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Dead man's hand
For the Week of September 3, 2012
Duke Lavery is involved with Robin's kidnapping. Jerry Jax poisoned the entire town. Ewen Keenan was revealed as a killer. Jasper Jax is back, and it somehow all seems connected to a hand of famous cards, 'the dead man's hand,' that Wild Bill Hickok was allegedly holding when gunned down. Two Scoops' Jennifer Biller tries to make sense of this wild mystery.
Duke Lavery looks pretty good for a dead man. So do Jerry and Jasper Jacks.

At the rate "dead" people keep popping up in Port Charles, I shouldn't be surprised that we're about to revisit the Dead Man's Hand storyline from 2003. I also wouldn't be surprised if we saw Tupac, Elvis, or Jimmy Hoffa strolling on the docks.

Don't misconstrue my snark. I absolutely love that dead characters keep coming back to life. In fact, if we found out that Alan and A.J. were abducted by Casey the Alien and living on a nearby planet, I'd be down with it. I'll suspend belief in any circumstance, if it means we get back these rich, wonderful characters and talented actors.

It appears Duke Lavery is behind Robin's "death" and kidnapping. I'll give you a second to digest that juicy morsel. My neck is still recovering from whiplash from the double take I did when Duke was revealed as the mystery man at the clinic. Duke wasn't on my short list of possible suspects. In fact, he wasn't in the realm of possibility or even on my radar, because I heartbreakingly watched him die in Anna's arms all those years ago.

Has Duke transitioned to a bad guy? Is he working for someone? Is he trying to protect Robin? I have no idea, but I do know that I can't wait to watch the next episode. Mission accomplished, team GH.

This Dead Man's Hand that everyone was chasing back in 2003 seems to be forefront again. I'd like to be able to explain it to you, but my head is swimming as much as yours. At first, the mere mention of that cursed hand of cards stirred bad memories for me. It was around that time that the show killed the colorful Jacks patriarch, and somehow led us to believe that a silly hand of cards could affect his mental health.

Then I remembered why I've always been angry toward the Sam character. It was her meddling with Jax's car that caused him to miss seeing his father before he passed away. (See, I told you I hold grudges. Thanks for dredging up that old grudge for me, GH!) I also remember Luke having the cards at one time.

What this has to do with the here and now and why Jerry poisoned an entire town, I do not know. But again, I can't wait to watch the next episode. Mission accomplished, team GH.

Why is Jerry asking for the exact amount of money that equaled Wild Bill Hickok's card hand? Again, I have no clue. What I do know is that we get to pick at the scab of the Jacks family dynamic, and it turns out that it is much more complicated than we ever imagined.

Here's what I do know. Jasper Jacks is back in all his glory. That man can still command a room like few others. (More on that later.) And Jerry Jacks is a perfect villain. He's funny, snarky, and when with Jax or Alexis, a little vulnerable.

Another surprising twist is that Dr. Ewen Keenan killed John Jacks, bashed Patrick in the head with a bat, and kidnapped Liz. Gulp. Okay, so much for him being a good guy and a potential love interest for Liz. It appears that Ewen killed John Jacks as revenge for this Dead Man's Hand and the ruination of the Keenan family. I didn't see that coming, and I'm guessing neither did you.

So far this storyline has been a roller coaster ride, with thrills, twists, and turns. Keep up the fantastic work, GH; I don't want the ride to end.


Meanwhile


By now you've probably heard the news that Steve Burton is leaving the show. It's a sad day for GH fans. Not only are we about to lose another Quartermaine (sniff, sniff), but Burton is a talent, and his character has been instrumental in softening tough-guy Sonny Corinthos. I was hoping that Jason and Elizabeth would finally reconcile after all these years, but now it seems that won't be happening. (Yes, I admit I've been pulling for a Webber/Quartermaine coupling for more than a decade.) I wish Burton the best in his new adventure, but I'm sad I won't get to see the bluest eyes in television on my screen every week.

In related news, the understatement of the week, and perhaps the decade, goes to Spinelli for this gem: "Stone Cold, you look hot."

What do the men of Port Charles have against shaving? Is there a razor shortage in town? Seriously, Scoopers, it's driving me nuts. Call me old school, but this scruffy bunch of men look unkempt and homeless, not like the hotties that we're counting on to attract new viewers to Genera Hospital in its new fall timeslot. I could understand, perhaps, if one or two characters had stubble, considering the town is in crisis. But I counted seven -- Ewen, John McBain, Jax, Luke, Jerry, Todd, and Johnny -- in one day, with this same, awful new trend of partial goatees, or whatever they're calling those hairy tufts sprouting from their chins. You don't see Carly or Alexis sporting hairy armpits or stubbly legs. Grooming 101 has apparently eluded the GH hair department. Get it together, guys.

I'd like your opinions, Scoopers. When Shawn planted one on Alexis this week, was it hot or not? I'm still trying to decide whether I like this coupling. Her obvious chemistry with newly returned Jerry and Jax has perhaps tainted any potential I saw with Shawn. And then, of course, there is always the Mac connection. How it is possible for one woman to have so much chemistry with so many men, yet she can't seem to get any action, is beyond me.

Bravo to Luke for finally telling Anna that Ethan wasn't Robert's son. And bravo to Anna for not giving Luke a pass for robbing her of grieving Robin with Robert. The fact that Robert is still MIA still annoys me, especially when I see other vets, like Duke Lavery, popping up. Did Tristan Rogers tick off someone at ABC, or is he just not available? The fact that Robert is not part of this Luke/Anna/Robin storyline is an epic fail. Rogers exudes charm, talent, and history, with every accented syllable. He should be a part of this tale. If you're listening, ABC, fix this now!

Unexpected surprises are one of life's greatest pleasures. I'm putting the Tracy and Joe Jr. romance in the unexpected surprises category. Who knew that Tracy would have sizzling chemistry with this handsome mob man? She and Luke have always warmed my heart, but frankly, Luke's treatment of Tracy this past year has soured me somewhat. Tracy deserves better.

I sure hope Joe Jr. isn't just using her for her cash. He gave her the antidote, instead of saving it for himself, so he clearly isn't 100 percent the bad guy that Sonny, John, and Connie have led us to believe. Or maybe that's my wishful thinking. I don't want this guy to be a ruthless killer and rapist! Is it too much to ask for that I hope Joe didn't brutally murder John's sister? Tracy deserves some happiness, and the talented Richard Steinmetz is making his Joe Jr. all the more likeable every day.

Is it wrong that I want Kristina and Trey to go back to Yale and take Starr with them?

Jasper Jacks has still got it. Even Todd Manning was impressed. "The man who gave me the best handshake I've ever had in my life," Manning quipped. I'm thrilled to see Jax back on my screen, but I fear it's only short-term. I'm begging here, GH, please get Jax back where he belongs. There aren't many actors who can command a room like Ingo Rademacher. Jax has chemistry with Carly and Alexis, and so far he's been written well on this return trip. On a shallow note, with the news of Burton's departure, GH's hot guy quotient just took a major hit. Rademacher fills the part nicely.


Best Lines of the Week


(Sam walks in on Alexis, who had just been released from the hospital, and John talking about his legal case.)
Sam: "I'm sure this isn't what Steve meant when he said you should be taking it easy."
Alexis: "I'm having a conversation. I'm not taking a Jazzercise class."


(John tries to get Jerry Jacks to explain his evil plot.)
John: "I don't have time for this. Maybe you'll feel like talking more down at the station."
Jerry: "Is that before or after waterboarding?"
John: "Waterboarding? We don't do that anymore. We got all new stuff."


(Carly tells Todd that Johnny left town but not before escaping the water toxin.)
Carly: "I'm pretty sure he's already infected."
Todd: "How? Have you seen the guy's hair? He's not big on the shower."


(Alexis shows up at jail to see Jerry as his lawyer.)
Jerry: "If this is your way of thanking me for saving your life, a simple file in a butter cake would have sufficed."
Alexis: "I don't bake. You know that."


Reader Spotlight


Thanks to all of you who wrote to discuss the events on GH. I love hearing your opinions, even when they don't agree with mine. Keep those emails coming!

  • Hi, Jennifer! I just wanted to say that I am also loving the current writing for GH. I have to admit that I was fast forwarding through most of GH lately, but now I am rewinding just to watch scenes again! One thing that bothered me last week was "new" Kristina. She couldn't even manage a tear, while Alexis was dying. Molly's performance was amazing and Sam was trying to be strong. And (Kristina's) storyline with her marrying Trey isn't believable for someone as smart of the "old" Kristina was. I am really disappointed in the direction GH has taken this character. -- Nicole

  • I am so glad Jax is back. I have never been crazy about Carly so hope he finds someone new. I like Jason and Elizabeth together. -- Sharon

  • It is taking so long for Sam to find out about her baby. I hope she gets her son back before the baby gets older. I want (Sam) and Jason to remain together. Liz needs to find her own man. I wish Kristina would be a little wiser. Molly has better sense than she does. Kristina believes anything a man tells her. Please hurry and bring Robin home, before Patrick gets with someone else. -- Glenda Brown

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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