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 Two Scoops: June 27, 2005 columns
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Jeanne Cooper
Oops!
by Nita
For the Week of June 27, 2005
Desperate to dislodge the clinging mob monkeys from their bent backs, Brittany and Bobby have concocted a foolproof plan.
Desperate to dislodge the clinging mob monkeys from their bent backs, Brittany and Bobby have concocted a foolproof plan, "fool" being the operative word. Convince all of Genoa City she betrayed Bobby, winding up with a baby boy she has unscientifically determined was sired by J.T..

The best thing about said plan is that it flings a rusty monkey wrench into the tummy-turning antics of J.T. and Mac. But ... because with me you know there's always going to be one, there was still plenty about this plan to make my eyes roll and my brows try to leap into my hairline.

First, there is the mob. Could there be any less menacing mob figures than those represented by less than vicious Vinny and his silent sidekick? It's a few thousand bucks, for goodness sake. Nikki probably carries that in her tiny little purse as pocket change and undoubtedly would be thrilled to give it to Bobby. He could have paid them off and been done with it. For that matter, he should have just borrowed some money from Nikki to begin with and never taken the diamonds in the first place. Yeah, I know, his macho pride wouldn't let him take a Newman handout. But I see Marsino has no problem putting his manhood on the line by having his wife beg college boy to save their burning bacon.

Which brings me to J.T.. "Mac, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I never fell for anyone so fast. I care about you. To prove it, let me sing these two sappy love songs I wrote for you the other day. And look," he adds desperately, holding out a few torn off sheets covered with his chickenscratch, "here are the half-written lyrics to yet a third ditty detailing my devotion."

Okay, I don't mean to make fun. All right, I take that back. Of course I do. I understand that J.T. wants to be a good friend to Brittany. In fact, judging from his recent actions, clearly there is nothing he wouldn't do for her. So as much as he "cares" for Mac, those budding feelings obviously pale next to his gargantuan regard for Brittany since he's agreed to allow himself to be a pawn on the Marsino's chess board. But as we all now know, the whole thing is a game. A dangerous one the Marsinos would have us believe, but a game just the same. And if Mac was any kind of an actress, she ought to be able to play it as convincingly as the other three. But obviously the others don't trust her ability to pull it off. Besides, her knowledge would drain all the drama from this three's a crowd dilemma because then there'd be no heartbreak hill for Mac to mount. I just hope this doesn't mean a whole lot more of Mac's monotonous moping around the mansion.

Speaking of acting abilities, and despite my well-documented distaste for this duo, I confess I quite enjoyed their handling of this knotty twist in their torrid tale. For the first time, the two were able to stop their irritating and tedious twittering and sink their chops into something meatier and much more interesting. Finally, all Mac's silly age-inappropriate simpering was slung aside in favor of something serious. J.T.'s torn in two torment at having to rip Mac's palpitating heart from her chest in order to save the Marsino's lives was so well done, If I hadn't already figured out the naughty night never happened, I would have swallowed his story, hook, line and sinker. Just my opinion, but J.T. has long been wasted as a supposed player or as a foil to someone's lovesick devotion. So it will be a welcome change to see him cope with this problem. As for Mac, I actually almost felt her pain.

Now, on to Mrs. Marsino. Contrary to how it may have appeared these past six or so months, looks like our Brittany has really not changed all that much. She's still remains the selfish little princess she always was. Yeah, yeah, I know. She's doing whatever she has to in order to protect her BAAA-BY. If Mac gets her feelings hurt and her heart broken, oh well. That's nothing compared to the life of her BAAA-BY. Never mind that Ma and Pa Hodges have enough money to stash the pampered princess in some secret place until Bobby can loose his leg from the snare he stepped into. Heaven forbid that our Brittany should have to inconvenience herself and solve her own problems. No, much better that J.T. turn his life inside out just so Brittany can continue clomping around patting her burgeoning belly which, of course, contains her BAAA-BY.

So now we have a double set of star-crossed duos to contend with. Well, since Mac is the only one left out of the loop, she's going to be the sole one crying inconsolably in her Koolaid. I do have to admit Friday's slo-mo closing clasp between the Marsinos (proof positive the marital malfunction was manufactured) was the first time I actually felt something for these two. Don't worry. I'm sure it won't last.

Now, having said all of the above, I think I'm going to enjoy watching this one play out. Mac has claimed she "thinks she loves" J.T., but she's also repeatedly hammered home the fact that she hates "lying," an act for which she supposedly spurned both Daniel and Kevin. Besides Kay, will there be any other shoulders on which she'll lean for support? And when the truth finally comes out, will she grant J.T. fast forgiveness, considering the extenuating circumstances? Or will he remain on the rejected roll? And how will Bobby wiggle out of the mob's stranglehold? Is Detective Weber going to get to stick out his can't solve a case otherwise chest again, when Bobby makes him look good by way of another Marsino manipulated sting? Or having been burned once, will the mob know better than to step blindly into that trap again? Come August or thereabouts, will Bobby be unable to slither out of the mob's shackles and eventually have to slink off into the shadows for the sake of his son?

Boy, Miss Katherine Chancellor certainly showed her true uncaring colors to J.T., didn't she? I know she just wants to spare her granddaughter any undue heartbreak, but how casually she suggested Brittany simply give away her little bun after she's ejected him from her easy bake oven. And does she really think a man who would turn his back on his own child simply because he doesn't feel like being a father just then is the kind of man her beloved granddaughter deserves? A man who presumably just didn't feel like putting on protection either. Shame on Kay. I guess she didn't learn a darn thing from her self-serving choice to dump her own offspring on someone else's charitable doorstep.

Unaware their breadcrumb trail is being followed closely by one each of their parents and bounty hunter, Nick, and appearing to be having the time of their young lives, the runaways continue to rack up the miles separating them from the comforts and consequences of home. As the days drag by, it's looking less and less likely a CSI-like team is going to come to the runaway's rescue. And since Cassie squandered her only shot at blowing away the fog surrounding the accident, it's going to be up to Daniel to recall what really occurred. I don't see any hypnotists standing at the ready, so Daniel will have to do this one alone. That means it's about time for him to start having pieces and bits of flashbacks, either asleep or awake (isn't that how it's usually done?) until he finally figures out who was really careening that car erratically over the road. Of course his remembrance will only go a third of the way toward winning this battle. They'll still have to make their way back to the civilized society of Genoa City and convince the unbelieving Nick of the truth of Daniel's tale. That could be when Genoa City's version of CSI steps in to substantiate his story. And then after that, the multiple platters of unpalatable crow can be carried in and served to all who richly deserve it.

Meanwhile, although Victoria has yet to officially gather the Newman reins into her manicured hands, she's already hinting at showing Phyllis the shortest route to the unemployment office the moment she returns. Of course, we all know that will never happen. As always, I expect Phyllis the feline will land safely on all four paws. In fact, in an effort to make up for everything Nick wrongfully accused she and her son of being and doing, she could even wind up with a promotion.

After all the many times Dru has insisted she loves Devon like a son, both we and Devon can now clearly measure the difference between actually being a son and being just like one. Kind of like almost having time for him. The only words coming from her loud little mouth are the one that shout out Lily, Lily, wherefore art thou Lily? Devon might as well find something else besides his foster family to fill his time. And resign himself to the fact that he won't be just like a son again until Dru's real daughter comes back home. I can't wait to see what Devon discovers when he locates his birth Mommy. Although I have a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach that says she won't be greeting her long-gone son with open welcoming arms.

So Ashley and Brad are officially ex's. Huh?? And that happened exactly when? Oh well, who cares? She's free. Free to be the prize in a tug of war contest between Tom and Paul. Funny how Ashley was so quick to want Paul to investigate Gloria, since "what do we really know about this woman anyway", but wasn't interested in having him ransack Tom's hope chest to see whether any clattering skeleton bones were buried inside.

But not having to leave town to dig up dirt on Tom will leave Paul plenty of time and opportunity to whisk Ashley away before Tom can get his hooks securely in place. I still don't care for Ashley but it was nice to see her without that sour frown on her face for a change. I have to agree with Michael. Paul is definitely a bit of a dull boy, but I found him and Ashley at least tolerable together. And just about any romantic prospect would make better watching than a return to her obsolete obsession with Victor.

While I'm on the subject of secretive things buried six feet beneath the muddy ground, what ace does Tom have up his shiny suit sleeve? I haven't forgotten John's question to Gloria whether there was anything at all that still needed to be brought into the light of day? Does Gloria only think she's divorced from Tom the Terrible? Did he just leave one day and she never bothered to make their trial separation a permanent one? Obviously she didn't have Ashley's access to one of those quickie divorce lawyers. At the moment, I can't think of too much else that would completely destroy the marital magic she's now enjoying. Can you?

Why our precocious little Abby is just a regular little Dear Abigail isn't she? She ought to be collecting a salary the way she just fixes everyone right up. In a matter of mere days she's managed to bring an indulgent grin to Victor's usually grim visage and presented him with a handmade Koala bear to sit right next to the remarkably life-like Rec Center horse she constructed. For Sharon, she's practically brought Cassie back to life by being "just like Cassie" at that age. And thanks to her, Noah got a trip to the zoo with his Mother instead of dutifully being dragged there by Miguel. Why when she's around, one just smiles and smiles until one's facial muscles are aching. I bet it's only a matter of time before Victoria is hugging the stuffing out of her new little sister too.

And lastly, the planning of the Baldwin-Fenmore nuptials is going like gangbusters. Gloria is in hog heaven, some of which is undoubtedly due to her renewed relationship with John, but is also having the time of her life jotting down to do lists for the big day. Kevin is delighted to be his brother's best man. And how wonderful it must be for Lauren to be marrying a man whose mother actually adores her (so unlike the relationship she didn't enjoy with the always moue mouthed Mother Mary Williams). The engagement ring is back on Lauren's finger and she is as excited as everyone else at the coming celebration. But was it just me seeing and hearing things that weren't seen nor heard, or did other fans find Lauren a bit too quick with her protest that no out of town guests need be invited? She's acting as if she has something to hide. But what could it be? I'm sure I need not wonder long. Because we are surely going to find out soon.

Okay I've said all I wanted. Your turn, fans.

* * * * * * *


LINDA C - Am getting tired of Lily and Daniel running. And every time I see Dru I have to hit the mute button. Also with J.T. and Mac. Tired of J.T.s singing already. And at the risk of being declared insane I still love Nick and hope he will come back down to earth soon. Didn't want to feel sympathy for Devon but I do. If you ever decide to start a line for people to slap Dru silly please let me be first in line. I still don't like Lauren with Michael, haven't liked her since she messed with Traci, Danny, Chris, Paul, and just about everyone on the show. She is no saint and I can't buy her act of being sooooooo sweet.

CHRIS - I laughed so hard re: the feed back on J.T./Mac, I can't stand her. They took an exciting wholesome character and made him a wimp. I used to love J.T. now I mostly hit the ff buttom every time they appear. I also agree she looks too old for him. I want the Daniel and Lily thing to play out I don't want them caught anytime soon. The show should use them to inform teens about dangers just like they used Lily before in her past storylines.

MACARENA - So Lily and Devon are Dru and Neil redux, only sweeter. I feel for Devon, but he has no life; he's fixated on Lily's. His every conversation with Sierra is about how wrong Daniel is for Lily. Why did Ashley have to observe Abby's visit with Victor, jealousy? Of COURSE she didn't know about the Cassie koala: it was a clever idea, and therefore not Ashley's! Poor Tom: he had to work out in his wifebeater because otherwise Ashley would have snubbed him. She was wrong to insist he work out when he wasn't dressed for it and it was her childish reaction to Gloria.

KRIS - I couldn't resist again this time to write. Tuesday on Y&R, the Winters were in their living room whining about poor Lily. Devon comes home and goes in his room. Next thing you know, Dru is reading a note on the refrigerator from Devon saying he left for a while. Here's the part. How pray tell did Devon leave the apartment? Did he "morph" away or what? He would have had to walk right past Neil and Dru to leave and they didn't see him put the note on the refrigerator? They were sitting right there! They must have secret escape routes in the Winters' apartment or lots of back doors.

MARIE-CLAIRE - I'm a Lauren fan and I see you don't know this character. If she didn't have her ring, she certainly had an excellent. And don't worry, Lauren wants Michael. Michael's past isn't perfect and I'm sure he hides too some things to Lauren. Lauren and Michael are made for each other. They have great chemistry. Lauren is made very much for him and he would make better to not forget that.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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