Welcome to the Two Scoops Eye on Fashion Edition, where we will sort out the Quinn, sin, Seine, and sane of what happened this week. Viewers were treated to secrets kept, secrets exposed, secrets fabricated, and even secrets self-imposed. The glamorous citizens of Los Angeles took leaps of hypocrisy and leaps of gall so fast that we need a news outlet to keep up with it all. Hold up your bowls and get a helping of this Two Scoops edition, Eye on Fashion style.
This week, the best place to turn to keep up with the L.A. fashion kingdom is within the pages of Eye on Fashion, where you'll find the latest news, fashion advice, and social scene gossip live. While Bill and Liam have been babysitting their broken hearts, Jarrett Maxwell's been spilling all the Spencer/Forrester business between the pages of the magazine. Section by section, we'll take a look at the headlines.
So how do you pronounce it? A trip to Google will tell you that the Seine's pronunciation is a worldwide dilemma right up there with world peace, and it has created warring continental factions in America, the UK, Australia, and France.
Ivy, Pam, and Bill say "sane," and Hope pronounces it "sen." Who's right? To find out how to pronounce it, I went to the world's most authoritative source on how to do stuff -- YouTube. Here's a tip if you look it up. Search for the way the French pronounce it, or else you'll discover videos of worldwide know-it-alls who think they're correct, but they are really spreading the Seine pronunciation ignorance.
A view of a video teaching French gave me the answer, and it looks like the Hope wins it. The French pronounce the country's river as "sen," like the word "send" without the last letter. I can back YouTube up because I took French in high school and college, which is why my ears burned when Bill hollered "sane" at Quinn every thirty seconds. It's ironic that Bill was saying that Quinn had thrown Ivy into the "sane," when really, it's the "insane" Quinn had thrown Ivy into, because anyone trying to join a Lope triangle is crazy.
See. Even Bu knows Wyatt, Liam, and Hope have no idea how to raise a cat, let alone any children. I suspect Wyatt has lied about his allergy in a bid to be the only male in Hope's life. Deacon had better watch out because Wyatt might find a way to edge him out, too. Either that or Wyatt has taken a leap of allergy-suffering self-denial so that Hope can be a part-time mother to Bu.
It must be hard on Bu, shuffled from home to home, and Liam doesn't enjoy being the Bu bus driver. He told Ivy that he didn't want to take the cat to the beach house, and in Liam's sickeningly inoffensive way, he tried to stand up for himself and Bu by saying he'd take the cat full-time.
Hope wasn't having it. She must have her husband at the beach house and her true loves together at the cliff house. Hope is being unfair to all three males in her life with this one.
Firstly, no one told Bu that if he wasn't at the Eiffel Tower at three o'clock, Hope would move on without him. Bu was perfectly happy at Grandma Brooke's mansion, where he could live in a cabin on the grounds if he wanted to. He had caterers, maids, and probably a nanny. Brooke loves to get nannies. Remember Amber babysitting teenagers? Bu had the life before Wyatt.
Secondly, it's unfair of Hope to expect Liam to arrive at her new home to drop off a feline he knows Wyatt couldn't care less about and be forced to witness the marital bliss he'd been planning to have with her for years.
And what about Wyatt? Maybe he does have allergies, and he's been holding back nasal explosions as Bu tromps in all the wrong places on his lap. How fair is it to have the cat in and out of the house, leaving dander and fur each time he goes? For Hope's sake, Wyatt might be hiding the secret that his allergies could kill him if his throat swells up.
Of course if Wyatt is faking, I hope Bu pees in his shoes and kicks kitty litter in Wyatt's face each time Bu goes home with Liam.
The words "spoiled, self-entitled, greedy, covetous, and selfish" sprang to mind when I heard Wyatt's proposal that Bill get Liam to swap houses with the newlyweds. Even though, I do have to admit that Wyatt was endearing when he said to Hope, "We're married -- I was kinda thinking about kids" She couldn't help but give him the "oh, you're so cute" look. And I did, too -- until I smacked myself in the face and remembered that Wyatt has the "marketing effect" on people.
Wyatt could probably sell Ivy's fateful Pont d'Lena Bridge back to France without them knowing he stole it. Not kidding. It's in Eye on Fashion's classifieds section right now. He makes microwave pizza and bag-o-salad sound like a gourmet labor of love. Even though he's out to get what he wants, he somehow makes it seem like it's actually what you want, and if that doesn't work, his plan B is the sing-songy "I just have good intentions" voice and his doe eyes that get him his way.
Proof that Wyatt does not have good intentions surfaces within backhanded comments like: "Ivy wouldn't have drowned" and gift-bearing comments like: "You're moving. I assume you heard." As far as who heard is concerned, it might have been nice if Hope had heard before Liam and Bill. But this is also Wyatt's way. He sets up all the rows in the rat maze, and Hope blindly follows his cheese trails down to his inevitable conclusion.
It happened with the diamond gift when he cornered Hope into accepting it before the world and when he called a meeting to nominate her for the lingerie line without even asking if she wanted to do it first. It happened with each surprise camping trip where she had to leave with him straight from the Forrester parking lot when she'd probably been planning to soak her heels in the tub after work.
Nothing is wrong with trips and adventure, but something is a little off about Wyatt constantly planning "surprises" for Hope and then springing them on her after it's pretty much a fait accmpli. Lord knows Hope goes along like a child holding any adult's hand, and trips are enjoyable. The messes she gets into for following Wyatt's lead, though... they aren't always so fun.
I'm surprised Wyatt's doe eyes and sing-songy tone worked on Bill, who supposedly admired Wyatt for being a self-made Spencer after Bill's own heart. I expected Bill to flare his nose and bellow that Wyatt was a grown man with a wife and a diamond, and he could surely afford his own house. I expected Bill to ask if Wyatt hadn't thought he'd taken enough from Liam already.
Yeah, yeah, I forgot. Hope's a prize that Wyatt claims Liam lost fair and square. Finders keepers, losers weepers, and all that. Wyatt and Liam each treat Hope like the diamond -- a prized thing.
The truth is that Bill gave out the houses. It's Bill's choice who gets what house, and Liam was there first. It's poor form for Bill to un-give a house. And frankly, Bill should have told Wyatt that his request was greedy, and since Wyatt didn't appreciate the house given to him, he could return the keys to Bill and have no house at all. That's what my father would have done, and Bill needs to get a handle on Wyatt's greed before Wyatt sends movers over to Will's place to house-swap with him, too.
What really puzzles me is that Bill doles out houses, but he has no house of his own. Where does Bill live? Bill said the other day that he and Liam could watch the game at Bill's place. What place is that? If you have an idea, let me know.
Wyatt's leap of gall has its roots in a conversation that Wyatt had with Quinn after he'd returned from visiting Liam at Spencer a year ago. Remember when he told Quinn that he deserved what Liam had, that yoga boy hadn't earned it and didn't deserve it, and it was Wyatt's birthright? Remember when Wyatt said that Liam was standing in the way of him getting what he wanted, including the girl? It took Wyatt a year to get the girl. Now he's on to everything else of Liam's.
While Bill is at it, he might want to make sure he has a right to evict Liam's in the first place. In February 2012, Bill told Liam that he'd transferred the deed to the cliff house into Liam's name."You can't just walk away from this place. You know, I did transfer the title to you," Bill had told Liam. See what I mean about blindly following Wyatt's lead?
Bill had probably done it to get back into Liam's good graces after Blood Clot Gate. Liam needs to get Justin to dig up the deed. It would be priceless for Wyatt to pull up with a trailer full of junk and Liam to unscroll a mile-long deed with his name at the bottom of it. "
Maybe Liam should get his own place. Maybe he should be more independent. But Wyatt coveting his brother's fiancée and house is ratchet. Wyatt covets more than that, too. He covets Liam's dreams. "You can't see a bunch of kids having breakfast at that table or running around in that backyard?" Wyatt asked Liam this week.
Uh, yeah, Liam can see that. He'd dreamed of it. It's all he'd seen when he'd been landscaping and remodeling the house for his family with Hope. It's all he'd seen when he found that pharmacy receipt on his porch, and it's all he'd thought about when Hope said she pictured parenting kids -- not a cat -- with Liam. And it's also all Liam had thought about when Steffy miscarried the baby, and Hope was rushing him to get over it or else she'd keep sucking face with Wyatt.
And speaking of the backyard on the cliff house... It's a sheer cliff with at least a two-hundred-foot drop. Amber almost died out there. How is that house perfect for raising children?
It seems that Wyatt is taking a wide berth with his non-DNA-tested position in the Spencer family, and he wants to box up Liam and Bu for storage as he takes their places in Bill and Hope's lives. If Wyatt wins this battle, Liam's job might be next -- oh, wait. That would mean he can't micromanage Hope's every move and career at Forrester, so maybe Liam's job is safe -- until Hope is at home, barefoot and pregnant, that is.
It's amazing that, on this show, international governments do not give a damn when prominent world citizens almost drown in their waters. Things like this matter to Charlie, who's the only being on the show besides Deacon that continues to smell Quinn's evil perfume in the vicinity of mysterious misdeeds. Quinn is smug and brazen, patting herself on the back for her antics and ability to talk Bill into going along with her. She had no idea that Charlie's the man who holds her fate in his hands.
Charlie doesn't have much to do during the jewelry designing transition, especially now that the diamond is on tour. With Quinn out of the building, he's really bored. He must have missed Quinn and longed for the action she brought to his job. His gut longed for her, and he couldn't let go of the acid-reflux feeling that Quinn had had something to do with Ivy's fall.
All Charlie had needed was a dry-erase board, some cut-out photos of Quinn, and a little of Pam's yarn to create a crime board and solve the mystery of Ivy in the Seine. Charlie was thinking like a true detective, and he has contacts all over the world. He used them to access customs records and closed-circuit television video footage from Charles De Gaulle and in and around the Eiffel Tower. He proved conclusively that the wet-Berber-rug-lying Quinn had shoved Ivy off the bridge.
Deacon is just as good a detective, so I got to thinking. Between Deacon's savvy tech skills, Charlie's contacts, and each man's keen eyes for investigation, Charlie and Deacon need to go into the crime-solving business. I'm sure there are some crimes and mysteries that scoopers want to see solved.
For example, I'd like the see the mystery solved of what happened to some of the plots that got dropped right out of the blue -- like Deacon's proposal to Brooke or Quinn holding a gun on Deacon. Or how about the investigation into Ricardo's death? Did R.J. stab himself with the baby sword and die? Where are Will and Donna? What did Rupert think of Ridge slashing the seatbelts out of his chopper?
I want some older mysteries solved. What happened to Rick trying to design? Where the hell did Taylor go when she walked out of Eric's house after exposing Brooke's pregnancy and stayed gone for years? What in the world was Ridge doing in Paris? What makes Stephanie's portrait pop off the wall?
And the biggest mysteries for me are the disappearance of the entire Marone family and Clarence. Inquiring minds want to know. What mysteries, crimes, or forgotten plots do you scoopers want solved or revisited? Submit some inquiries because Deacon needs a job.
Isn't it an odd side effect of Hope's nuptials that suddenly she isn't the center of all the parties and festivities? Rick rushes through a hail of photographers to get into the Bikini Bar for the last summer party while Hope's at home, moping worse than she did when she stared at a pregnancy test box. The Forrester family and employees gather at the mansion for a barbeque, but the newlyweds weren't invited and didn't even know about it.
It's a stark change from Hope planning Ridge's homecoming party, and before anyone thinks it's logical that Ivy wouldn't want to invite Hope and Hope wouldn't want to attend, Hope is supposedly Ivy's boss. Both women put up this front that they need to get along, and Hope has decreed that Liam and Wyatt will get along. There's nothing like getting along at a party.
Don't think Hope didn't notice her missing invitation. Her tight lips twitched as she put on her fake politeness to ask Ivy how the party had gone. "So I heard you had party. Who was there? Was Liam there?" Hope wanted to know.
Hope went on to offer unsolicited and unwanted advice to Ivy about how to handle Hope's ex-lover with care. Ivy's response to Hope went something like, "Dauh, Hope. Let him go. Why are you sweating Liam, Hope? Let him go. Aren't you married, Hope?"
Hope claims that she will always care about Liam, and she's protecting Liam. That's when I had to put the video on pause, and I dug back into the archives because I could have sworn I heard something about someone trying to protect an ex before. Ah, there it is. These are the exact words that came out of Liam's mouth each and every time he told Hope something about Quinn and Wyatt.
How many times did Hope listen to Liam when he tried to tell her to watch out for Quinn or that Wyatt had an agenda to break them up? How many times did Hope heed the warnings when he told her to slow her roll with Wyatt? None.
In fact, Hope took a leap of faith, springing off a leap of mistrust of Liam when Liam was late to the tower. Who talks about faith when they just showed no faith five minutes earlier? Hope disappeared on Liam and married his brother within a nanosecond, but she tells Wyatt and Ivy that Liam needs time to recover before taking a leap Down Under.
"He's been on a treadmill with me for years!" Hope exclaimed as if that was a good reason for Liam not to catapult into a decent relationship. He's not getting any younger, Hope. Neither are you.
I'd like people to hold Wyatt's cardboard cutout of Hope up when she speaks, so she can give her advice to herself. Liam might go on a couple dates and end his one-year booty-call dry spell. Hope got married, and now her hubby is talking children -- something that terrified her a few months ago. In this case, whose business should Hope tend to more, hers or Liam's?
The kicker is hearing the question that Hope asked Wyatt as he was probably wishing he could drown in his champagne rather than hear his new wife talk about her ex. "What kind of woman pursues a man after he's just gone through the kind of breakup that we had? It just makes me question her character. Liam's vulnerable right now. Don't you think that makes her seem a little opportunistic?"
After Hope said it, Wyatt looked exposed as the day Hope had photographed him in the woods. You switch around a few pronouns, and suddenly it spells out what Wyatt did twice in the last year. Wyatt tried to conclude the conversation by saying that he understood Hope's feelings because he cared about Liam and wanted to protect Liam, too.
What? Huh? But, Wyatt, you caused the problem -- and now you want Liam's -- oh, never mind. Wasting my breath. I do find it interesting that Wyatt also said he didn't want to talk about Liam while in his home with his wife -- but Wyatt wants to move into Liam's home with the wife? Okay. Hope and Wyatt cooed about their leap of faith together, but after that conversation, it sounds more like a leap of hypocrisy.
This week, Rick tried to be cutesy by showing Eric a tee shirt with "0" written on the back. Rick said it signified the number of designs Rick had seen from Ridge. Rick needs to show that same shirt to Maya to illustrate to her the number of chances she has with him.
Rick's a good husband. He's fighting off the gold-digger with everything he's got. Carter's a good ex-fiancé. He's fighting the urge to knock Maya off the roof for her leap of gall with him. Carter cannot stand the air that Maya breathes, but he manages to hold it together through conversations with her. Maya's tail was up, and she was sleuthing for any crack to slip in between Caroline and Rick.
Maya quizzed Carter about Rick's marriage as if Carter just got his marriage counseling degree in the mail. Are they having sex, using condoms or birth control, and does Caroline have an ovulation kit? Carter guessed Maya didn't respect marriages, and she retorted that she didn't respect Caroline's. Maya warned that Caroline had better watch out for Myrna.
Carter might as well get his online counseling degree. He correctly diagnosed Maya as a classless gold-digger and advised her to stop embarrassing herself twerking on Rick. Carter should have added that he makes good money with his fine self, and she's borderline Quinn-crazy for calling herself Myrna.
Carter didn't dissuade Maya, who sat back drinking regular old water, thirsting over her raggedy hair days on Rodeo Drive with Rick. The ironic part of it is that during those times, Maya hadn't known about his bank account, and she'd broken up with him upon learning that he could buy her the world. I guess Myrna didn't miss her water until her well ran dry.
Storylines like Ridge struggling to design had once been a main staple of the show, and I am overjoyed to see such drama return. Rick is pressuring Ridge to spit out designs. Ridge's hand won't do what his mind commands of it. Ridge can see the designs taunting him in his head, but stick figures appear on paper. Caroline, a bigger Stan of Ridge's than Aly is of Hope, has obsessed over his technique. Their hands glide together, and designs explode onto the page. Only he can teach her, and only she can save him. Will they save the couture collection before they combust into passionate flames?
That's the stuff of a good romance novel and Myrna's dreams. She can't wait to use Ridge's scrap designs as kindling for Katie's slow-burning jealousy. No doubt Ridge has a plan. He's going to use the naïve Caroline's crush on his career to save his collection. What he doesn't realize is that naïve, Caroline is not, and the more of his secret craft he reveals to her, the more he empowers her to eclipse him as a designer.
There's nothing more romantic than watching an artist creating, and Brooke described it best to Katie when Brooke said it was an obsession. Brooke knows, too, because she found herself pulling her clothes back on plenty of times while working with Ridge. I have a feeling that just like with Brooke, if Caroline drops her panties, Ridge will tell her to put them back on and get back to work.
Caroline had better stop giggling and awing at the synergy of Ridge's force coursing through her and wake up to the fact that Maya and Katie are giving her the stink-eye. This collaboration hits right at the heart of Katie's insecurities -- that other women get chosen over her, and Maya is a predator ready to use Katie's insecurities to get Caroline out of her marriage to Rick.
Rick is looking for any reason to get rid of Ridge. Don't let that whole grateful that Ridge is breathing song and dance Rick did after the chopper fall fool you. Rick wants Ridge on a rocket back to Paris, and if Maya can convince Rick that Ridge is hitting on Caroline, that rocket just might be Rick's fist.
We can all recall the heavyweight fights Rick and Ridge used to have back in the day. Fights over Phoebe, Steffy, Taylor, and Brooke. Rick is probably the only male character before Bill that could make Ridge lose his mind. Well, wait. Thorne shot Ridge in the head. I guess that counts. Rick is also the only one that can drive a wedge between Brooke and Ridge, too. Good times. Here's to hoping they can refuel the Rick and Ridge feud.
The ad above was in the back of Eye on Fashion with a picture of Brooke and Katie at lunch together. Katie was all humble and full of tears. Brooke was all squinty-eyed, waiting for Katie to drop some bomb, because that seems to be the only reason Katie speaks her sister lately. I half-expected Brooke to bust out and say, "There's no wedding for you or Ridge to break up today, so see you later."
Are you sitting down for this? Katie invited Brooke to lunch. Sure did. The move perplexed Brooke, but she's been getting all kinds of wacky requests recently, like the one to marry Deacon.
Katie admitted she's been crank-calling and hanging up the phone on Brooke. Brooke continued to squint her eyes and say, "This is -- this is kind of weird. This is very awkward." Katie revealed that she hangs up the line because she's calling her best friend, but her best friend is Brooke. Katie misses her sister and her best friend, so she decided to stop hanging up in Brooke's face. At that point, Brooke was probably thinking, "Oh, so that wasn't Deacon with his number blocked ."
Heather Tom and Katherine Kelly Lang sold it. I believe they want to reconcile -- today, that is. Who knows about tomorrow? Katie was stunning through her tears, and so was the lavender-wearing Brooke. It was an adult conversation that the viewers have been starving for. Katie's finally admitted to having Ridge problems, something Brooke had told her sister was bound to happen. Katie went to the right place for advice, though. The only person that knows Ridge the artist intimately is Brooke, with whom Ridge has created a design dynasty over the years.
Katie and Brooke acknowledged that they loved each other and would always be sisters. I checked under the table while they were talking. Donna wasn't there. Donna's probably still traipsing around Genoa City in her panties, being her other personality, Grace Turner.
Katie opened up about how difficult it was to be supportive of Ridge when she didn't know what he needed. Brooke and Taylor will be the first people to tell Katie that Ridge has no problems getting what he needs, and the sources abound for a bachelor of his status. Maya is too basic to realize this, which is why she can't work in Charlie and Deacon's new detective agency.
Ridge's creative soul craves a muse or a competition. When one of those things is present, Ridge flourishes as a designer. Whether or not Eric's blood courses through Ridge's veins, Eric's designer spirit is unmistakably in Ridge's heart. Brooke explained to Katie that Ridge would always be consumed by his work, even once he recovers.
Brooke likened it to Bill's passion for work defining him. Katie's eyes glazed over at that point in reproach of all things Bill. But that's Katie's problem -- her refusal to listen to Brooke when Brooke tells her how to keep a man. Katie, be warned of what happened the last time you didn't take Brooke's advice about how to stroke your man.
As Katie worried that she couldn't be what Ridge needed her to be, Ridge was busily fashioning Caroline into what he needed. Caroline, however, quickly broke the first rule of the collaboration -- keeping it a secret. She blabbed it to Katie in one minute flat, and Katie tried to hide her envy that Caroline could give Ridge what Katie couldn't.
Eye on Fashion also touched upon Quinn's devil in leather look. She looks hot in leather, but I have to wonder if she actually is hot in the leather. If she is, you'd never know because Rena Sofer never seems to break a sweat as she bats wits with Don Diamont's Bill Spencer, who was looking so sexy this week with his bed hair and scruffy beard.
Maybe it's that leather outfit that makes Bill lose his mind and impose upon himself secrets that never belonged to him. At least he hasn't totally lost it. He has enough sense not to drink anything from the bottle of scotch Quinn gave him. It's probably laced with a zombie potion to make him hers forever -- same stuff she poured in Hope's champagne.
Thorsten Kaye seems to be wearing a new clean-cut look that pays homage to Ridge over the years, and it looks really good on him. All the actors and actresses on the show were simply glowing this week, and the younger generation was actually dressed appropriately. Hope even looked older, more adult. Go figure.
In conclusion, it was an action-packed week, and we can all look forward to the demise of Quinn. Will she take Bill down with her? The last thing she said on Friday was that nobody would find out "our" secret. Well, nobody Charlie just outted her in what will be a life-changing moment for Hope and Wyatt.
As things heat up on the design pad for Ridge, Katie, and Caroline, Katie won't have her best friend to lean on. Katherine Kelly Lang has taken a hiatus from the show to take a turn on Dancing With the Stars. During Lang's absence, Brooke will flee to the Milam office to escape all the insanity and ponder her life. Didn't even know Forrester had a Milan office.
Brooke leaves Bill smoldering in the L.A. heat, but he will have his hands full as the patriarch of the Spencer family. The sibling rivalry must come to a head at some point, and I predict that Bill will face real challenges as a result of his decisions regarding his sons. Brooke had better put a chastity belt on Bill, though, because Quinn will surely be peeping in his windows.
Thanks, everyone, for allowing me fill the guest Two Scoops spot this week. Until next time, in the famous words of Clarence, stay "Bold and Beautiful, baby!"
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