Poker pranks

Oh Jack Snyder. Why? Why must I be forced to believe you've lost your marbles?

This storyline is stretching the limits of believability and my last nerve. Consider the facts: Jack is typically Mr. Curiosity. At the very least, he'd be like a dog with a bone trying to figure out his past life. The wedding ring, the fact that he cuffed and stuffed Julia's ex, and his ease with children are all clues to his identity. And for some reason, he's ignoring them all for a booty call.

It's ridiculous that he hasn't taken out an ad on radio, TV or even visited a police station. And while Craig's description of Jack not being "the fastest pony on the track" certainly has relevance here, even Jack isn't this stupid.

--What does a girl have to do to get in a card game with Henry and Mike? That strip poker game was the funniest segment of the week. I couldn't help but laugh at Henry still wearing his trademark tie, even when stripped to his skivvies. And I did feel a little sorry for Henry. I don't think he fully thought his plan through. Otherwise, he would have realized that playing strip poker next to a guy whose six-pack is centerfold material is probably not the best way to win Nikki's heart.

--Mike should forget construction. He could have a lucrative career as a stripper. As long it took him to unbutton those button flies, he has apparently mastered the "tease" part of "striptease."

--Terri Colombino will soon be back as Katie. That's good news for my new favorite duo, Mike and Henry. Hopefully, we'll get to see the Katie/Henry relationship explored when she returns. After all, Henry is more attached to Katie than his emergency martini kit, and that's saying something.

--It's hard to like Hal when he gets this way. His nasty ultimatums to Carly this week were reminiscent of his one-man dogged pursuit of Aaron years back. No wonder Emily has a wandering eye lately. This Hal is an overbearing bully.

--With Molly gone, will the new triangle be Lily, Holden and Craig? I'm never against a story that has Holden and Craig front burner, but Lily has had more screen time than most of her female cast mates combined the last several years. So I hope this doesn't turn into a love triangle. I'm hoping for Holden to get his own story arc. He's done nothing but babysit for years.

--You've probably heard by now that Walker Daniels will be departing. "ATWT" let Real Andrews go. I can't say I'm shocked. He's had nothing to do for months. And that's a real shame. They easily found a storyline for Jordan. Why couldn't they do the same for Walker?

--It's about time Lucy and Aaron had a heart to heart about Dusty. I've been waiting for it. Aaron didn't seem as shocked as I thought he'd be. Where was the anger? The resentment that older and shadier Dusty is good enough for her but Aaron never felt he was? I was expecting this scene to have some fireworks. It didn't. Further proof that Lucy and Aaron are better as friends.

--Julia seems like an interesting enough character, but "ATWT" seems pretty full of interesting characters already. I can't help but wonder which other lead actresses will be pushed aside to give the new character screen time. New faces are always bittersweet. As much as I like them, I hate that other characters pay the price for the additions. I guess it's just the ebb and flow of daytime.

--Will Munson is scaring me. He seems as diabolical as Barbara. If he's really out to get Mommy Dearest, then Barbara had better watch her back. After all, it appears the apple didn't fall from the tree.

--Lucy and Craig's fight was brilliant. Screaming at one another is definitely new for this duo, but under the circumstances, it worked. Hunt Block and Peyton List delivered a powerful performance during the fight. Craig's sneer of " You're my daughter," was matched by Lucy's apathetic retort: "You're nothing to me." It was sad, filled with anger and emotion. I can't wait for round two.

--I sure hope the Ali/Chris wedding doesn't happen. He's not committed. She's constantly asking other people to reassure her that Chris loves her. Wouldn't you think they'd get a clue that this probably isn't a match made in Heaven? Plus, Susan will really come unglued when she realizes she spent all that money on Waterford crystal for naught.

--So Molly left town and didn't bother to tell partners Dusty and Craig. Um, that's just weird.

--How is it possible that Hunt Block can turn even the most ho-hum scene into pure entertainment? From calling Holden "fragile" to ripping on Molly for her hormones and bad instincts, Block didn't miss a beat all week.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Holden tells his mother that he and Lily are working on their marital problems.)
Holden: "Lily has agreed to take the first step."
Emma: "And what would that be?"
Holden: "She's going on a crash diet. She's going to cut 200 pounds of annoying fat out of our lives. And his name is Craig."

(Rosanna finds a drenched Craig after Emma dumped a bucket of water on him.)
Rosanna: "I see you had a conversation with Emma."

(Jennifer and Paul discuss Barbara's latest antics.)
Jennifer: "Paul, whose mother does the things that our mother does? Who drives a car into the state mental hospital?"
Paul: "Better she's breaking in than out."

Reader Spotlight:
Thank you to everyone who e-mailed the answer to my question about the actress playing the maid. And thanks to all of you who send me your thoughts each week. I enjoy your opinions, too. I thought I'd share some readers' "Two Scoops."

"Yes, that was Dorothy Lyman, who used to play Naomi on "Mama's Family," that you saw. She also used to be Gwen on "Another World" and more famously, Opal, on "All My Children." For old timers like me, it was great to see her back on a soap. I love your column, keep up the good work." - Doug

"I thought the strip poker thing was dismal for Henry. I kept hoping Henry would lose his shirt to reveal a six pack and shock everyone at the table! (Not that I ever mind a gratuitous shot of Mike : ) I don't necessarily think I want Henry with Nikki. Hasn't he earned the right to have them write a new love interest for him? Love your scoops as always." - Melanie

"Bravo! You hit the nail on the head with the comments about Jessica. Ben needs someone nice in his life. Jessica is annoying as is her friend Margo. Both need wake-up calls. Plus the fact abut the invitations, poor Ali should not have had to do that. Even Susan should have mailed them. I hope that Ali winds up with Aaron because they are so cute together. Chris is a loser. Thanks for the column." - Joan

"I find it very amusing that the "ATWT" writers called the maid character Naomi. The actress' name is Dorothy Lyman and she did play Naomi on "Mama's Family." Man, these folks have such a great sense of humor! On another note, I so agree with you on the funniest line this year. What Aaron said was priceless and so on the money! Kudos. Keep up the good work." - Doug

"This is the first time I've read your column and it's GREAT! You went straight down a list of all the things I was thinking last week while watching the show. You happened to mention something about a paternity squabble with Ro, Jordan and Paul. They better not go there. After all, the reason she got Cabot in the first place was because she had a hysterectomy. Keep up the great work!" - Tanya

That's all for now. See ya next time Scoopers!
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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