I smelled a rat - and I hate rats
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AMC Two Scoops: I smelled a rat - and I hate rats
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The week of March 30, 2009
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Sometimes fans complain that what they see on-screen on All My Children doesn't fly because it's not realistic. It made me think about some of what is real and not-so-real in Pine Valley lately. I look forward to reading your emails about what you think is realistic on the show.

Sometimes fans complain that what they see on-screen on All My Children doesn't fly because it's not realistic. It made me think about some of what is real and not-so-real in Pine Valley lately. I look forward to reading your emails about what you think is realistic on the show.

The Hubbards are the most real family on All My Children. You can make an argument that the whole Papel saga and Jesse having a secret life for 20 years was hardly realistic, but I am talking about the here and now. The dialogue for all the Hubbards is real, current, and it doesn't feel soapy. Real is Randi and Frankie moving up their wedding date because they wanted to spend as much time together as a married couple before Frankie was redeployed to Iraq. Real is Angie taking care of Little A and reminiscing about the days when she had little ones of her own. Real is Natalia realizing that, after going to Frankie and Randi's quickie wedding, that her own mother would not be at her wedding. So often on soaps, things just get forgotten. It's nice to see that this pretty big detail - even if Natalia and her mother were minor characters - was not overlooked.

Ditto to Zach looking at Myrtle's photo and flashing back to a conversation that he'd had with her.

What is not real to me is the fiasco that is Ryan-Kendall-Zach. It is really of no interest to me at all. Let's break down the good parts first. I enjoy a good tortured lovers story. Okay, that covers the good. Oh, wait. There's one more. I like that at least Ryan had the wherewithal to know that his sleeping with Kendall was a bad idea. Kendall was still basking in the afterglow as the sun rose, thanking Ryan for being there for her. What is it with people on this show hopping in bed with someone every time someone dies (or is presumed dead)?! I guess what messes everything up for me is that I just don't get it. The "why" just doesn't make sense to me. Kendall wants Ryan, but then gets upset when Zach is annoyed that she and Ryan are spending time together. It's one way or the other, Kendall. You're either a Zendall or a Rendall - there's no RyZendall. What I think is that she needs a little time as Kendall to figure out why she's feeling the way that she is. There's nothing wrong with some me time.

Also not real, though entertaining, is the ease with which people can bribe a judge. At least, I hope it's not real. That would really shake my faith in the legal system. I like that Erica is doing something for someone other than herself or her family for a change. Is she immersing herself in the Little A custody hearing because she wants something from someone? I don't think so. Is she doing it because she is in love with Adam? I don't think so on that one either. I may be giving Erica too much credit, but I think Erica just wants to see the right side win for a change.

Isn't it interesting how Colby has become the moral compass of the Chandler family? Remember when she breezed back into town as a little hell-raiser? Those days seem long gone.

Had I been playing the drinking game this week, I might still be tipsy while writing this. Everyone wants to kill David Hayward - even if they aren't saying it aloud. On my weekly internet radio show last week, a caller told me that even she wants to kill David Hayward. The only person that I can think of that might not want David dead is Natalia-oh, and maybe Reese. I'm running the opening credits through my head and trying to think of anyone in them that doesn't want to throttle David. I still don't believe that David will be killed off, but I do think that he could pretend to be dead for a while... just to make everyone that he hates squirm.

If you're keeping track at home, add another stroke next to the tally of "Injured by glassware." I believe we're up to three now so far this year. ABC must have gotten a sale on breakaway props - or maybe they are just finishing off some leftovers from back when the tornado hit.

Bianca returns to Pine Valley in late April. Will she and Reese find their happily ever after? Well, in an interview, Eden Riegel hints that the Rianca reunion will be kind of happy. Really? Kind of happy? I love Bianca and I think Eden Riegel is phenomenal, but I am getting a little bored with Bianca having a new once-in-a-lifetime love every two years or so. AMC should be applauded for all it has done with

If you haven't read the news yet, Liza Colby is returning to Pine Valley. Unfortunately, the talented Marcy Walker will not be reprising the role. I actually sighed as I typed this paragraph. I really am not a fan of recasting "legacy" roles, as ABC calls them. You recast Frankie Hubbard, that's fine. You recast little Emma, that's swell. You recast a role that has been around for more than 20 years... and it presents a problem. I know that Marcy Walker is unavailable. She is busy tending to important matters in North Carolina, but Marcy Walker is Liza Colby. I am willing to give newcomer Jamie Luner a chance, but this is hardly the huge, massive, earth shattering casting announcement that head writer Charles Pratt, Jr. hinted to in an interview last month. Also disappointing is that Liza will return as a lawyer. A lawyer?! Why not keep Liza as a mogul in the television business? Liza leaves town and changes careers more often than Clark Kent goes into a phone booth and transforms into Superman.

Boo to the folks provided the closed captioning this week. On more than one occasion, the scroll referred to Adam and his family as "the Chancellors." I know that The Young and the Restless has been the top soap for over 20 years, but that doesn't mean that the names should be mixed up. Maybe ABC thought more people would tune in if AMC looked more like Y&R. In another amusing error, when Kendall was explaining her sleeping with Ryan to Zach, it was captioned as "a meat stake." You can write your own jokes to that one.


Dan J Kroll
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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