If you ever change your mind

For the Week of June 2, 2008
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If you ever change your mind
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Sonny has relinquished the rights to what he loves most - his children.

First off, if you decide to Veronica Mars it and follow my Pop Culture lead to see where it will take you, don't you dare stop at Crystal Gayle. Follow it all the way to Ella Fitzgerald. Period.

"I would take you where the music's sweetest
And feed you winter fruits and summer wine
Show you things you've only read in story books
If I thought you'd ever change your mind

I would bring you happiness
Wrapped up in a box and tied with a yellow bow
I would bring you summer rain and rainbow skies to make your garden grow
And in the winter snow my songs would keep you from the cold

But what use of flowers in the morning
When the garden they should grow in is not mine
And what use is sunshine if I'm crying
And my falling tears are mingled with the wine."

Sonny has relinquished the rights to what he loves most - his children. His heart is broken, and his fervent prayer is that Carly will someday find him worthy of a second shot at fatherhood. From the moment he signed his name on the paper his heart was singing "If you ever change your mind..."

It's one of life's most difficult challenges, being separated from someone you love when you are helpless to reverse it. It doesn't matter the reason for the distance, it can stem from a death, or a divorce, or someone who just woke up one day and decided to cross you off their list. In all cases, it's out of your control. You have all this love in your heart and nothing to do with it. It aches and throbs inside you with a constant and insistent plea; 'Change your mind. Come back. Say it isn't so.' You pray that you will wake up to find it's all been an awful dream, but you wake up, and they are still gone. Sometimes the only thing you can cling to is the distant hope of "If you ever change your mind."

I feel for Sonny right now, although I admit, his character has been so selfish for so long I didn't think I had any more sympathy for him in my heart. Even in his desire to change and transform himself into a good Dad, he selfishly bullied Jason into taking over his business. But the depth of his loss and grief are so complete, I can't really fault him. He lost one son and traces the tragedy right back to his own doorstep. He is determined to make changes so it doesn't happen again. He is giving up everything he has worked for in his life and is willing to sacrifice everything to try to change who he is - to try to reverse the choices he has made in his life, to rewind and live another life. Can he do it? Only time will tell, but for today - his willingness to be a better man moves me.

Now before I get too maudlin on you, let me change course...who knew that Jason wanted to add arson to his long list of criminal behavior? Was he home watching Firestarter on cable and felt a strange kinship with Charlie McGee? He's usually a gun kind of guy, so when Anthony wheeled through the door, I expected Jason to be sitting at his desk with a big gun pointed at his head. But alas, he was met instead with billows of smoke, and Jason was in the garden behind the bushes giving Anthony the Stink Eye.

Apparently this was his personal retaliation for Jason's shipment that was intercepted which we learned of from Max. Although Johnny suggested they try to keep the truce, Anthony had other ideas. The dueling influences of Ric and Trevor on Anthony has become deeply irritating - I would much rather see Ric reconcile with Sonny and work with him against the Zacharra's than working with his creepy Dad. On this, however, I think Anthony acted of his own twisted free will.

To me, it seemed a bit extreme for Jason to set fire to the Zacharra Manor, but I guess I'm not thinking like a mobster.

Thankfully for Claudia, she was safely tucked away at Wyndemere deepening her newfound bond with Nikolas. She keeps making cracks about Nikolas' house being Dracula's castle, just imagine finds out that out his Dad was frozen in the GH basement for 20 years and defrosted to lurk eerily around the halls a second time!

Nikolas has no preconceived ideas about Claudia, and vice versa. There is no agenda between them, no bad history, no animosity - they are coming together as two blank pages upon which any story can be written. Both of them are in the midst of personal tragedies however, so the story they are writing can't help but be colored by their inner turmoil. Nikolas has very little will to live, and ended the week by riding his horse at night right after having brain surgery. This is not a good idea. Although his doctor didn't specifically mention it was one of the things he should avoid, so I guess Nik can play dumb. Doctors sometimes assume patients have common sense, so they don't say things to people like "Oh, by the way, since you just had brain surgery you shouldn't go cliff diving," because they assume the person will know that inherently. But, they'd be wrong.

So, Nikolas after months of resisting had brain surgery to stay alive for Spencer, but now changed his mind and wants to die? Make up your mind, writers. And Spencer has vanished again. Since Claudia showed up I haven't seen a peep of him. Maybe he's in hiding with Kristina and Molly. I hope he's not 13 next time we see him.

Spinelli said the wrong thing to Sonny this week and ended up with a lump on his head, a night in Maxie's bed, and a glaring memory loss that lead him to believe that he may have had sex with Maxie 6 times. Instead what Maxie did to him 6 times was wake him up to make sure he didn't have a concussion... When The Jackal realized he had been in bed with Maxie all night and blew his chance to nail her, he enlisted the help of fair Samantha to give him lessons on how to woo a woman. Sam did her best to build him up in front of Maxie and Lulu, but neither of them took him seriously and mocked him mercilessly.

I always hear women say "There are no nice guys out there!" But then I see nice guys, and women mainly treat them like they do Spinelli; as though they don't matter. Then they go off in search of someone more...complicated. Maxie and Lulu neither one have great track records with men, but poor Spinelli isn't their type. Their loss- he'd treat either of them like a queen if given the chance. Nerds are highly underrated.

Jax and Carly are not living in newly wedded bliss, but are instead battling over Kate, Jason and Sonny. Carly told Jax that Sonny is out of her life and the boys lives and has signed away his parental rights. Let's remember this was Jax's plan to begin with, you would think he would be thrilled that Sonny signed the papers. But he isn't, and in fact he's being a bit of a jerk. Carly is having trouble with Kate's role in Jax's life and he's taking Kate's side.

I'm on Carly's side about this one. Kate has NO business barging into Carly's house to give her opinion about Carly's parental decisions. And I'm also with Carly that Kate should not have come into her home and taken her Michael out some place without her knowledge or permission. If you were divorced and your husband's girlfriend showed up at your house and took your kids out without your knowledge, would you be okay with that? No me neither, especially if on said outing they had been shot in the head. Carly has every right to be unhappy with Kate, and a more sensitive husband would stop throwing Kate in Carly's face. I used to kind of like Kate, but I realized this week that I am over her.

On a lighter note, the sparring between Maxie and Lulu is a bit like a ballet, well rehearsed and beautifully choreographed. Both Julie Marie Berman and Kirsten Storms are brilliantly executing this rivalry - it's been a long time since we've hate a cat fight so purrfectly delicious.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Robin's baby kick and knock her over as she only weighs about 12 pounds? Will Lucky try the fake pills to test them out and get hooked on placebos? Will Sam help build Spinelli into Schwarzenegg-arean body mass? Will Johnny take some of his piles of money and anti up for a hotel room so Lulu doesn't have to do him on the cement floor of the garden shed? Will anyone who says they are going to visit Michael in a couple of days ever actually visit him? Will the Port Charles Fire Chief be better at solving crimes than Mac at the PCPD and discover who set the fire at the Zacchara mansion? Will Alfred spit in Claudia's tea if she keeps calling him Jeeves?

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