kate. Please!

Chelsea still sucks. She is an immature little skank who thinks that she is much more clever than she really is. Stephanie and Abby both said that she is like Sami Brady in training, but at least Sami was watchable. And Sami has never been slutty. If those of you who watched the show back then, a lot of Sami's nastiness, especially towards Carrie, began when as a teenager Lucas's friend Alan raped Sami and no one would believe her until he tried to attack St. Carrie too. I understand Chelsea has been through some really bad traumas in the last year or two, but instead of trying to make her adoptive parents proud and doing something with her life, she is just a lazy little witch, who after she accidentally killed her little brother, is now trying to break up her Dad's marriage to suit her own purposes. And the stupid little games she is playing with Max are just ridiculous. Making out with other guys when you are supposed to be someone's exclusive girlfriend does not make you mysterious. It makes you a tramp.

Jack isn't responding well to his new treatment. Surprise, surprise. They're going to drag it out for fifty more years until he is miraculously cured and he an Jennifer can ride off into the sunset together. Poor Frankie. I hope they keep him around and pair him up with Billie or somebody. The show needs at least one lawyer.

Steve and Kayla made a trip to my home state (even though I live in the opposite corner from Cincinnati) and ran into Della the Skank at the honky tonk. Um, Steve, Nick, whatever your name is, could you at least have warned your new/old wife that some sleazy lady was going to drape herself all over you like a cheap suit before you arrived in the beautiful Buckeye State? "I'm his wife, or I might as well be because we have an arrangement." Wha, wha, what? I don't know about anybody else, but I would never introduce myself as someone's wife because we have an "arrangement", unless that "arrangement" involved a ring and a someone who can legally administer vows in a professional capacity. We all know Steve isn't really going to let Kayla leave like that. It just can't happen. Especially now since he knows he has a daughter and a lot of missing pieces. I can't wait to see what happens with their story.

Well, scoopers that's all I have time for this week. I want to thank everyone that sent me feedback, keep 'em coming. Have a great week, and I will see you guys next time.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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