B-B-B-Bad to the bone

For the Week of July 2, 2007
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B-B-B-Bad to the bone
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Okay, it's official. I hate Sam. I no longer find any redeeming quality in her. I'm done with Sam. Game over.

Okay, it's official. I hate Sam. I no longer find any redeeming quality in her. I'm done with Sam. Game over. The truth has finally been revealed this week, and it's ugly. That selfish twit SAW Baby Jake being kidnapped by grieving Mom Maureen and said and did nothing to prevent it. She didn't snatch the baby herself, but she knows who did and just sat by and watched while Jason, Lucky, and Liz were frantic to find him. Sam just dipped below Maxie on the Snake Scale.

When Sam visited Jason in jail and was melodramatically telling him that "the knife through her heart" was the fact that he lied to her, and didn't TRUST her, I was yelling at my TV "Of course he didn't trust you! You get drunk and flap your mouth about things all over town! What person in their right mind would trust you?" Not to mention the fact that she lied to him about her past for their entire relationship and never mentioned her 5 previous marriages and fake names, which he graciously didn't bring up to her.

If there is any justice, Jason will find out that Sam knew Jakes' whereabouts and stayed silent. I am rooting for Amelia, the more rotten things she thinks up to get even with Sam, the better. Sam is supposed to love Jason. When you love someone, you don't watch someone kidnap their baby and pretend you don't see it. Sam loves Sam, and no one but. Oh sure, she stood by Jason when he had a brain injury awhile back, but it was probably just the fear of losing her meal ticket that had her all wound up.

I was almost done with Sam the day she gave Jason the "If you and I aren't parents together we're through!" ultimatum, but I tried to cut her some slack. No more. Now I am fully over the edge. I realize there are many diehard Sam fans out there that will be really mad at me for trashing her, and they'll write me nasty letters, but guess what? I can live with that. I hate her.

On the other hand, there was a lot to love on GH this week. Robin and Patrick bicker a lot, and sometimes it just gets on my nerves. But this round was different. Their relationship matured because they realized what every couple who lasts any substantial length of time will tell you - you can have an honest difference of opinion, and still love one another. You can be on totally opposite sides of any issue and still respect the other persons' point of view.

It took them awhile to get to the same place. They went around in circles to arrive at the same destination, but they finally did it. It took a little soul searching - Patrick thought Robin asked his Dad to do surgery on her patient just to stick it to him because they were fighting, but when she explained her reasons, and he had the chance to think it through - he realized she had a reason to make the choice she did. He admitted to her that it pushed his buttons and that the rivalry he feels with Noah was underlying, and they came to a happy conclusion, even though they didn't see eye to eye. That's okay. There are Democrats married to Republicans. (See my Governor Arnold and his lovely wife Maria.) There are Catholics married to Jews. (Okay, the only one I can come up with is Bridget Loves Bernie which is a fictional sitcom couple from the 70's, but hey, you get the idea.) There are people come from different backgrounds and different worlds who fall in love and learn to work through the occasional riff. That's what mature love looks like.

Then again, there are people who are drawn to someone, like say Kate is to Sonny, but then they get a scary glimpse of that person's dark side, and, they flee. Apparently for Kate, the packaging was more appealing than what was inside. Kate has been hovering around Sonny for weeks, but when she wandered in on him doing his Mob thing and threatening to kill someone, the reality was a bit much for her. She started calling realtors to sell her house. Hearing someone is in the Mob and seeing the ugliness of it face to face are very different things. When Kate called Carly to warn her that Sonny was about to kill her brother-in-law, Carly told her if she couldn't handle what Sonny did for a living, she should get out now, and it's the first time they've ever agreed.

The other odd bedfellows this week are Lulu and Tracy who are working together to spring Tracy from the mental hospital by blackmailing Scotty. (By the way, when Sonny said Scotty's name this week, the way his spit the name out of his mouth made it sound like an insult. : ) Logan is Scott's long lost son (as we long ago predicted) but Scott doesn't believe it. When he was going on and on about what a great Dad he was, I wanted Tracy to ask him where Serena is, if he's so crazy about her? She was born in 1993, so that would not make her 14 or so now, but we haven't seen hide nor hair of her since Scott arrived. Of course, all soap kids come and go. Molly and Kristina are phantoms, Alexis barely even mentions them anymore. Lila Rae hasn't been since Lorenzo bit the dust. As I mentioned last week, Spencer hasn't been seen since the kidnapping. Baby Jake is all the rage right now, but I suspect he won't get much airtime after he's home and the secret is out about his true paternity. Michael and Morgan are on screen more than most, and probably because Dylan Cash is such a fabulous little actor they'd be insane not to use him. Not to mention that little George Juarez as Morgan is taking ad lib lessons from Tony Geary.

Speaking of Michael and Morgan, I thought Carly would pee her pants when she walked in and found Jerry all cuddled up on her sofa with her kids. Now here's where it gets fuzzy for me. Why wasn't her very first move to pick up the phone and call Jax's cell phone and say "Hey Jax, would you believe that your psycho brother is sitting on my couch?" But, instead she called Jason which only served as an opportunity for him to take his shirt off after Carly got them locked in the boiler room. Which begs the question - do brand new state of the art hotels even HAVE boilers anymore? Methinks not. Are we to believe that the Metro Court is burning coal and running a furnace in the heat of summer? And why isn't Jax, 'Mr. Organic Juices' using Green Energy? Didn't anyone on Port Charles see An Inconvenient Truth? And, I can't complain too much, Jason without a shirt is worth suspending my disbelief at the reason he became shirtless.

I doubt Sam is going to see Jason with his shirt off anytime soon, since he just discovered that Sam is refusing to let Liz and Lucky make a plea on Everyday Heroes, you know, that hit TV show with a national audience of millions that's produced in some suburb. Amelia was very busy this week, carelessly leaving her plain manila folder laying around which spills its contents anytime anyone looks at it. So now Alexis, Sonny, Jason, Sam, the camera crew, and God knows who else have all the photos and evidence of Sam's sordid past. Amelia is so happy she will probably have to celebrate by banging Sonny in his desk again. It appears to be her only pastime. Of course her last efforts were thwarted when Kate set off Sonny's fire alarm to spoil the mood.

Kate got her own one on one with Sonny by dropping some diamonds in a grate - again, what sort of hotel has floor grates where someone could lose a giant diamond necklace? I stay in hotels quite frequently and can't for the life of me come up with one. Anyway, it gave Sonny and Kate the chance to touch, so again, I'll play along with the crappy set up if it brings the desired payoff. She may be afraid of Sonny, but she's hot for him, too. Let's see if fear or lust wins out.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Tracy's blackmail against Scott free her, and get Ghost Alan back to his favorite chair? Will Amelia go to visit Kate and slip through the grate in the hotel floor? Will Jerry get Carly all hot and bothered when *he* disrobes in the boiler room? Will Maxie ever convince Lucky (or anyone else) that she is sincere about anything? Will Lulu give Logan pity sex and break Spinelli's heart? Will Jake come back as a 1 year old and accidentally call Jason "Dada"? Will we ever see Georgie and Dillon again, or have they been abducted by aliens? Will people stop going to Sonnybucks for their morning mochas when they realize fistfights break out there every single day?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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