It's hard to believe, but this is scheduled to be All My Children's very last May Sweeps. Gee, Dan, what a rousing introduction to your Two Scoops column. I'm not trying to be a downer -- trust me. It just seems unfathomable that our show is coming to an end. If there is any good news to be found in all of this, it's that the show is definitely rolling out some interesting, exciting, and emotional storylines. We've still got more than a month to go before Lorraine Broderick's material hits the airwaves, but until then, let's support the stories that are playing out. Some of them are very, very good.
I'd like to think that in the 16 years of running this website, I've been open and honest with all of you. For example, I've been very forthcoming with all of you about my disdain for cutesy child actors. Love children. Hate child actors. Before you come up with nasty derivatives of my last name to harpoon me for saying that, let me remind you that I have, every now and again, confessed to actually liking a child actor or their storyline. That's not the case this week.
For whatever reason, I've never quite taken to the new actress who plays Emma. It may just be that I adored little Lucy Merriam, the pint-sized actress who played the role before AMC was uprooted and relocated (apparently for no good reason) to Los Angeles. She was good at being a brat. Nowadays, Emma doesn't evoke any sort of emotion from me even after all the crap that she's gone through.
Okay, that's not entirely true. I love the fact that Emma is giving Greenlee a hard time. It tickled me to see Greenlee wagging her finger as a closed elevator door, barking orders for Emma to get her little behind out of the elevator toute de suite. It wasn't all that long ago that I was rooting for little Kate/Kathy Martin when she was trying to inflict bodily harm on Krystal. I'm sure both of these scenarios say an awful lot about the way my mind works, but so be it. There will be plenty of time after September to analyze my brain. Maybe ABC can create a special reality show to help me.
Back on topic, I'm not sure what Ryan and Greenlee can do to help Emma. She's obviously hurting, and she's too young to be able to fully understand everything that has happened. It's actually pretty sad -- and even sadder that AMC won't be on the air to have a rapidly aged Emma go nuts on all the townspeople who wronged her and her mother over the years.
While we're still discussing things that need some professional help, I cannot for the life of me figure out why Kendall has chosen to put herself in harm's way to out Ricky as a thief and murderer. I understand that she wants to make Ricky pay, but let's get grounded in reality for just a moment. Ricky is a guy who allegedly concocted a plot to bring down an airplane, and he strangled his partner-slash-lover, Diana, in a way that pinned her murder on Griffin Castillo. And Kendall thinks she can take him down? Kendall couldn't even elude the police when she was on the lam for a murder that she confessed to but didn't commit. It was wholly uncomfortable to watch Kendall in her pseudo-romance with Ricky. If she somehow ends up falling for Ricky, I am going to have to "unfriend" Kendall.
At least Kendall isn't going this alone. She's roped Ryan and Bianca into the plot as well. Technically, I think Bianca strong-armed her way in, but that's another issue entirely. Bianca needs to find something to do in order to keep herself from mooning over Marissa -- and if catching the bad guy can do that, I'm all for it. I know, I know. A lot of you have probably frowned up your face or pursed your lips at my opposition to a "Minx" coupling. It's not that I don't want Bianca to find someone to love. It's really not. I want Bianca to find someone who isn't confused, who doesn't have torn loyalties, and who loves her unconditionally.
Is that woman the chick from Chandler that JR tried to fix Bianca up with? I have no idea. We barely got to know her, but she seemed nice enough. All I know is that Pine Valley is a decent-sized town, and I am sure there is someone out there who can make Bianca happy. If, in the end, Bianca's soul mate turns out to be Marissa... I'll grudgingly go along with it. For right now, though, I want her to keep looking.
As much as we don't want to think about the possibility that All My Children will go off the air for good in September, I have to say that Erica's kidnapping would have provided a great way to have closure for some of the show's stories. What got me thinking that? The scrapbook Erica's kidnapper gave her.
I was really expecting a barrage of memory montages and video clips as Erica strolled down memory lane. General Hospital had flashbacks during Luke's intervention. Why couldn't we see any old episodes of Erica and her many husbands? Heck, Jay Leno trotted out a black-and-white clip from 1970 that showed Erica proclaiming, " I wanna be special, and I'm going to be." But I guess we'll be seeing plenty of flashbacks as All My Children makes its way to the finish line.
The scrapbook provided Erica with the perfect It's A Wonderful Life moment. She could have reflected on how her life could have been had she made different decisions. What if Erica hadn't taken the pill when she was involved with Tom? What if Erica hadn't been attracted to Adam Chandler's power? What if Dimitri and Erica were still waltzing in the stately Vadzel castle in Hungary? I won't go into too many "what ifs" because that was the title of last week's column, and I don't want anyone thinking that this column is a rerun.
Erica's kidnapper won't be revealed until May 12, but already the list of suspects has reached double digits. I won't list all of the captor candidates that readers have submitted, but I will share three that have been offered up more than the others: Mike Roy, Dimitri Marick, and Asher Pike.
As I prepare to sign off on this week's column, here is an interesting question for you: Remember that video that Jack was watching of Erica doing the television interview? You know, the one that looked eerily reminiscent of Larry King's old talk show. Didn't the interviewer sound an awful lot like Erica's kidnapper? So was that an old interview? Was that archived footage with a new voiceover by the kidnapper? Or is there something much more nefarious involved?
Throughout this week's column, I mention All My Children going off the air in September. For now, that's what the official word is. If you are not happy with that, now's the time to speak up. Visit our special Support Our Soaps mini-site at soapcentral.com/sos. Call the network. Call your local ABC affiliate. Are you someone who doesn't fall into that coveted 18-49 female demographic? Contact an advertiser and tell them that you're a soap opera viewer and a consumer who uses their product, and urge them to support quality, scripted daytime dramas.
I don't want to envision millions of soap fans sitting in a room with a scrapbook of their own wondering, "What if...?"