That's a question I ask myself every day, Kendall. What could the AMC writers do to make me even more sick my stomach? How about a glossed-over version of [i]This Is Your Life[/i], starring Ryan Aloysius Lavery? Maybe it was Greenlee comparing Ryan and Kendall to Rhett and Scarlett? No, I'll have to go with Pregnancy Scares for $200, Alex.
Yep, that's right. Kendall threw up on Friday, which means a pregnancy test will be in her near future. I get that this is a soap staple - if a woman sleeps with two men within a short period of time, odds are she'll end up carrying one man's child. But just because that path has been well worn in the past, it doesn't mean you should head down there again, especially in a situation like this. It already feels as though Kendall's been pregnant constantly for the past two years; putting her through another pregnancy would be definite overkill, not to mention it would infuriate already angry fanbases.
As a Kendall fan, it was also pretty freaking frustrating to hear her apologize to Devane for lashing out at him, while also reminding us that she lost faith in the man she loves. If she did, it was only because of Aidan's hard sell.
I remember that day very well (though I try hard to forget). If I recall correctly, it was Kendall who wanted to continue the search and who called Aidan out on his lack of faith. It was only after Devane beat the hope out of her that she temporarily lost her mind and did... that thing she did. It was also really nice to hear lectures on relationships from Aidan Devane, perennial loser in love. If you want to know how to have a string of boring, backburner love affairs, Aidan's your guy, but advice on long-term love? I think not.
This Is Your So-Called Life
As if Kendall doesn't have enough to deal with listening to arrogant reprimands from old Fish and Chips, she's also got to fend off another former lover, Ryan. Ever the gentleman, it took Lavery about 10 minutes to declare his "love" to Kendall, both one-on-one and in front of their respective spouses. Classy!
I'm not even sure where to begin with this, since there were so many moments that drove me insane. Of course, there were those aforementioned declarations, which Ryan made while Greenlee was fighting for her life. (She won. Oh joy.) Then he ditched Annie at the hospital and went to the roof where he and Kendall "reconnected" (another memory I've fought hard to erase) and asked her to marry him. Again - classy! How about his awed stare at the picture of Spike, which was especially infuriating considering he [i]had already met his daughter and treated her like she was nothing.[/i] I guess it only counts when it's Kendall's kid.
But the most frustrating thing about that rooftop rendezvous was what wasn't said. Kendall, true to form, took the blame for the end of her relationship with Ryan, neglecting to mention his continued abuse before and after their breakup. The whole relationship is being held up as this idyllic love affair, but even the flashback clips they showed belie that description. "Damned if I know why, but I do care about you," Ryan whispered to Kendall. Huh? How did I ever find this relationship appealing?
Yes, Kendall, you didn't believe Ryan when he said he and Greens were just friends. Maybe that's because friends don't typically make out. You thought Greenlee was after Ryan because she was. And the minute you made it clear to him that her presence in your life was unacceptable - you know, after she almost got you convicted of murder - he ran straight to her. But I digress...
They Keep Me Hanging On
Apparently, this selective amnesia is spreading, because even the REAL Greenlee has a spotty recollection of the last four years. I have a hard time believing someone like Greens would accept one of the loves of her life forgetting he ever loved [i]her[/i]. And how convenient that Greenlee recounted all of Ryan's mistakes during a commercial break, with an almost fleeting reference to him driving off a cliff? Or that she glossed over kidnapping Spike with a simple, "I did some bad things, too," completely ignoring her own little trip off a cliff. This whole thing takes retconning to a new level.
The only person, beside the Slaters, I really feel badly for is Annie. She's not one of my favorites, but I have a hard time wishing Ryan Lavery's attitude on anyone. Yes, he's confused and detached, but he tried to connect with her for about an hour before he gave up and ran back to Kendall and Greenlee. With all this 2004 revisited stuff, I have a feeling Annie Lavery's not long for AMC.
Of course, AMC manages to keep me hanging on by throwing in a day like Wednesday, with some quiet Slater family time, and a little love in the afternoon. There are just enough wonderful moments like that to keep me sitting through all the other crud, no matter how high my blood pressure rises or how hoarse my throat is from yelling at the TV. I just hope I get the payoff I want.
The Waiting Is The Hardest Part
Speaking of payoffs, I got my Jesse and Tad reunion this week - well, Jesse and Thaddeus, actually. The look on Tad's place was priceless, though I'm not sure he was quite as shocked as I expected. Considering how many resurrections he's seen, I guess it does get old after a while. I liked that Tad brought up his own experiences with Dixie to try to persuade his friend to reveal himself, but I have this funny feeling Jesse's reasons are going to be far more compelling than Dix's.
Indeed, it seems Jesse was forced to abandon his family in order to save their lives, and insisted Tad kept his mouth shut. We even got a manufactured flashback to 1988 with a hint to that threat. Honestly, I'm ready to accept any explanation, because I'm just so glad to have Darnell Williams back. The scenes on Friday, with him visiting his own gravestone were heart wrenching, but they were also hopeful, since they were juxtaposed with Angie heading to the grave herself.
It looks like we'll get our first Angie/Jesse encounter this week, which should be pretty freaking great. I'm glad AMC chose not to subject viewers to a long, drawn out series of near misses. They brought these two back for a reason and I want to see them together as soon as possible. Twenty years is long enough.
Odds & Ends
• Note to Junior: Never give something you think is a priceless family heirloom to your five-year-old son, no matter how much he silently asks for it. (Honestly, that kid needs to wake up. Miranda was born the same day and she's active, charming and precocious. That just looks dazed and confused.) How many bets on J.R. dishing out the righteous indignation when he finds out the ring was bugged, even though he was setting Adam up? I can't wait for that to happen. I'm looking forward to it almost as much as Babe and Junior's eventual reunion. Ugh.
• I did enjoy Adam listening in on J.R.'s icky advances on Babe with a disgusted look on his face. And seriously, the more scenes I can get with Adam and Erica, the better.
• That said, the only reason I'm looking forward to this Erica-as-Martha-Stewart financial fiasco storyline is to see if the sparks fly between Susan Lucci and Mario Van Peebles. Won't it be nice to have two prominent African-American families on this show (three if you count the rarely seen Fryes)?
• In this week's Soap Opera Digest, Colin Egglesfield (Josh) mentioned the possibility of a hot Josh/Amanda pairing. Please listen to him, AMC! Wouldn't it be fun for JR and Babe's exes to hook up and laugh over why they ever wanted them? (OK, that last part might just be my wishful thinking.)
That's it for me. Hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day; I'll see you back here in two weeks.