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 Two Scoops: February 28, 2011 columns
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Read this column in the event of my untimely demise
For the Week of February 28, 2011
Two Scoops is a weekly opinion column about all things All My Children. Check in every week to see if you agree or disagree with what our columnists have to say!
I'm sure over the years of writing this opinion column and reporting on the various ins and outs of the world of soaps, I've ticked off a few people. It certainly wasn't by design. However, I pray that there never comes a time when I need to leave a letter in an envelope marked "Open in the event of my untimely demise."

Zach Slater wasn't exactly a warm and cuddly guy. I know that there are a lot of you out there who would like to find out, but this is neither the time nor place to discuss that. So can I continue my opinionating now? Thanks. As I was saying, Zach was definitely a devoted husband and father, but his gruff demeanor made it hard for me to really root for him. Still, his presence is sorely missed in Pine Valley.

Need proof that AMC's executives feel the same way? If they didn't agree with my statement, Zach would be no more than an afterthought. Instead, he's been mentioned just about every day for the past three or four months. Though I have to imagine that if Zach really is dead -- we all know he's not, right? -- he's spinning in his grave with this oddball murder story. I've been following along here at home, but I am still at a loss to figure out why Zach was killed.

Reverend "Pretty" Ricky and his eye candy sidekick, Diana, bilked millions from Zach's casino? I mean, I doubt they turned the rolls of toilet paper to "under" instead of "over" in the casino's guest suites. I'm not looks-ist, but it seems that soaps typecast criminals based on what their crimes are. Sure, good-looking people commit crimes all the time. However, on the soaps, you usually need to have a crazy eye, a hook for an appendage, or wear wigs and talk to yourself in order to be a criminal.

I'm not sure whether to be annoyed or applaud AMC for casting Eddie Matos as Ricky. So many of you wrote in when he made his first appearance to say that you enjoyed the chemistry between Kendall and Ricky so much more than you did the forced pairing of Kendall and Griffin. So for that, I have to give a hearty cheer to AMC for screwing with our heads. I know that I wasn't thinking back then that Ricky might be a creep. But on the flip side, I'm a bit irked that all that chemistry is going to be wasted. Unless Ricky breaks a few more Commandments and somehow has Diana take the fall, I don't see any way that he's sticking around.

Of course, I didn't see any way that Ricky could so quickly whip up a fake letter from Zach (I call it a Zachument). So I suppose that anything is possible.

And another thing, why does everyone on the soaps push tea when something is wrong?

History repeats itself whether we want it to or not. It may not repeat itself on us, but somewhere, someone is experiencing something that we've experienced at sometime before. Soaps have been known to revisit and even rewrite history. When it's done right, playing off of past history can make for amazing story. When it's notů fans just get upset.

Thankfully, Michael E Knight has a storyline. I know that some of you commented on the great interactions Tad and Cara have shared, so it will be interesting to see where the storyline goes. This isn't the first green card marriage on AMC. Remember An-Li Chen and Brian Bodine? And it's certainly not the first marriage of convenience. Will Jake get jealous of the sham marriage and ditch Amanda for Cara? If so, where does that leave Chrishell Stause? Will Tad and Cara truly develop feelings for each other?

I like the idea that the writers crafted the Liza-slept-with-Damon story. I'd much rather have Liza sleep with her daughter's boyfriend than have Erica sleep with her daughter's boyfriend again. There's something about Colby that annoys me. I can't put my finger on it. I feel the same way about Chilly Willy, the cartoon penguin.

Unless you've been living under a rock or you're Amish -- in which case you have a lot of explaining to do about why you're on the Internet right now -- you've probably heard the rumblings about All My Children's uncertain future.

I am not going to be an alarmist. There are enough of those folks out there. Does All My Children need a little help? Sure. But we cannot turn our backs (or the channel) on the show. I enjoy poking a little fun at All My Children because I really do love the show. If I didn't care, I can assure you that I wouldn't write this column. I also rib the writers and executives because I know that AMC can be a top-notch show. I've seen it. I don't know if there is a desire to tick off all the fans so that they stop watching, but that seems silly. I suppose if all the viewers have moved on to other programming, there will be less backlash when a show is cancelled.

I prefer to think that the show just needs a new creative force. There are reports that AMC is still running over budget even after its big cross-country move. Here's the thing: why would someone who can't keep costs in check still be allowed to run a show? So either the budget story is made up or someone isn't doing their job. As for the writers, this is not intended an assessment of David Kreizman or Donna Swajeski's work. However, these two writers don't have AMC blood coursing through their veins. They don't have AMC genes in their DNA. In order for All My Children to flourish, the network needs to find writers, producers, directors, and an executive producer who eat, drink, breath, and sleep All My Children. Did we see what happened with AMC under Charles Pratt, Jr.? And look at how the show turned around under Lorraine Broderick. I'm sure there are countless folks out there who have a special place in their heart for all things Pine Valley. I have more ideas that I shared a few weeks ago in my "How to fix AMC" column -- click here to read that. Let's give some of them a call and give them a chance to restore the glory and put all those pesky cancellation rumors to rest once and for all.

dan

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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