Better the devil you know (with an accent you can identify)

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Better the devil you know (with an accent you can identify)
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The week of November 16, 2009
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Adam Chandler had a really rough week. He literally dropped dead at his wedding and then learned that one of his worst nightmares -- David Hayward -- was acting as Lucifer.

Adam Chandler had a really rough week. He literally dropped dead at his wedding and then learned that one of his worst nightmares -- David Hayward -- was acting as Lucifer. There's a reason that I watch the soaps. It's to learn new things. For example, who knew that the devil speaks with a really bad foreign accent? Where was that cop from Kay's house in North Carolina to jump in and say, "You don't sound like you're from Hell." I already knew about the red pitchfork from the old Tom and Jerry cartoons, but the voice -- that was all new to me. I am hoping I never have to find out in real life what the resident of Hades actually sounds like!

Of course, I'd be willing to bet that everything Adam saw was the result of his overactive imagination. The devil was represented by the one man he hates the most. That is the only explanation that I can come up with for why Adam's guardian angel was Annie Lavery. With his mind finally able to have clarity, Adam realized that Annie has been his protector for all these many months that we've had to endure the Stuart saga.

Am I the only one that was expecting the angel to be someone other than Annie, though? I thought we'd see Stuart... or maybe Lottie... or Dixie. Anybody. It would have been a great casting surprise if the show had somehow been able to sneak someone in to film scenes as Adam's guardian angel. But I guess they did the best with what they had.

It looks as if Annie's redemption is almost complete. The murderer-stabber-whacko will more than likely be seen in a different light for the way that she's been protecting Adam. Or maybe everyone will turn from calling her a murderer to something more mundane, like gold digger. As much as people may malign Charles Pratt as head writer, the resolve of his storylines make sense -- maybe more so than the storylines themselves. It makes sense as to why Annie wanted to marry Adam. Like Marissa said: Annie didn't want to have to testify against Adam. It wasn't (necessarily) that she wanted all the Chandler booty.

Of course, it looks like she might have her fair share of Chandler booty to choose from. Whaaat is going on between Scott and Annie?

I'm going to revisit a theory of mine that I think I first posed three or four years ago. At the time, I mentioned that characters seem much more interesting just before they're being written out. By extrapolation, it also seems that actors also turn up the volume on their performances shortly after they learn that they're being fired.

Case in point: Aiden Turner as Aidan Devane. I've griped and griped about the lack of story for Aidan for months. In September, we learned that ABC had decided to give Turner his walking papers. So what happens? Aidan is suddenly one of the most interesting characters on the canvas. What started out as Aidan helping Kendall flee town has turned into a pretty decent mystery. Aidan helped link up Kendall and Zach via that random poetry site, but then he got to thinking about his own life... and then he ran interference. Aidan and Kat's connection also was a really good surprise. I'm sure what we've learned so far is just the tip of the iceberg, but it was a decent twist.

Turner seems to have sunk his teeth into the new devious Aidan. It's a lot more fun to watch than seeing the boring spy sidekick storylines that Turner has had to endure for the past... too many years. This is even more entertaining that when Turner was frontburner in the Maureen Gorman/Maria Santos love triangle. I am not necessarily saying that I think Aidan is doing the right thing in the storyline, but it's a lot of fun to watch.

Speaking of fun to watch, I liked seeing Scott tell off Zach. Thorsten Kaye has the most amusing facial expressions. After Scott warned Zach to stay away from the hospital, Zach got this funny little smile and then cocked his head to one side. It reminded me of a squirrel begging for nuts in the park. You know, they don't like the fact that they have to beg for peanuts, and at the same time they are trying to figure out what they can do to get the peanuts without begging -- like swarming the peanut-feeder and gnawing their fingers off. Okay, maybe that's not the best analogy. But it sets up a visual for you. Zach isn't about to be told what to do by anyone -- especially someone that could be his kid's age. At the same time, I think Zach enjoyed seeing Scott grow a pair.

Liza finally stepped up to the plate as a parent. Though it lasted just a single segment on one episode, the mother-daughter bonding scenes between Liza and Colby were sweet. It's nice to know that somewhere the "new" Liza actually gives a damn about her daughter. We haven't really had a chance to see much of that because Liza's been running around like a crazy person over Bailey and little Stuart. If you remember, the "old" Liza left Pine Valley to protect her daughter, so it would be nice to see that mother lion return on a regular basis.

It's time for the All My Children pop quiz: prior to last week's honeymoon sex between Randi and Frankie, when was the last time that AMC showed a love scene? Daytime used to be all about the gratuitous sex scenes... and now they seem to come less frequently than the Olympics. (You can email me the last love-making scenes that you remember -- or maybe even the best one in AMC history -- via the link below or simply by clicking here.)

How nice is it that Natalia is still meddling in her dad's love life. This time, though, she's embraced Angie as the woman that Jesse loves. I still think AMC could have gotten mileage out of keeping Natalia's mom, Rebecca, alive.

Don't call it a comeback -- or even a resurrection -- but Madison North is once again walking amongst the living. C'mon, you didn't really think she'd died off-screen, did you? As she hid in the closet at Frankie and Randi's apartment, I wanted to play that song from The Wizard of Oz where Glinda sings, "Come out, come out, wherever you are." My only grumble with the storyline was that Frankie didn't seem the least bit surprised to open the closet door and find Madison inside. I wanted him to jump back and maybe even muffle a curse word or two. I don't think Frankie even flinched.

Randi, meanwhile, I found hilarious. As Frankie stood frozen in place, Randi had a one-liner than maybe wasn't supposed to be funny -- but it was to me. "Find something to tie her up with," Randi snarled. It made me think of an old western or a Scooby-Doo cartoon. There was a momentary glare when it looked like Randi might revert to her hooker days and cut Madison. Meanwhile, Madison has professed that she wants to do the right thing and turn herself in, but claims that she isn't sure how to do it without implicating Jesse and Randi. Lie, chick! It's not like you don't know how to do that!

As much as I love a good troublemaker, I had to ask: why is this woman still around? Have the woman confess to murdering her husband and let's move on with it. Madison won't confess for a crime she committed and Kendall confessed for one she never committed. Madison faked her death and Kendall is on the run. On what planet does this make sense?

As much as I love Adam, it would serve Zach, Erica, and Ryan right if Adam dropped dead and left Kendall without reasonable doubt. He could have gone somewhere and faked his death -- and secretly created a life of hell for all those who'd wronged him.

Is it just me, or does it seem like a lot of the residents of Pine Valley are trying their damnedest to make us dislike them? Ryan not only badgered Adam until he nearly dropped dead, but he did the same thing to Annie in the hospital. It was wonderful to see the smug expression on his face (and that of Erica and Zach, too) crack when Jake announced that Annie was pregnant.

Meanwhile, Amanda and David are preparing to do the do in the backseat of a car so that Amanda can get David out of her life. I assure you that this is not the point in the column where we all gather around and share our regrets over people who we've slept with in the past. However, I just don't think that Amanda would have sex with David again knowing that it will probably ruin any chance that she and Jake can have a happily ever after. Does she really think David will not tell Jake about their roll-a in a Corolla?

With Greenlee returning to the canvas in the weeks ahead, that probably means that Nurse Gayle is going to pop up again, too. How much do you want to bet that David will tick her off and she'll reveal to him that she doctored paperwork that showed that David was the father of Amanda's baby. Maybe the time of conception was wrong. Jake and Amanda can finally have their fairytale ending... complete with the fact that by then she'll be pregnant by David -- for real this time.


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