Nothing says "I do" like a chalk outline near the altar

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Nothing says I do like a chalk outline near the altar
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The week of February 7, 2011
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Two Scoops is a weekly opinion column about all things All My Children. Check in every week to see if you agree or disagree with what our columnists have to say!

I'm puzzled by why Greenlee would ever suggest that she and Ryan should get married at Fusion. Sure, I know that in the era of cost-cutting, it's not economically feasible for soaps to construct new sets for a once-and-done event. But Greenlee's explanation was a jaw-dropper. "This place always makes me happy," Greenlee beamed.

Yeah, me too. I remember when Simone and Erin were murdered there. Good times. Then there was the whole government-imposed shutdown when it looked like the books were doctored. I also vaguely remember the company being shuttered because one of the products was believed to have been tampered with. Oh, and Annie stabbed Erica downstairs in ConFusion. Nothing says "I do" like a little chalk outline near the altar.

I know that it's still a little too soon to be completely certain, but I don't really see why AMC needed to recast Marissa. The direction of the character hasn't changed. There have been plenty of times in the past where a character seems almost unrecognizable following a recast -- new attitude, new storyline, the whole shebang.

Krystal, however, sure has had a change of attitude. In this economy, it's probably not the best idea to tell people that they can't frequent your establishment. Rather than banning Annie from coming in, why not tell her that you have curbside pickup. That way you can still make some money off of your enemies.

While Krystal doesn't seem to keep her enemies close, it sure does look like she wants to keep Jack close. Ahem. As she comforted Jack, she let it be known that if she and Jack were a couple, nothing could keep her from running home to him.

We've been assured that this "thing" between Erica and Caleb wouldn't break up Erica and Jack. I do admit that I like Jack and Erica as a couple, and I want them to be happy and stop with all the high school antics. Yeah, you guessed it -- there's a "but" coming. I can't for the life of me believe that any writers would allow them to be happy. Their story would dry up, and it would only be a matter of time before Walt Willey (Jackson) was written out of the show.

Krystal hasn't had a meaningful story in ages. Unless, of course, you count kicking people out of her restaurant. I'd thought that Krystal and Caleb would end up as a couple, but maybe that was too easy. There'd be no conflict. So now Jack is disrupting people's meals by hollering for Erica and Caleb to "get a room." Between that and the Annie debacle, Krystal may wanna consider putting some "Buy One, Get One" coupons in the paper because no one's going to want to eat there.

I thought Ryan's rooftop torturing of David was a little over-the-top. Okay, so maybe David did try to kill Ryan. Ryan is supposed to be the knight in shining armor, though. He's supposed to be better than David. When I say "supposed," I'm referring to what the show and network executives seem to be pushing -- not what I personally believe.

I do, however, have to say that I bow down to Ryan's plot to frame David. He went as far as to hire a helicopter to hover over Pine Valley Hospital in order to make it look like David was trying to escape. I've seen people go to some lengths to frame other people, but that took the cake.

Brot and Natalia's complicated relationship continues to entertain me. How heroic -- and very much in character -- was it for Brot to resign from the Pine Valley Police Department in order to spare Natalia and Jesse from any headaches? Granted, his scribbled resignation letter was a little melodramatic, but I do think that it showed that the decision was hard for Brot to make. Had he gone in for a face-to-face resignation, I'm pretty sure he would have backed out or been overcome with emotion. You know how men don't like to show feelings...

But then it was time for the "D'oh!" moment when Brot learned that Natalia had not only gone on a job interview, but landed a job with the Philadelphia Police Department. If you're wondering: Yes, there is a 16th Precinct -- it's in West Philly by the University of Pennsylvania. It's weird, though, because when I called over to talk to her -- none of the cops on duty had any idea who she was. Maybe she hasn't officially started yet.

Kendall, meanwhile, was asked out on a date by the good Reverend Ricky. So many of you have said that you like the chemistry between Ricky and Kendall more than the romantic vibes between Kendall and Griffin. One of my readers, Susan, sent me a message that asked a question about this storyline that really got me thinking. I'm not going to repeat what she said because it could potentially ruin a surprise -- but I'm curious if anyone else thinks that there's more to this story than meets the eye.

Why is it that on a soap everyone seems to have these rare medical predicaments that can only be solved by the one person that hates them? C'mon! Kendall collapses in jail, so of course she needs a cardiologist who is out of reach behind bars -- and he also happens to have dirt on Kendall. In the real world, people just collapse. No one's around, and if they are... they just step over you and keep on walking.

I know that a lot of you are annoyed by Annie's (re)descent into madness. Say what you will about Crazy Annie, but last week's confrontation scenes between Melissa Claire Egan and Jacob Young showed why AMC is going to take a hit when Egan exits the canvas next month. There is such an undeniable chemistry between these two performers -- and the more powerful the scenes, the more powerful their performances. As a complete and random aside, I am still trying to figure out what hotel would have louvered doors on their guest rooms. I'd imagine that the Yacht Club caters to an exclusive clientele ... the kind that wouldn't want to be so accessible to the outside world.

I have to admit that I am somewhat tickled by the crooked camera angles used when Annie is going through one of her mental meltdowns. You can watch AMC with the sound muted and know when Annie is having a moment. Part of me wishes there was something like that in real life, so I could instantly know by looking at someone when they need to have some quiet time alone in the corner.

And with that, it's time for me to go quietly to the corner. No, I won't be writing the remainder of the column in italics. It's just that it's time to close up shop for this column. Next week, there will be another tryout from someone who wants to be a regular Two Scoops columnist -- and then I will be back in two weeks to share with you my All My Children musings.


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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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