Anything but harmony in Harmony
For the Week of June 16, 2008
Alistair's death set off a sequence of events that will cause an earthquake to destroy the town. Tabitha and Kay used a spell to postpone the inevitable, but all of the signs show that death is already in Harmony.
This town has gotten crazier with every passing day. Our current position is that Alistair's death set off a sequence of events that will cause an earthquake to wipe Harmony off the map. Tabitha and Kay used a spell to postpone and delay the inevitable but all of the signs show that death is already in Harmony. Let's examine how the town residents are spending their remaining time on earth. An earthquake is coming and Juanita is known to be no less than an hour's drive away.
Sheridan, Fancy and Pretty remain locked in a contest to win that booby-prize known as Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald. Fancy uses sex, Sheridan keeps having to remind Luis that she has his son, and Pretty is faking a pregnancy, each one certain their plan to reel him in will work. Luis seems to have chosen Fancy but if her sister Pretty or Aunt Sheridan walk into the room he will say or do anything to keep the peace. In my opinion, he is being insincere to all three women, but they can't see that. If placating Pretty is something he favors then why is she wrong to imagine he'd marry her to keep her calm (perhaps thinking he can divorce her after the baby is born.) Luis foolishly thinks he can marry Fancy in a ceremony with three other couples and walk past Sheridan and Pretty to do it. If he had even one brain cell, he'd know they won't let him do that. And really, what are they winning? Juanita will kill anyone who is involved with Luis. This gives the expression "I'd die for love" a whole new meaning.
Theresa's bizarre behavior has escalated. Instead of taking Ethan aside and quietly and in confidence revealing herself to be alive, she's encouraging her son to pull cruel pranks, she is leaving letters dictating her wishes, and she is revealing herself to everyone but him. This week she told Paloma not 8 feet away from a room full of people. In fact, one of them heard Paloma call her Theresa. Instead of trusting in love and Ethan to protect her, she intends to keep playing the role of Gertrude the nanny so that Juanita won't kill her. Juanita will just kill her children in front of her instead. She has got to be true love's greatest lame brain.
Pilar is the dumbest cluck of all. She has been made aware that Juanita is less than an hour's drive from Harmony and coming to kill her. So she makes a plan for the whole family to go on an extended vacation immediately. Not a bad plan unless you realize that immediately means waiting a day or two for a wedding. Want to advertise your whereabouts? Have a wedding in the town church - with four couples.
In fact, as odd as it is, Tabitha is the only one talking sense. She knows she has to protect her daughter and she's sold her house and is packing her things to leave Harmony. Awfully clever really, since the house won't be standing in a short while. Let the next owner worry about it. P.S. and by the way, the woman buying the house is Juanita. She won't much care if the house falls into the ground so long as the Lopez-Fitzgerald family is dead. As the ghosts and goblins and skeletons move out, Kay seems only concerned with Tabitha's so called selfishness. Where will they go? What will they do? Tabitha tells her it is kinder to ask them to move than to let them all stay and watch all of the creatures slaughtered. Kay replies, you are kicking us out on the street and hey, who will baby sit Maria for me? Kay is bereft of losing her freeloader status and her unpaid babysitters and hasn't given a thought to the fact that the earthquake or Juanita will kill her daughter. In fact, she's standing right next to Juanita and can't put two and two together.
Tabitha is a breath of fresh air. Juanita mentioned a triple wedding and Tabitha started talking about her time with the Rev. Moon. I wish they'd have let her finish her statement. Now we have four couples, it will be interesting to see who does perform the ceremony.
Kay and Miguel, the original couple; Paloma and Noah, joining them in marriage; Luis and Fancy getting married before the trip; and Gwen and Ethan recommitting to their marriage via the church. Let's see, Kay is Noah and Ethan's sister. Miguel is brother to Luis and Paloma, and I guess that leaves Fancy and Gwen the odd man out accept that they both live in the Crane Mansion. Juanita's plan to wipe out the LF extended family seems to have fallen on a lucky streak.
I tell you all, I have to wonder who will be getting married. Spoilers suggest the show will end with a wedding - but whom? Theresa can't seem to get Ethan away from Gwen. What will she do? Lock Gwen in the closet and throw on a heavy veil? Ethan, do you take this heavily veiled woman as your wife? Maybe they could buy two heavy veils and Sheridan can pass herself off as Fancy. Or maybe the bomb Juanita is planting will throw brides next to different grooms as the priest says "man and wife." The only thing for certain is that things are bound to turn out differently than the families expect.
That leaves Gwen to discuss. While she seems paranoid we know it isn't called paranoid when you are right. She feels Theresa's meddlesome presence in the house and she's right. Theresa is right there plotting and planning and now she's got Little Ethan working with her. As she said, like mother like son. So the line of the week goes to Rebecca, "Theresa is like garbage; the room stinks for a long time after she's gone." Stink on, cause she ain't gone. Not by a long shot.
email THE COLUMNIST
Send your thoughts to Love264.
Share this story with friends, family or the world.
SEND TO A FRIEND
Email this article to a friend.
View a printer friendly version of this article.
Offer your own commentary in a personalized soap
Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com/Passions Online or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
To make comments about the Two Scoops column or to chat with the Scoop staff, send email to Love264 or to EkEk.
General comments can be sent to Two Scoops.