What do fireplaces and casinos have in common? Dangerous pokers!

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What do fireplaces and casinos have in common? Dangerous pokers!
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The week of June 29, 2009
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I've decided to start off my column with the part that could be dubbed the meanest. That way I'll get it out of the way and hopefully you'll forget all about it by the time you get to the end of the column.

I've decided to start off my column with the part that could be dubbed the meanest. That way I'll get it out of the way and hopefully you'll forget all about it by the time you get to the end of the column.

Could the book-reading scene with JR, Marissa, and Little A have been any more syrupy? Oh my goodness, I had to run to find some potato chips to try to balance out all that sweetness. Long-time readers of this column will more than likely already know that I am not a fan over the overly cutesy child characters. I thought I'd softened after seeing that little demon seed, Kate Martin, try to off Krystal a few months back. Well, apparently I haven't. When the trio huddled together and Little A batted his eyes and asked JR to tell him a story about his mommy, I just about lost it. I think the fact that it's so obvious that JR and Marissa are going to be paired up makes it even worse.

I wanted to comment on something a week or two back, but it didn't really annoy me enough until this week to make me want to put pen to paper, so to speak. Why are the first five minutes of each day's episode a flashback of the last five minutes of the previous day's episode? I thought that it might be a way to cut costs, but then I couldn't figure out how that would save money. Does someone think that the déjà vu moments will help bring in new viewers? If a viewer doesn't know what's going on, a few minutes of repeats aren't going to help. I have no issues with the Monday show having the repeated portions, since some viewers may need to be reminded what happened before the weekend hit.

I wrote part of my column earlier in the week before the entire week of shows played out. Here's something that I jotted down during Monday's show:

    Am I the only one that foresees disaster with Frankie's surgery? I understand that Frankie was unable to sign the consent forms for his operation, but why do I get the feeling that when something goes wrong, he'll take it out on Randi because she's the one who actually signed the papers?
By the end of the week, Frankie had limited range of motion in his hand, so I guess I jumped the gun on that one.

While on the topic of Randi, I have some issues with the flashbacks of her and Henry North in bed. Maybe I have a faulty image in my head, but Randi looked too glamorous in those scenes. I pictured her as a little more... gritty... prior to falling for Frankie. And I'm not sure that her pimp at the time, Fletcher, would have allowed her to get that close to someone.

The revolving door continues. Somehow Ryan managed to get on the grounds of the Chandler Mansion and walk into the mansion through an unlocked door (where he caught Annie groovin' and moving'). Call me silly, but if someone had just been murdered in my house - someone who everyone mistakenly thought was me -- I'd deadbolt every door, board up every window, have snipers on the roof, and, at the very least, have an alarm system installed.

Annie offering Ryan psychological advice about his paranoia was funny to me. Many readers have dropped me a line over the months to say that they think something is wrong in Ryan's head. The way Annie was sizing up the fireplace poker, he might end up with a nasty bump on his head in the future. I just hope it doesn't give him amnesia again.

Maybe Adam hasn't completely recuperated. He is running in circles trying to do... something... with Annie. Two weeks ago, I was convinced that Adam was up to something when he invited Annie to live with him. Now he's running around trying to find the perfect dress for her. Is this all part of his plan or has he started to get smitten with Annie? I did have to chuckle a bit when Adam tried to figure out what size dress to buy Annie. How many readers out there have harrowing tales of their boyfriends or husbands wandering into the women's section of a store to buy them a gift?

The Kane apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. Kendall did her best Erica Kane impression when she sat down with Henry and offered him a deal. Yes, the woman who is undoubtedly going to trial for murder is somehow wandering around town freely without so much as an ankle bracelet. Why on earth, though, did Jack let Kendall alone in the same room with Henry? He had to know it wasn't going to go well, but I'm sure he wouldn't have expected Kendall to offer Henry the governorship of Pennsylvania in exchange for a "Get out of jail free" card. Actually, what Kendall offered was "friendship... with benefits... guaranteed."

And aren't Henry and Madison just the happy couple? Henry is trying to reignite a former relationship and Madison is counting cards and flirting with the casino owner. More than that, it looks like Madison has a bit of a gambling problem. Who hasn't plunked down a few dollars more than they'd planned on lottery tickets, a game of cards, bingo, or a slot machine? I'm trying to recall if AMC has ever done a storyline about gambling addiction. Granted, Madison isn't a character that anyone cares about, but this could have been an interesting storyline. I am sure that in these hard times, there are many people who are spending more money than they can afford with the hopes of hitting it big.

What does make sense (go figure!) is why Henry is so intent on putting Kendall behind bars. He tipped his hand when he compared Kendall to the woman he married, a wealthy woman from a blue-blood family. Annie told me that she thinks Henry is using Kendall as an outlet for his anger towards Madison, which all stems from his unhappiness that he's not with Randi.

I would be remiss if I did not mention -- at least in passing -- how much I'm enjoying Chrishell Stause's performances of late. If Amanda hadn't been trampy for so long, I wonder what sort of stories she'd have been given. I wonder if there was fear among the writing team that a less sex-crazed Amanda would have posed storyline competition for Kendall? There seems to be a limit on how many heroines can be shown on-screen at the same time.

Liza has become a very angry woman all because of Amanda's baby. I don't think she really cares what's best for Amanda or the baby. How many times has she said "I'm not giving my baby up" or something similar to that? It's not a good look for her and it's really turning me off. We need Cher to make a cameo so that she can slap Liza and tell her to "snap out of it!"

Brot's proposal to Taylor was really well done, so it's a shame that these two will never walk down the aisle. You know what they say: a happy couple is a boring couple.

Say what you will about the rest of the storytelling, the dialogue for Erica has been spot-on in the past few weeks. Erica's zingers come fast and furious and are outdone only by the speed with which she walks down the aisle. I enjoyed the verbal jousting at the "celebratory dinner party" where Annie and Erica battled about their time in lockdown.

One of the highlights of the week, though, was this gem. "I don't care if you shack up with the road company of Cats," Erica sassed when Adam accused her of being jealous of his, um, relationship with Annie. I'm not sure what tickled me so much about that retort -- maybe it was because choosing Cats was so random. Is Cats even still touring? Of course it is, I can hear you all shouting back -- that show has nine lives!

I hope the same can be said for All My Children.

Just a reminder that I always love to hear from you. I didn't get a lot of feedback last week, so I'm not sure if AMC fans are tuning out or if the column didn't spur you guys to comment. If you're so inclined, click the link below and let me know that you're still keeping up with Pine Valley!


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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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