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 Two Scoops: October 14, 2013 columns
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Sweet child o' mine
For the Week of October 14, 2013
A custody battle heats up, but should biology prevail over love? Meanwhile, Luke is in a battle for his life with Jerry Jacks, and Robin is poised to return as Patrick takes steps to move forward with Sabrina. Liz Masters explores all of the surprising twists and interesting turns in this week's Two Scoops.
I find myself in a bit of a quandary. I feel for Spinelli's pain because he truly does desire to be a father to his daughter. On the heels of learning of his child's existence, he was immediately faced with the choice of either standing up and claiming his daughter or breaking the hearts of two people who loved her and believed that she was their biological child. Further complicating things was Spinelli's genuine love for Lulu.


In many ways, Lulu was Spinelli's first love. It was his infatuation with her that introduced him to us and his love for her that had him putting down roots in Port Charles.


However, Spinelli did ultimately agree to go along with Maxie's cockamamie plan, which, as a parent, I just cannot conceive of ever doing. I would walk through fire, climb mountains, and sell my soul to the devil himself before I would let anyone take my children away from me.


I think that is why I have the most compassion for Dante and Lulu right now and the least for Maxie. Truthfully, I can't even stand to look at Maxie, let alone hear her sputter with indignation because Dante and Lulu aren't happily handing over Connie along with a diaper bag full of forgiveness.


I'm someone who firmly believes that biology doesn't make a parent. Anyone with a healthy uterus and sperm can create life, but it takes a heck of a lot more to be a parent. I know for a certainty that a parent can love an adopted child every bit as much as a biological one because one of my siblings is adopted. I challenge anyone to sit down with my parents when we are around and figure out which of my siblings is adopted. I guarantee that it will be next to impossible to tell because my parents truly do love us equally and often forget that one of their children is adopted.


It is for that reason that I believe that Dante and Lulu sincerely love Connie as parents. There is no doubt in my mind that they feel the fear that any biological parent would feel when threatened with the possibility of having their baby -- their baby -- ripped away from them. The truth is, the law favors biology over love, and Dante and Lulu know that.


Maxie infuriated me this week because she acted like the victim. I applauded Olivia when she told Maxie that Maxie's "wistful" expression and desire to take the blame for everything didn't mean a thing. I honestly get the feeling that Maxie doesn't really appreciate just how awful her lie was and how much damage it caused. She gave her child away and allowed her best friend to fall in love and bond with the little girl all because Maxie was afraid to tell the truth.


Maxie was perfectly willing to hand her baby over simply because she didn't want Dante and Lulu to be mad at her for "failing" them because she had miscarried their baby. We spent months listening to Maxie rationalize her decision with that argument, even though Britt had made it very clear that the miscarriage was not Maxie's fault. Maxie was afraid to take the heat, so she ran away from the fire -- she didn't walk through it.


However, Brad did the dirty work for Maxie, so now she has decided that Dante and Lulu should give the baby back because the secret is out. In the words of Liesl Obrecht, "Not zo fazt."


I think that both Spinelli and Maxie's attitudes are a little skewered, so before they go traipsing off into the sunset with their daughter, I want them to squirm a little because they both need a little attitude adjustment. For them, it's all about biology, which I find especially odd given that Maxie considers Mac to be her father, a man who has absolutely no biological connection to Maxie whatsoever. Robin, either, for that matter, and Maxie claims to love her like a sister.


It bothered me that Spinelli and Maxie showed up on Dante and Lulu's doorstep, expecting the betrayed couple to hand over the baby, without making any plans or preparations to care for the four-week-old infant. I get that they, as Connie's biological parents, want to be with her, but they have to work with the situation that they both created instead of expecting everyone to allow them to sweep it under the rug and jump on board with Plan B.


To my knowledge, Spinelli doesn't even have a home. The last I heard, he was living at his office because he didn't have two nickels to rub together let alone rent a cheap apartment. Sure, Maxie and Spinelli have friends and family who will help them get everything that they need, but that takes time. Would it have been so hard to give Dante and Lulu some time to say goodbye to Connie, while Spinelli and Maxie put things in place to make Connie's transitions to a new home and new parents easier? Perhaps even taken some time to get know their daughter?


Like it or not, Spinelli and Maxie have to accept that Connie bonded with Dante and Lulu, despite the ridiculous vision that Olivia had in the elevator or Lulu's suggestion the first night that Connie spent in the loft that Connie acted like she wasn't where she belonged.


Most babies, mine included, are fussy when they first come home from the hospital and are prone to getting their days and nights mixed up. Infants require routine, not constant upheaval.


I know that Spinelli and Maxie are going to get their daughter back because ultimately they are not evil people or unfit to raise a child. They have the support of wonderful people who will help and guide them through the travails of parenthood. However, the way things are looking now, I can't see Maxie and Lulu's friendship surviving this. Not even with the help of all the king's horses and all the king's men.


Then again, who would have thought that Carly would be lusting after Franco?


I received quite a bit of feedback from readers who agreed that Carly and Franco's romance feels forced and rushed, so folks, it's not just me. I love Cartini. I have the utmost respect for their talent and their genuine love for soaps. The ratings are up, the show is oozing with talent, and I love that they've returned to the format of rotating the various storylines every few days. They are the Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark of the soaps -- on fire!


But I am not warming to Carly and Franco as more than friends. In fact, as the storyline progresses, I find myself disliking them more and more as a romantic pairing.


This week, Carly turned out to be quite the multi-tasker when she managed to squeeze in a date with "Derek" during her frantic search for her son, Morgan, whom she insists is in crisis. What followed was, at times, quite painful to watch. I like Franco, warts and all, and I'm actually warming to Carly after years of despising her, but their middle school antics in the restaurant were beneath both the actors and the characters. Heck, Rafe and Taylor are playing the same exact game with Molly and T.J. but with far more finesse.


Thank the soap gods that someone had the presence of mind to insert Julian and Diane into this storyline because William deVry and Carolyn Hennesy saved those scenes in the restaurant from being a complete disaster.


I really can't get enough of William deVry and Julian is growing on me by leaps and bounds with each passing day. I realize that it's shallow and superficial of me, but I find William deVry incredibly easy on the eyes. Julian is smoking hot and has a wonderful dry sense of humor and a vulnerability to him that I find irresistible.


I can't wait for the scenes when Sam learns that Julian Jerome is her father and he finds out that he has yet another child, Lucas Jones. It seems more likely that Lucas will soon grace our screens because of the Beetlejuice effect on soaps; they say a person's name a few times and poof, there they are.


It's going to be interesting to see how Julian reacts when he finds out that Lucas is gay. Will it be an issue for Julian, or will he be open-minded and accepting? There's a potential for a really meaty storyline here, especially if Lucas is written into the show.


I hope Julian doesn't follow Sonny's example because Sonny continues to royally screw things up with hot-headed Morgan who has convinced himself that he's the victim in a mess that his lies and jealousy created.


Sonny tried to mend fences with Morgan by marching over to Ava's penthouse and ordering Morgan to pack his things because Sonny was taking Morgan home. Not surprisingly, Morgan objected and promptly threw a temper tantrum that included another declaration of "You are dead to me!" Sonny had to have been having one of those "Oh crap" moments that every parent has when their precious baby suddenly mimics Mom or Dad's bad behavior.


It happened to me the other day when my otherwise easy-going and sweet-natured son blurted out an obscenity when a driver cut him off. I called him out on it, but he countered by accusing me of turning into a sailor whenever I get behind the wheel of the car. My first instinct was to deny, deny, deny until I realized that he was right. I played the "I'm your mother" card that allows me to have the last word in any argument with my children and then made a mental note to try harder to keep my opinion about idiot drivers confined to my head when driving with my kids.


I love Ava, but I do not like her tawdry relationship with Morgan because it's based on sex, not affection. Ava is inexplicably in love with Silas, while Morgan continues to maintain that he loves Kiki. Carly is right; Morgan acts like a twelve-year-old. I'll go one step further: he's the female version of Kristina on Viagra.


Frankly, I think that Ava is better-suited for Sonny rather than Morgan, but I can't see that happening anytime soon because Sonny has decided to put a target on Ava's back, which seemed to genuinely surprise Ava when he told her. Shouldn't she have expected that given that she's in town to take Sonny down? It was inevitable, so it shouldn't have rattled her as much as it did.


Nevertheless, it did shake Ava, so it looks like Game On for the Corinthos/Jerome mob war -- with Morgan smack-dab in the middle.


Across the pond, on Cassadine Island, things are hopping. Tracy slipped on a pair of hipster glasses and a cap and is now passing herself off as one of Jerry's guards. Luke is overjoyed to see his Spanky-buns because his time is quickly running out, so he doesn't have to die alone, after all. I have always preferred Luke with Tracy rather than with Laura because I've always thought that Tracy was a perfect match for Luke. They are the same side of a coin in so many fundamental ways that they simply make more sense to me than the rape-mance that Luke and Laura shared.


I was thrilled that Luke told Tracy that he loved her and that he wanted to give her the whole meal, not just the enchilada, if a miracle should occur and he survived the polonium poisoning. Luckily for Luke, Robin managed to formulate a cure while taking care of Britt's newborn-toddler.


I have decided that Britt's baby is a freak of nature. He was born on September 10, 2013, yet the baby that Robin is bouncing on her lap is downright ginormous. I don't know what kind of prenatal vitamins Britt was taking, but it appears to have triggered a serious case of SORAS in her son. At the rate that baby Ben is growing, he's going to be walking out of that lab with Robin next week instead of being pushed in that multi-purpose pram that Liesl dropped him off in.


I'm a bit confused why Robin couldn't have simply doubled the ingredients to make two batches of serum or write down the formula so a drug company could manufacture it, but it doesn't matter because her time as a prisoner is drawing to a close, and Patrick will finally be free of the limbo that he's been stuck in ever since it was revealed to the audience that Robin was alive.


I feel sorry for Sabrina because there is no doubt in my mind that Patrick will welcome Robin back home with open arms and a heart overflowing with joy and love. I think, deep down inside, Sabrina knows that she will always be third in line for Patrick's affections, behind Emma and Robin, which is why she seems to be pulling back from Patrick even though he's saying all the right words and doing all the right things. I am certain that she's picking up on the lack of conviction in his tone and in his eyes because there's an aura of sadness and uncertainty about Sabrina that wasn't there before, even when Britt was doing her worst.


Dear readers, you could have knocked me over with a feather when Olivia revealed to Duke that she once had a giant crush on Robert "Robbie" Scorpio. As Olivia gushed about Robert, I realized that I could get into an Olivia/Robert pairing, especially with Holly in the mix. I think it would be a lot more interesting than Sonny and Olivia trying to rekindle things, especially after everything that happened with Connie.


I was also surprisingly entertained by Faison and Obrecht. I have no idea how Cesar managed to get past his obvious disdain of Liesl long enough to impregnate her, but they were an absolute hoot on Friday, and I wouldn't mind seeing more of them together. Perhaps Anna can throw Cesar and Liesl into a jail cell together for life. Now that would be a fate worse than death for Faison.


By the way, Cesar and Liesl should really consider getting a patent on those latex masks to sell during Halloween season because they could make a mint!


A few things that tickled my fancy

Derek refers to Franco as "Mr. Franco" as Derek departs for a date with Carly
Franco: "It's just Franco. It's not 'Mister' anything. Why is it so hard to remember, Mr. Son of a bitch?"


Jerry recounts Robin's birth and early years in an effort to convince her that he knows that it's her birthday
Robin: "If I ever need a biographer, you'll be my first call."


Duke asks Olivia about the vision she had of Faison and Anna kissing
Olivia: "I saw Faison"
Duke: "Are you sure?"
Olivia: "Yes, I'm sure. I would know that nasty mug anywhere."


Faison and Liesl discuss their daughter
Liesl: "Surely, you remember Britta?"
Faison (sneers) "Vaguely."


General Hospital made "Clip of the week" on The Soup!

Franco becomes frustrated when he fails to re-create crazy-as-a-bedbug Heather's abstract painting of what I'm fairly certain is a BLT sandwich
Franco: (throws hands up in the air as he looks at painting) "Why? Why is this so hard? Who are you? Heather, what are you trying to say? How can I re-create this monstrosity of a painting for Sebastian when I can't even decipher what it is you're all about?"


Thank you for taking the time to read this week's column. I love to read your thoughts, too, so click here to send me an email, or scroll down the page to leave comments.


Until next time, dear readers, take care.
Liz Masters

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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