Remember last column, when I talked about my tendency to cry at anything even slightly emotional? Well, it turns out that rule doesn't apply when it comes to the death of Babe Carey Chandler. I watched Babe get attacked, I watched her in the hospital, I watched her love ones gather and keep vigil while she was in surgery. But apart from welling up a little when Krystal said goodbye to her daughter's dead body, I didn't need a single tissue. That's how much I hate this character.
Of course, the fact that I knew all along that Babe wasn't dead, but being hidden in the casino by Josh, Zach and Kendall (among others), might have had a little to do with it. But honestly, I wouldn't blink an eye if Babe shuffled off Pine Valley's mortal coil. In fact, I'd be happy to see her go. In fact, if she were really dead, I might be able to stomach everyone falling all over themselves, saying what a wonderful woman she was.
I did get a little teary watching the funeral at the end of the week, but I really, really hated the fact that it was a joint service for Babe and Dixie. No matter how you feel about her, Dixie Cooney deserved a funeral all her own. She's been a huge part of AMC for decades and to not give a proper memorial is another example of the disrespect being shown to a beloved character. Speaking of which, I wanted to smack JR when he went off on Zach for being the reason his mother and wife are dead. You know, because everyone should be held responsible for the actions of a psychotic third part who is killing innocent people to punish you for things you did when you were FIVE YEARS OLD!
What infuriated me even more, however, was being forced to watch Bianca eulogize the woman who stole her child. I've said before that I don't mind Binks not actively hating Babe, but this was too much to stomach. "I wish that I'd said this to you when you were here," Bianca said. "I accept your apology. I forgive you. You'll always be in my heart." It's that last part that really ticked me off. You'll always be in my heart? Are you kidding me? I might be able to ignore this craziness if I knew for sure that Babe was dead and gone, but what scares the heck out of me is that Babe isn't dead. She'll be back before we know it - and what will Bianca do then? I cannot accept Babe and Binks in any type of long term friendship. It cheapens the pain Bianca experienced when she lost Miranda and, in my opinion, it spits in the face of the viewers who suffered along with her.
I had the same type of reaction watching JR's guilt after Babe's death. I am not saying that what Junior did to Babe wasn't cruel, but I have a real problem with him feeling guilty about it ONLY because she died. In my humble opinion, JR had every reason to hate his soon-to-be-ex-wife, and vice versa. I hate the fact that JR and Bianca are both waxing poetic about a woman who caused them so much pain, no matter what they once felt for her. I don't think death should automatically absolve Babe of all her transgressions. Remember her for who she was. She DID cheat on JR, she DID steal Miranda, she DID do countless awful things in the name of love. To sugarcoat any of it now because you feel guilty for treating her accordingly while she was alive is ridiculous.
I do have to give credit to Bobbie Eakes for her performances this week. She did an excellent job portraying Krystal's grief, both in the quiet moments and the over-the-top, throw-yourself-on-the-coffin ones. What really surprised me, though, was the intensity of Krystal's anger at her son-in-law. I don't think she was that mad when JR tried to kill Babe! Kudos to Bobbie for making me buy Krystal's rage, even if I don't sympathize with the character.
This is Love?
Speaking of characters for whom I have no sympathy, how about that Erica Kane? Her scenes with Josh were really sweet, but then she had to go and screw things up by pulling her huffy woman scorned B.S. When Erica showed up for Jack's help, her found him lip-to-lip with Barbara, who came to visit Sean and snag Jack in the process (Maybe it's just me, but I don't remember Babs being such a bitch) As usual, when Jack wouldn't snap into line and drop everything to find Josh - who had "left town" but was actually still in PV taking care of Babe - Erica freaked out. Never mind that Jack is busy trying to find the serial killer whose last target is her daughter. When Erica says jump, Jack's line should always be "How high?"
So, she ran to Jeff and slept with him. "I've tried to do this on my own, to take care of my family, my son. But I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to do this without you." Newsflash, Erica - the only reason you were alone is because you pushed Jack away with both arms. You moved out so you could find yourself, and because he wasn't ready to take you back at the exact moment you wanted to return, you pushed him away again. I honestly can't take this crud anymore. This is a grown woman who has apparently not learned a single thing about relationships despite having more of them than the law should allow. I'm done. I could care less who she ends up with, because I have no reason to believe that this insanity will stop after the next wedding. Act your age, La Kane, and I might start giving a damn again.
Another romance I don't care about? Ryan and Annie. I find these two insufferably boring. Was that love scene supposed to be sexy or romantic? Personally, my favorite part was when Ryan explained that the stables had just been rebuilt, but failed to mention that reason why - because Emma's new Uncle Jonathan had murdered the former owner of the house there and then burned down the building to cover up his crime. I guess that would have put a damper on the romance, though. But you know what? As long as this keeps Ryan away from Kendall, I'm fine with it. I'll sit through a million rolls in the hay (literally!) if it means I never have to hear Ryan declare his non-existent to true love to my girl ever again.
Happy Valentine's Day!
As usual, Zach and Kendall were the highlight of my week. The Valentine's episode (save for the aforementioned Ryan/Annie ickiness) was excellent. AMC very wisely decided to keep things light and fun with Zach and Kendall, and it was a nice reprieve from all the death and depression in the Valley lately. Unlike some other Zach/Kendall moments, these scenes were perfect for this couple. They were casual, fun and sweet without being maudlin. Even after all of the crud they've had to deal with, they can still make me giggle like a schoolgirl when they're allowed to shine. Zach characterized the day as a reminder of what they were fighting for. I couldn't agree more. Another highlight of the V-Day episode was the slightly cheesy balloon scene, where all the residents of Wildwind wrote Valentines to their lost loved ones. What I really loved about it is that AMC didn't limit it to the victims of the serial killer. Tad wrote cards for Grandma Kate and his sister Jenny, Julia remember Noah and her father Hector, Aidan wrote a card for his cousin Leora, and Amanda remembered her father. Heck, Mandy even made a card for the dearly departed Dillon family dog, Harold! Very nice touch, writers!
Odds & Ends (& Spoilers!) I found the Colby and Adam scenes surprisingly watchable this week. I especially appreciated the fact that Colby was honest about her grief. She wasn't crying for Babe, JR or Krystal, she said - she was crying out of guilt. I just found it refreshing that she was so upfront about it all.
We got another Greenlee mention this week, this time from Jack, who told Ryan that Greens had been in touch about the Fusion murders. The most interesting line? When Jack said he convinced Greenlee to stay out of town, which tells me the character is definitely coming back, with or without Rebecca Budig in the role.
(Click here to stop reading now if you don't want to know anything about the identity of the Satin Slayer)
Okay, you've been warned. Ethan's mother, Hannah Nichols, is the latest suspect in the serial killings, but if you've read any of the soap mags or websites, you know Alexander Cambias Sr. is the real culprit. I've been back and forth on this since I found out about it and I'll talk more about it my next column. But I can honestly say that I can't wait for Ryan to find out that his "hero" Alex Sr. was the one who killed his sister. Maybe that will shut him up for a while. What? A gal can dream, can't she?
That's all for me. Remember, you can now check out old Two Scoops columns dating back two years -- and all of them are available in a printer-friendly format. Have a great week!