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 Two Scoops: July 6, 2009 columns
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Independence Day
For the Week of July 6, 2009
When I was a kid, I used to daydream about breaking free from my parent's watchful eyes and being able to get away with stuff like eating a cinnamon roll and 3 shots of tequila for breakfast like I did today.
When I was a kid, I used to daydream about breaking free from my parent's watchful eyes and being able to get away with stuff like eating a cinnamon roll and 3 shots of tequila for breakfast like I did today. I used to say things to them like "You're not the boss of me!" but of course they were the boss of me. No one gave me any "options."

Michael on the other hand fought for his independence and was given several options to choose from. He didn't want to live with his Mom, and couldn't stay with his Dad's due to the fact that his dad routinely gets shot at for a living, so he was given a third option. He got to go and live with his paternal grandparents in their splendid mansion, despite his protestations.

As I recall, Sonny signed away his parental rights after Michael was shot. Did I miss the part where they were reinstated? I hope not. Let's face it; Sonny really doesn't make wise choices as a parent. Michael has brain damage, issues with impulse control and is acting erratically. So of course, Sonny bought him a convertible…? I understand that Sonny is overcompensating for the fact his violent lifestyle got his son shot, but giving his son the means to crash his newly fixed brain into a tree isn't smart.

Edward, who is trying desperately to earn Michaels' devotion, allowed him to go for a joyride in the new car. Of course there is the small fact that Michael doesn't have a license or even a learner's permit. Let's hope Morgan doesn't end up with his head plowed into a tree in a repeat of the AJ/Jason debacle.

At the Q house Michael only has to contend with Monica, Edward and Tracy. Michael's Grandpa Ghost Alan is now headed to As the World Turns, and both of his cousins Ned and Dillon have also moved on to other soaps. GH is just so generous about sharing its talent with other shows. (Sarcasm, just another service I provide.)

I have a confession to make… I changed my mind. The first week NuKristina aired and was hitting on Jason, it sickened me. My first impression of the aged character was a bad one. But I am an open minded sort, and at second glance, I kind of like the newly aged Corinthos kids. We also got our first glimpse of NuMolly this week. I think it is a shame that they saw fit to bring her on after Ric left town.

The tricky part with aging only some of the kids is that now Cameron, Jake, and presumably Spencer have remained the age they were, while the kids they used to play with are now teenagers. It's like living in Eerie, Indiana.

Next is the small matter of Sonny's other son. If you have wondered why wounded Zacharra soldier Dominic won't go away and keeps popping up in random places, rumor has it is because Dominic is actually Dante, Sonny' son with Olivia.

Olivia kept her son away from his father to ensure he didn't get involved in Sonny's criminal activities. So how is it that he is a hit man for the Zacharra mob? More importantly, how is it that Olivia doesn't even suspect it? They have painted her as a devoted and doting mother who worked hard to make sure her son was unaffected by his Dad's mob ties, and then he shows up as a mob soldier? That does not compute. Olivia is not an idiot, but this latest storyline twist will make her appear to be an idiot. Pathetic.

Not everyone reads news about soaps that they don't watch, but soapcentral.com featured a news story about accusations that P&G purposely alienated viewers before Guiding Light's demise. I can only assume the powers that be at ABC are attempting the same sort of sabotage. There really aren't any good explanations for the reckless way they have handled the show and its beloved characters otherwise.

The one idiotic thing that is driving me mad right now is how Carly and Claudia keep talking about their babies but neither of them has even the slightest baby bump. Claudia's baby will have brain damage from having its tiny soft head squished by Claudia's tight black leather pants. Hey writer's if you want your characters to be pregnant, at some point you have to let them appear to have at least gained an ounce or two.

Alexis was caught in a political scandal this week after Mayor Floyd threw her to the wolves during a press conference. In an odd piece of revisionist history, back when we saw Alexis losing her hair and vomiting during chemo, she apparently also had a fling with the mayor. Well, okay if it moves the storyline along I guess it's not any weirder than people being cryogenically frozen in underground lairs at GH.

My favorite part of that unfolding drama was when Diane showed up at her door with a bottle of wine in hand. I would do anything to have a friend like that in my life. Oh wait, I do have one but she lives in Ohio and I live in California so our days of dropping by each others houses with bottles of liquor is on hold for now. But I really do appreciate the female friendships that are growing in Port Charles.

Alexis and Diane are both bright competent women who are successful, stylish and make lousy choices when it comes to men. I also like the friendship that is growing between Carly and Olivia. Carly hasn't had a girlfriend since Courtney died, so she's due.

It's hard to find a friend you can trust isn't it ladies? I recently heard someone I considered a friend was saying catty things about me at a party. I called her on it and she said "Well, you weren't there. If you had come to the party, we wouldn't have been talking about you; we would have talked about someone else who wasn't there." No really, she said that. And they wonder why I don't go to their parties…

So when I see supportive friendships like Alexis and Diane on GH, it delights me. I enjoy seeing women who accept one another, encourage and support one another. They know each others' flaws and vices and rejoice in them rather than tear each other apart. Way to go GH writers. That friendship is precious.

On the other hand, the friendship, or friendship with benefits as the case may be for Rebecca and Ethan is somewhat creepy. Ethan was always kind of a happy go lucky scoundrel sort that I enjoyed, but it appears they intend to make him over into a crazed stalker which disappoints me. They worked so hard to sell him to us as Luke Jr., and just as we embraced that persona the writers switched gears and painted him as an angry guy about to snap. Why?

As the story was originally told, he and Rebecca met in the airport while they were both on their way to Port Charles, so it's not like they had been lovers for years, they have only been involved for a few months. So why did Ethan get so crazy, jealous and possessive over Rebecca when he was supposedly just in it for the loot? I don't understand the shift.

Speaking of shifts, does anyone but me remember when Coleman's bar was a dive bar where people were embarrassed to be seen? It was on the bad side of town and you only went there to score drugs, or to have flings in the rent by the hour room above the pool hall. Now, it's the hot teen hangout, the doctors and nurses hang out, and the angry second generation mob hear hangout. Why doesn't anyone go and drink at Luke's casino which is a much classier joint and also has gambling?

When Patrick asked Coleman to be his best man, I wonder if Robin told him Coleman used to make girls strip in his bar when their boyfriends owed him money. But, Coleman is now a respectable businessman and installed a karaoke machine in his lounge, so I suppose we are about to be treated to some soap stars who harbor rock star fantasies singing. Mind you, GH has a decent track record with this, Rick Springfield, Jack Wagner and Ricky Martin all had successful musical careers that were promoted or launched on GH.

Since Coleman keeps pressing Patrick (Jason Thompson) to sing, I have to assume he intends to launch a record of some sort. The only thing I have heard him sing previously was Winter Wonderland on a cheesy soap star Christmas album. And since Spinelli agreed to sing to further his "courtly love" efforts toward Maxie, one can assume Bradford Anderson might be hoping for a musical career, too. I have seen a few videos on YouTube of him singing at soap fan events. Heck there is even a video of a duet with Bradford Anderson and Tony Geary if you are so inclined… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDvYeE7nZ6Q&feature=related

My point is the fact that Coleman decided to install a karaoke machine in his bar was not random as it seems. Methinks someone in Port Charles has American Idol stars in their eyes.

As to Spinelli and Maxie and the "courtly love" bit? I am already bored with it, so I pray Maxie can seduce him by Tuesday so we don't have to endure a whole summer of Spinelli reciting poetry on bar tables. Romantic notions aside, loving someone from afar is never as wonderful as loving them for real in your arms, face to face,

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Lucky and Ethan team up against Rebecca and do some brotherly bonding? Will Monica buy Michael an AAA membership so he can get a free tow once he crashes it? Will Sonny ever beef up his security so bloody mob hit men, Ric, Kate, or anyone else wandering the woods can't just walk into his house? Will Carly tell Jax where she gets her hair done so he can get a decent haircut, too? Will Grandma Bobbie stop by to see Michael since he's at her old pal Monica's house now? Will Grandma Monica and Grandma Bobbie fight over Grandpa Mike?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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