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 Two Scoops: May 23, 2011 columns
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That's the fronsiest thing I've ever heard
For the Week of May 23, 2011
Two Scoops is a weekly opinion column about all things All My Children. Check in every week to see if you agree or disagree with what our columnists have to say!
I never know where I'll draw inspiration from for a Two Scoops column. Sometimes the column writes itself. Other times there's a storyline that has to be discussed. This week, there was a line that stuck out to me -- and I knew that it would be the kickoff point for my weekly chatterboxing about All My Children.

For several weeks now, I've tried to figure out why Kendall needs to do this top secret, undercover mission to bring down Ricky. I've come up with excuses to make myself believe that she's not being a complete idiot. She wants to avenge her husband's death. She's worried that the Pine Valley Police Department will bungle the case. Well, I take it all back. Kendall is a complete idiot. And this mission may be the fronsiest thing she has ever done.

Oh, I'm guessing not everyone may be familiar with the term "fronsie." It's a term I've started using to describe something that is completely uncalled for, utterly stupid, or without any sort of logical explanation. You know, like when Brian Frons announced that All My Children would be going off the air. Now that you're clued in, let's get back to this week's column, already in progress.

Not only has Kendall effectively taken over Tad's job as Pine Valley's baddest private investigator, but she is also now a computer hacker. I am not entirely sure that I believe Kendall can operate an ATM, let alone follow directions from a computer geek about how to recover Ricky's erased hard drive. Did she even have a cheat sheet nearby, or were the instructions installed into the microchip in her brain?

Computer tech stuff aside, she allowed the man who killed her husband to put an engagement ring on her finger. Yes, Kendall is trying to take Ricky down… See, there I go again. I'm still trying to make sense of her actions. I can't believe that there would be any justification whatsoever for Kendall to remove the ring Zach gave her, and then replace it with a murder-ring. She might as well pee in Zach's Grainios and dance on his grave.

Meanwhile, there's Griffin and his white iPod headphones hiding in plain sight, egging Kendall on. "I never do anything stupid. I'm way too clever for that, remember?" Griffin chuckled when urged by Kendall to be careful. Griffin, people may find you cute, but you are sure not clever. Umm, have you noticed that the entire Latino population of Pine Valley knows where to find you? Oddly, though, neither Ricky nor the authorities have been able to find him. Maybe he is more clever than I've given him credit for.

As a random aside, the ramshackle house where Griffin has been hiding looks very familiar to me. I am sure it was a set that was used in a past storyline, but I haven't been able to figure out which one.

Jane Doe is amusing the hell out of me. Since she only knows the peripheries of Erica's life, thanks to reading Erica's books and gleaning what she could from interviews and what not, Jane is the un-Erica. I know that many of you are still not sold on the look-alike story (though I received a lot of messages from fans out there that are enjoying it as much as I am), but consider this: Jane is allowing for all of the interactions that viewers have dreamt about, but have been unable to see because they were out of character for Erica.

Erica and Opal's verbal sparring was both painful and juicy all at the same time. We know that Erica would never tear into her "gal pal" the way Jane did, but it was interesting to watch the chemistry between Susan Lucci and Jill Larson because they've never had a scene together in which their characters fought. Equally entertaining was the look on Greenlee's face when "Erica" ran up to her and gave her a big ol' bear hug.

Jane's mannerisms are totally different than Erica's, as are her expressions. I'd guess it's fun to be able to play a jerk after 41 years. For those of you who are opposed to the look-alike drama: imagine for a moment that Jane wasn't taking over Erica's life, and that Erica bumped her head and was acting this way because of a head injury. Would you like the un-Erica behavior then?

There is something that bothers me. I could have sworn that before the explosion at the quarry, Erica was wearing the blue dress and Jane was wearing a black one. After, though, when Jack found "Erica," it was Jane that had on the blue dress. Did Jane bop Erica on the head, drag her into a closet, and change outfits? Or maybe that "quick change" magic duo swung by and presto-changeoed their frocks.

In the midst of all the super spying and doppelgangering, there was, of course, the weepiness of Madison's baby dying. I try to avoid the scoops and previews, so I can honestly say that I didn't know the baby wouldn't make it. There were moments of realness… Madison knew instantly when Ryan walked into her room that bad news was about to be delivered. Part of me wishes that we'd gotten a chance to see some anger. Rather than having a somber Madison tell Ryan to leave and return with fake good news, I'd have liked to see her go into rage mode. To the best of my knowledge, we've never seen Madison go there. I'm not saying that the scenes weren't fine as written. I'm merely exploring the "hmm…" factor in my head.

And lest we forget the Dixie sighting! There's that old expression, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck." Well, the person we saw carving a star into the wall didn't walk like a Dixie (she was sprawled out on a bed) or talk like Dixie (she was barely conscious), but she certainly did look like a Dixie.

So where in the world is Dixie? Is she squirreled away somewhere in another of David's secret lairs? Was she, too, kidnapped by Jane? Maybe Ricky had something to do with Dixie's death -- it's not like he hasn't killed before. If so, is Dixie going to be sharing her makeshift prison with Zach? Eek! There are so many questions -- and the word on the street is that we have to wait until Friday, June 3, to catch our next glimpse of Dixie.

That gives us enough time to play one of my favorite games. No, not Pin the Tail on the Fronsie -- but that's definitely in my top ten list. The game I'm thinking about is YouScoops. You know, that's where you share your thoughts on what's happening on AMC with me. So, click the email link below, at the top of the page, or right here, and tell me where you think Dixie is. Or maybe you don't think it's Dixie. I'm anxious to hear what you think, and I will share some of my favorites in next week's column.

dan

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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