Shhh! It's me, Dan, but I've assumed the identity of a Two Scoops columnist
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AMC Two Scoops: Shhh! It's me, Dan
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The week of November 24, 2008
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Jacob Young certainly is doing his best to win a second Daytime Emmy...not that anyone will be able to see him accept the award, since no one wants to broadcast the ceremony next year.

Jacob Young certainly is doing his best to win a second Daytime Emmy - not that anyone will be able to see him accept the award since no one wants to broadcast the ceremony next year. I know that a lot of people are ticked that AMC decided to kill off Babe, but there's been some great story for JR ever since. It's a bit creepy though that Amanda and her dad -- oh wait, that was David! -- um, that Amanda and David are plotting to send JR back to the bottle. It reminds me a bit of when Janet Green decided that she was going to take of Brooke English's life. It didn't matter that the two women had a four-inch height difference... Let me get back on subject. JR angrily asked Amanda if she was going to dye her hair blonde to make herself look more like his dead wife. Would Amanda go that far? Her mother did so there has to be some sort of genetic predisposition to assuming other people's lives.

Meanwhile, while Amanda is actually sleeping with David, Krystal is dreaming about doing dirty deeds with Doctor David. Please tell me that she is not thinking about "replacing" Babe by having another child with David. Quickly revisiting Amanda and David's plot: did anyone realize that David was that loaded? He's writing off checks like nobody's business. A few thousand here, a half a million there... maybe they've started adding his Libidozone to batches of Viagra. Now you don't have to worry about not being in the mood when the "clock" strikes twelve o'clock.

I am really enjoying JR Martinez's work on AMC. I've been doing some background research on the actor and he's... so inspirational. When's the last time you had a belly ache or maybe a headache and called out of work just because you didn't feel like hauling your butt into the office? Martinez nearly lost his life fighting in Iraq, and though he had ample reason to be depressed after a landmine exploded around him, he's become a man with a mission. On AMC, his character has pretty much given up on everything he loves. Brot has allowed his fiancée and mother to think that he's dead. In a surprisingly touching story, Colby is now a part of Brot's life. The formerly spoiled Chandler brat has now taken the injured war vet into her home and is encouraging him to reach out and take control of his life. Colby also had one of my favorite lines of the week. After being ordered to leave him alone in the hospital supply closet, Colby threatened to call security and expose Brot's hiding place. When asked if she was blackmailing him, Colby replied with a smile, "It's kind of in my blood." Yes, Colby, it is. But where does the compassion come from?

So Dixie's half-sister turned out to be aptly named last week as Di... um, well she did just that. In last week's column, I mentioned that it was hard to look at the alleged kidnapper as Di Henry. Having a new actress assume a short-term role is a little silly in my mind. It would have made so much more sense to develop a new character. Perhaps, though, this is all setting up a major storyline. Picture it. Pine Valley. 2009. Annie walks around the outdoor recreational area at the Oak Haven mental institution. In the corner of the yard, a thin, pale woman rocks slowly back and forth. She's muttering something about pancakes and how someone tried to kill her with them. As Annie approaches to see if she's okay, the woman snaps out of her catatonic state and grabs Annie by the throat. "You killed my sister." Ooh and she ain't just whistin' Dixie!

Speaking of that crazy Annie Lavery... she really has lost her mind. Every time you look, she's got a gun in her hand. She's Pine Valley's answer to Annie Oakley! First she tried to shoot Greenlee. That was back when she first bumped her head and went cuckoo. Then she planned to shoot herself with a little help from Aidan. Next up, a chickfight with Di Henry -- and we all know how that ended. In what could be her final gun-slingin'-shoot-em-up, Annie pulled a gun on Ryan. In the days ahead, Annie will ditch her gun (perhaps she will turn it in at the local church for a Shop-Rite gift certificate) and start wielding a knife. Unfortunately, another innocent bystander will pay the price. Oh, isn't it great that Emma is safe? Maybe she and little Kate can get together and plot their own takeover of Pine Valley.

There's good news for the Fusion girls. When Kendall wakes from her coma, she can rejoin Greenlee and Amanda on the stripper pole. According to a group in Utah, pole dancing is the next big Olympic sport. According to NBC Sports, there is a "worldwide movement" to get the "sport" of pole dancing in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. You have no idea how I am having to bite my tongue to keep myself from making a comment about that "movement" part. Yes, Kendall Hart Slater, you, too, can be an Olympic gold medalist.


Dan J Kroll
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