Much ado about nothing

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Much ado about nothing
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The week of September 26, 2011
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As a die-hard Zach/Kendall fan, you would think I'd be pretty depressed after this week's turn of events. After all, we started with Kendall asking Ryan to move in with her, and we ended with the former lovers sharing a kiss. I guess I should be angry, or worried, or sad.

As a die-hard Zach/Kendall fan, you would think I'd be pretty depressed after this week's turn of events. After all, we started with Kendall asking Ryan to move in with her, and we ended with the former lovers sharing a kiss. I guess I should be angry, or worried, or sad. The funny thing is, while I'm not exactly thrilled at how the week began or how it finished, it's what happened in between that leaves me feeling relatively calm.

When Kendall asked Ryan to move in, it was because she wanted to put something - or in this case, someone - between her and her ex-husband. Kendall loves Zach so much that she asked Ryan to play bodyguard, so he could stop her from running across the courtyard at the drop of a hat, back into Zach's arms.

And where did a frantic Kendall come running from when she burst into Ryan's office on Friday? Zach's condo, where she had just had a heated confrontation with her ex about him not showing up at Ethan's memorial service. Kendall did what she usually does - she blew up at the man she loves and ran off to a man she doesn't love.

Now I'm sure some people saw the old magic between Ryan and Kendall, and you're as entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. But speaking as a woman who used to love Ryan and Kendall, I just don't see it anymore. That's not to say they won't temporarily reunite - I just don't see it lasting. It's still pretty clear, to me anyways, that Kendall still loves Zach, and vice versa.

You Faked Your Death? Me Too!

Speaking of Mr. Slater, he had a nice little chat with Dixie this week, while visiting Ethan's empty grave at the cemetery (the night before the aforementioned memorial service). The look on Dixie's face when Zach revealed that he recognized her was priceless, and her lame attempts to cover her behind were pretty funny - though, not as funny as Zach calling JR "that little idiot Junior". The two wayward souls had a heart-to-heart about regret and Zach agreed to keep Dixie's secret.

I'm fine with a Zach/Dixie friendship. Both of them could use a pal and they do have a few things in common. Given the very dark, possibly suicidal thoughts, Zach was entertaining at the end of the week - staring at a gun, amending his will, asking a casino employee to "clean up" after he was done in his office - Zach needs someone objective to talk him down. And for purely logistical reasons, Dixie had to encounter someone who didn't know her, but was still willing to help her. She's certainly going to need some help next week, seeing as she was shot by her own son!

That's right - JR ended Friday's episode by accidentally (and unknowingly) shooting Dixie. Ms. Cooney was standing outside the cabin where Junior was holding Krystal hostage at gunpoint, in an attempt to lure Babe out of hiding. It seems Tad and Adam were too busy arguing over who was to blame for JR turning evil to explain to the boy that Babe hadn't run off with Little Adam, but had been kidnapped by Janet. JR wouldn't accept that explanation and, in a drunken rage, took a shot at his ex-wife's mama. The bullet found its way into Dixie's arm instead (of course, by the way she reacted, you would have thought it was a mortal wound - but then again, I've never been shot, so maybe I shouldn't judge her).

Janet + Trevor + A Giant Cooler = Bad News

In other parent-child news, Amanda finally realized that she couldn't help her mother, and tried to convince Janet to turn herself in. She confessed all to David, who slipped some of his trusty truth serum into her drink and pumped her for information. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Amanda and David together. In fact, I enjoyed them so much that I'm hoping TPTB will come up with a way to pair the two town pariahs. Could you imagine Babe's reaction to having archenemy Amanda as her new stepmom? It would be hilarious! I know some might be icked out by the age difference, but I'm not - at least in this case there are no brain tumours or attempted murders in their past. But I digress...

Despite the best efforts of Jamie and Amanda, Janet - who also had time to knock out Dr. Hayward - managed to escape. Janet felt so betrayed by her "Mandy Pandy" that she seemed receptive to Babe's offer to be her "new daughter". Babe must have been desperate, having blown the perfect opportunity to escape by wasting time wishing on stars and gathering useless belongings, instead of just running out the window she managed to pry open!

Just when it looked like Babe may have regained some control over her situation, Janet asked her get something out of a giant freezer - which contained the body of Janet's husband, Trevor! Kudos to AMC for putting an ugly tie on the corpse as a wink to long time fans (note to newer viewers: Trevor was known for his quirky fashion sense) Of course, I would have preferred if AMC hadn't killed another beloved past character off-screen, but I'll take what I can get.

Daytime's First... Fetus Transplant?

Unfortunately, remembering Trevor's ties isn't nearly enough to make up for the insane revisionist history AMC is throwing at us with this Josh-is-really-Erica-and-Jeff's-aborted-fetus storyline. This week, in an attempt to convince Joe to rescind his job offer to Josh and send him out of town, Erica tried to justify her decision to have an abortion all those years ago, saying that her experience with Kendall - whom she couldn't remember giving birth to at the time - was the real reason she did what she did. I never really cared for this story, but I hadn't gotten really angry about it until now.

So now we are supposed to believe that Erica terminated her pregnancy because of her repressed, deeply rooted trauma from her rape? Sorry - I just don't buy it. I'll admit that I wasn't watching AMC when this storyline first aired (mostly because I hadn't been born yet), but everything I have read about the show's history says that ambition, not anxiety, led Erica to make her historic decision. It was her reasoning that made this story all the more revolutionary when it first aired. In my opinion, changing everything more than 30 years after it happened does nothing but damage AMC's proud history.

Parting Shots

Ethan's funeral was short and sweet: Ryan delivered the eulogy, waxing poetic about his insta-friendship with young Cambias, and finding out he inherited Ethan's Cambias shares, and Amanda showed up, receiving a good hard slap from Simone when she confessed that her mother caused the explosion that took Ethan's life. The highlight of the service might have been Tonya Pinkins (Livia) singing - many daytime stars try their hand at music, but Tony-winning Tonya is perhaps the most talented of them all.

I'm pretty sure Erin and Aidan were on this week, but I dozed off just after she told Fish and Chips that she had fallen in love with him. Sorry, but I just can't get into this romance. I'm glad to see Aiden Turner in a pseudo-frontburner story, but I just don't feel the love between these two. In other Lavery love life news, Jonathan and Lily spent some time bonding in the tree house he built her (I guess he had time to kill in between jail stays). Later in the week, Lily asked Livia for advice on divorcing her father, and Jonathan went to Jack's hospital room to convince Jack he was a good guy. Did anyone else hear that mischievous glint in Jonny Boy's voice when he talked about how helpless Jack must feel being unable to "lift a finger to defend himself?" Oh, I miss Crazy Jonathan!

Leven Rambin (Lily) update: though her return has been delayed again, don't worry! She should be back on-screen by the middle of March. Feel better Leven!

That's all for this week. I'll be on vacation two weeks from now, so the lovely Suellen will be returning for a guest appearance at Two Scoops. Enjoy! See you again soon!
-- Kristine

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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