Your cheatin' heart

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Your cheatin' heart
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The week of March 7, 2011
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Two Scoops is a weekly opinion column about all things All My Children. Check in every week to see if you agree or disagree with what our columnists have to say!

Hi everyone, Liz Masters here. I'm stepping in for Dan this week while he takes some time off to celebrate his birthday. Happy birthday, big guy, I hope you have a fantastic day!

Now let's dive into this week's episodes of All My Children. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone has been playing the Hank Williams' classic, Your Cheatin' Heart while the writers have been hashing out the plot lines. What's up with all the unhappy couples around Pine Valley?

About the only person who appears to be moderately content is Tad, who is about to marry his brother's ex-wife to keep her in the country, so that some crazed drug cartel leader won't kill her. Noble to be sure, but this is not going to end well. I foresee lots of good soapy scenes in our future because it's as plain as the snow on Tad's roof that Jake has it bad for Cara and that Thaddeus is crushing just a wee bit on his future bride.

That scene with Tad and scary Mrs. Castillo at Krystal's was absolutely hilarious. It was Michael E. Knight at his comedic finest as he smoothly assured his very displeased future mother-in-law that he was younger than he looked and that he had paid to have the gray put in his hair. I howled with laughter when she asked him how the mother of his four children felt about the marriage and he responded, "That's kind of a trick question, see, because none of them actually have the same mother." She looked like something vile had crawled up onto the table while Tad grinned at her like a Cheshire Cat. I loved it.

Meanwhile at Casa Martin, Cara was weeping in Jake's arms. I don't like some of the things that Amanda has done lately in the name of saving her marriage. However, I can't blame her for feeling threatened by Cara. Jake isn't keeping Amanda in the loop, and every time Amanda turns around, Jake and Cara are together. Each time Amanda tries to talk to him about Cara, he suggests that she's being insecure and paranoid, but that's not unfair because Jake and Cara are doing things that they shouldn't.

Why Cara is giving Jake that wedding ring on a chain is beyond me. That scene just made me cringe because Cara looked slightly desperate and needy. Telling a man you love him and then making gestures like that can be just as damaging to a marriage as having a full-blown affair. I want Cara to be better than that. Admittedly, I'm rooting for Jake and Amanda to work things out, but I'm also rooting for Cara to be a really cool new character. I like her a lot when she's not with Jake. Her scenes with Griffin are fantastic, and she has mad chemistry with Tad.

If given a chance, I think that Tad and Cara have the makings of being an interesting action couple, so I'd like to see that explored. I know it's a bit weird that she was once married to Jake, but this is a soap opera, so our options are limited.

Before I move on, I'd like to take a moment to express how delighted I am that Joe and Ruth Martin are heading to Pine Valley for a visit. It never fails to warm the cockles of my heart to see them. It's like getting a visit from my grandparents.

Now, on to Colby, who turned to her only friend, the webcam, to pour out her heart about all the people who had betrayed her. She accidentally hit send and a nanosecond later, everyone with a computer became privy to her private business. The moral of this little story is that the webcam is not our friend -- it's an opportunist that will reveal all of your dirty laundry to the world if you aren't careful.

Luckily, Colby didn't really say anything horrible about herself, just about Liza and Damon, so I guess she really won't be facing the worst of the repercussions. I suspect that fate will be reserved for Liza, who will no doubt be pelted with rocks and angry accusations of "Jezebel!" Does Liza deserve it? Oh, yes, but so does Damon. However, he's safely tucked far away in California, which I'm sure he'll be grateful for when he gets a gander at Colby's video confession. By the way, I felt really sad for Colby that she doesn't have a girl BFF to talk to. Someone who picks up the chunky monkey ice cream and a copy of Fatal Attraction on the way over with a box of tissues.

I'm sorry, but that truffle burger didn't sound at all appealing, and Asher is trouble because he's looking for way more than friendship. I guess that's why that innocent little camera looked so inviting to her.

Elsewhere in Pine Valley this week, we had Ricky hot on the search for Zach's hidden evidence. As this story unfolds, Ricky appears to be losing more of that veneer of kindness that he first had upon his arrival, which is sad because it doesn't bode well for his future. My hope for Ricky is that he turns out to be an undercover agent who helped Zach to fake his death and then hid Zach in the Witness Protection Program. It's not that I necessarily want Zach back, although I do love Thorsten Kaye. It's just that I don't want Thorsten to turn into the Vanessa Marcil of AMC. I'm not a fan of characters of hugely popular pairings popping on and off the show periodically through the years for short stints. I think that it messes with the flow of things. It works if the character is evil or crazy like Janet Green, but not when that person is part of a supercouple.

If Zach returns then it should be to stay.

I like Eddie Matos, so I would like for him to stick around, which means that the writers would have to find a way to undo his role in Zach's death. Otherwise, I don't think that he will be accepted.

Eddie's character has really good chemistry with Kendall and with Griffin as a rival. Kendall is far from ready to fall in love again, so a nice steamy triangle with two handsome men is just the thing to help her get her groove back.

And sakes alive, is Jordi Vilasuso handsome. Wow. If he were my doctor, I'd be scheduling an appointment with him every day, especially after I heard him on this week's Soap Central Live. He was really interesting and quite charming. I don't know why that surprised me, but it did. Take a listen for yourself by clicking here.

Jordi said something on Dan's show that resonated with me; he wasn't cast to replace Zach. He's a completely different character with a different history than Zach, so it would be unfair to view him as the new Zach or to try to compare him to Thorsten. He's Griffin, a character who will make his own mark in Pine Valley.

Meanwhile, Erica and Jackson are still trying to figure out if they will or will not get married. Frankly, I applauded Jackson for taking a stand with Erica by moving out of the penthouse. Like Jake, Erica can deny it all she wants, but everyone sees that there's something brewing between Erica and Caleb. Sadly, a few hours later, all it took for Jack to change his mind was for Erica to don that hideous swan dress that she pilfered from Bjork's closet, pour some champagne, and tell him how much he means to her. I do believe that Erica loves Jack, but it appears that Caleb is the one who lights her fire.

In another corner of Pine Valley, we have Greenlee lying to her new husband and love of her life, Ryan, about the paternity of Madison's baby. No one feels that Ryan can handle learning that he's going to be a papa for the third time because he's desperate to find Emma, who is currently stuck on the crazy train with Annie. I see their point. Ryan does tend to have the emotional stability of a 14-year-old drama queen (I know, I have one) but that doesn't mean he isn't entitled to know about his child. Ryan isn't a pedophile, a rapist, or violent with children, so there isn't any reason to keep the truth from him.

I say rip that soggy Bandaid off that festering wound of a lie and let the healing begin. I want Ryan and Greenlee to have their happily ever after, and I want to see Scott and Madison have a relationship without a lie holding them together. Scott and Madison are the underdog couple who make me smile. They have every reason to be bitter, yet they are so sweet with each other. It would be nice to see them have the last laugh after always ending up on the short end of the romantic stick.

Someone who isn't going to get the last laugh is Reese. I was stunned when that French attorney and the nanny strolled into Krystal's and assumed that Bianca would simply turn over her daughters to two strangers. I cheered Bianca on when she told that pompous attorney in English and French that her daughters weren't going anywhere with him. Even better was when Jack joined the party and then added his own two cents worth in French.

I have to admit, though, that a part of me is worried for Bianca. We all assume that she will not have a problem retaining custody of her children because she is their biological mother and they are American citizens. It seems unlikely that any judge would rule in favor of Reese, especially when Reese can't even bother to show up to visit the girls because she's always stuck at work with an emergency. It illustrates what Reese's priorities are. However, I remember thinking that Erica would never loose custody of Bianca, either, and yet it happened.

As much as it would break my heart to see the girls ripped away from Bianca, it would finally give Bianca a long-overdue storyline. Ms. Lind joined the cast in June, and we have yet to see her have an opportunity to stretch her acting wings and shine. It would be nice to see what she can do.

Thank you for taking the time to read my opinion. I enjoy hearing back from readers, so please feel free to drop me a line with your own thoughts about the show. Until next time, take care.

Liz Masters

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of AMC Pages or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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