Six keys to the kingdom

I love a good treasure hunt. And of course, the obligatory pirate just adds to the entertainment. Watching Ali eavesdropping for clues and then Curtis throwing her off the trail, were just two of the highlights of the hilarious Six Keys to the Kingdom contest. Henry's unsuccessful quest to find a partner and Emily not wanting to dig in the dirt because it would ruin her manicure, had me in stitches. If I had the keys to the kingdom, I'd give them to whoever came up with this storyline. It's just that brilliant.

Even the extras were a hoot. Did you spot the ZZ Top-looking dudes, the twins, and the nuns? But the funniest part of this wacky tale was poor Henry trying to convince all the people he'd crossed in the past to be his partner. Not even the lure of thousands of dollars could get the Oakdale denizens to forgive his past cheating ways and team up with him. Casey recalling how Henry stole his camera years ago was a nice nod to show history.

But Katie should have stepped up for my beloved boy. C'mon, what hasn't he done for her? He was stranded on a desert island, dressed in drag, and committed to the mental ward to help her out. Perhaps Henry will find another worthy partner, maybe Carly, Jack, Lucinda, or better yet, Craig. I'm thinking he could use the money.

In other observations:
--Pilar has gone stark raving mad. Are we to believe her love for Mike drove her to this insanity? She's one dead rabbit away from turning into Julia Snyder!

--Simon fans, I feel your pain. Yes, it's sad that he resorted to a con to secure his relationship with Katie. But, on some level, I understand it. He felt threatened by Mike and fell back on the one thing he knows: cons. What I don't get is why he suddenly turned dense. Simon is smart enough to know that trying to convince Mike that Katie forgave Pilar would never work. I'm just assuming he's so desperate, he doesn't care. But therein lies the rub. The Simon we know wouldn't be this desperate. He'd just come clean, tell Katie the truth and win her over with his honesty. And it's not like he hasn't had experience with stalker women before. Remember Dahlia? Regardless of how this plays out, nothing can make me hate my favorite Aussie. But I'm hoping he comes clean with Katie soon.

--Margo isn't a hoochie. Nope. Apparently that honor belongs to Jessica. For some reason, she just can't be faithful to Ben. First there was Marshall, now Doc. Can we blame her latest bout of insanity on all those fertility drugs? I don't know. I do know that once again, poor Ben is on the losing end of a relationship.

-- I think I underestimated Doc. He's got not one, but two, intelligent women ready to forget their husbands and shake the sheets with him. I guess all that cockiness is duly earned.

--Does anyone else find it humorous that ATWT is sponsored by Aussie hair products? I couldn't help but laugh when the kangaroo symbol popped up on a commercial break, just after Simon and his accent were talking of returning down under.

--I'm thrilled Lucy is getting a storyline that isn't teen related. Her kidnapping has been enjoyable. Watching she and Dusty bicker about mice and musty cabins has been amusing. She and Dusty have chemistry, but I can't imagine a romance. The age difference is unsettling, not to mention he was her Aunt Lily's first boyfriend more than a decade ago. If they do pursue a romance, Craig might be begging Lucy to reconsider Aaron "hairball" Snyder. Now that would be funny!

--"You and I both know, you belong here, with me!" That was Henry's reaction to Katie's news that she was leaving town with Simon. Whether you like Katie and Henry better as friends or are hoping for something more, you have to admit, they have combustible chemistry. Their heartwarming goodbye scene hit all the marks. Henry showed denial, anger and then finally, acceptance. Call me crazy, but these two are the future. Let's talk triangle with Mike.

--Where is John Dixon? I miss him. I thought when Dusty hit town, we would see more of him. But aside from the occasional hospital scene, John has been missing in action. With all the remarkable talent on this show, I know it's impossible to use everyone all the time. But John should be forefront in the Dusty story. The history is just too good.

--I think someone at the ATWT head team must be a frustrated Broadway producer. It was just a few months ago we saw Mike and Katie's spontaneous dance at the diner, and now we get treated to Chris' hospital dance fantasy searching for the keys. Chris' musical number was hilarious, as he found the keys under a hospital tray, in a nurse's cleavage and other places. With Bob, Emily and the gang providing back up moves, the scene was over-the-top funny and appropriate for a fantasy.

--Does Henry own any clothes that aren't three-piece suits? Considering he doesn't have a job, it's a bit odd that he wanders around Oakdale dressed for Wall Street. Wardrobe department: I'm begging, get him a pair of jeans already!

--Speaking of pet peeves, I wish the question of Henry's sexuality would be answered finally. Just when I was convinced he was totally hetero, his scene with Mike this week had me guessing. It was something right out of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," as Henry showed his utter disdain for beer and admired Mike's "rippling muscles." But then in his next breath, he was talking about how attractive Pilar is. Color me confused.

--I don't like the Jordan/Jennifer pairing. Sorry. It was just too fast. For some reason, the new Jennifer just hasn't been a good fit in any storyline yet. She threw herself at Dusty first, then at Jordan. I'm not sure why this character isn't working for me. She just isn't.

--Oakdale's Father's Day award won't be going to James Stenbeck this year. These were his fatherly words to Paul this week during a jailhouse argument. Paul: "So sorry to disappoint you." James: "That's alright. I'm used to it." Ouch! I bet he didn't get that from Bill Cosby's "Fatherhood."

Best Lines of the Week:
(Lily tells Craig not to fight with Alan, Sierra's new sailor husband, while they are looking for Lucy.)
Craig: "Don't worry. I'll keep old Barnacle Bill tied up close alongside."

(Just after Katie's pet rabbit comes up missing, Katie tells Henry that she plans on leaving town.)
Henry: "Katie, tell me this is just a bad joke to shock me out of my bunny grief."

(Henry tries to choke down a beer with Mike.)
"You know this stuff would taste a lot better if it was gin."

(Susan tries to convince Ali to participate in a local treasure hunt contest for money.)
Susan: "All the questions in the contest are based on Oakdale history. You had that in the fifth grade."
Ali: "Mom. I had chicken pox in the fifth grade, and postnasal drip, and I had a lot of detention." That's all for now. See ya next time Scoopers!
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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