Unwritten Pine Valley commandments

For the Week of June 3, 2013
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Unwritten Pine Valley commandments
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A lot happens in Pine Valley, but there are certain things that you just can't do. Whether it's forbidden love, secret sex clubs, or calling Dr. Joe names, some people still press their luck. You shallt read this week's Two Scoops, so click here... you know you want to.

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I realize that set space is at a premium, but I don't like the fact that we've never seen where Bianca and Miranda are supposedly living? Every time they pop up, Miranda is having a sleepover at the Chandler Mansion. And now Bianca is flitting off to Washington, DC, and leaving Miranda to play musical beds -- but not the kind that her grandmother used to play.

I was about to type that it makes Bianca look like a bad parent, but maybe there's a bit more going on there. Bianca is quite obviously still grieving Marissa, and I wonder if that inability to find some sort of closure has made her a little more distracted than what we're used to seeing. I just don't want this to be a case of what happened a few years back with Mimi Reed and her daughter, Danielle. Mimi was a wonderful, doting parent on-screen -- and then when they brought her back after a few years off-screen, she was the world's worst mother. That never sat well with me, and I don't want to see something similar happen with Bianca.

I was sort of taken aback when Miranda sassed that she didn't want to have to choose between her mother and her best friend, a clear indication that Bianca was going to come out on the losing end of that one. I know a lot of what she's saying is spurred by teenage hormones and growing up, but I have a feeling Miranda is going to explode when Bianca and Zach tell her the truth about her father's identity.

So what do we think of AJ and these glances with drugs and alcohol? Are we getting a foreshadowing of some sort of future dependency storyline, or are the writers attempting to show that AJ really is bucking the Chandler trend? Every time I go "uh-oh" and think he's going to do something, AJ turns me into a liar. I have to think that there is a part of AJ that associates drugs and alcohol with his father, someone that he doesn't want to be like in any way. That could very well be the biggest dissuasion from going down that dangerous path.

That may very well be where Cara is headed, though. There has certainly been no overt mention that there is anything romantic going on between Cara and JR, but even Brooke warned Cara not to get too close to the fire that is JR Chandler. Not that David makes the best co-signer, but I'm glad that I am not the only one that suspects that JR could be fibbing about what he does and does not remember. I'm willing to cede that he probably has some temporary memory loss, but I bet that in the near future, we'll have a moment where something happens that lets us (the audience) know that JR is back -- to his old tricks, that is.

No matter what sort of dastardly deeds David does, he always goes back to his standard quip of something along the lines of, "What about all the good things I've done?" David isn't a two steps forward, one step back kinda guy -- he's more like two steps forward and two steps back. I've always liked David, so maybe I am not an impartial jurist, but I do think that he's done a lot to help people over the years. He even helped the entire town get the "feeling" again.

There is another crime to add to David's lengthy list (check out his Who's Who in Pine Valley character profile if you don't believe me): he called Dr. Joe a "hard-ass." That has to violate some sort of unwritten Pine Valley commandment!

Pete went, as the kids say, "gangsta" when he learned that David Hayward was planning trying to court Cortlandt Electronics to develop a new biotech device. I suspect some of that rage was, like I said about Miranda, fueled by hormones. He can say how different Celia is from all the other girls he's dated, but he's not selling that snake oil to me. I don't think he's just out to see Celia's deal-ias, but that doesn't mean that he isn't thinking about having sex with her.

The mystery man popped up again last week, and we still have no indication whatsoever about who he is. This is the kinda soap gig that I'd be good for -- just stand there and look creepy. No lines to memorize, no need to worry about overacting. I'd even work for free -- but only for two days. Anything more than that would be too much for the fans to handle.

I like Lea and her no-nonsense, Philly/FBI attitude. Natalia, if I remember correctly, was supposedly transferred to a police station in Philadelphia -- I wonder why no one thought to call her to see if she could help with any leads.

Back to Lea, I like the tension between her and Zach. Zach's sexual innuendos seem on the money to me. That's the kind of guy that I think Zach would really be. That whole underground website discussion had me chuckling to myself. "Did you click on the naughty bits?" he asked Lea when she pooh-poohed his suggestion that there was a, um, backdoor entry into the web site. He went even further with, "You want to try to give her an orgasm. I'll explain what that is later."

I don't know if these two will ever fall into bed, but for right now, I am enjoying their chemistry.

The Cassandra storyline and everything surrounding it remains the biggest reason that I can't wait to watch each episode of AMC. Does it push the envelope at times? Sure, I guess you can say that. But even if the storyline makes you uncomfortable, I don't think there is anyone watching who isn't rooting for Cassandra's rescue.

When you add Billy Clyde Tuggle and his botched Biblical recitations into the mix, the storyline becomes, in my opinion, a little more well-rounded. The moments of humor cut some of the tension from the darkness of the storyline. When BCT (which makes me think of Bacon Cornball and Tomato) held the knife on one of his former clients, I just shook my head. Goofy or not, Billy Clyde went straight for the jugular -- and I'm not talking about the blade he was holding.

I remain hopeful that we'll get an additional episode of AMC per week at some point -- or maybe slightly longer episodes. I have no idea if that will happen, but AMC is on fire, and it's getting harder and harder to wait from Wednesday all the way until Monday for a new episode. I suppose it's better to "leave them wanting more." Speaking of wanting more, when you're done reading this column, why don't you try clicking my... special spot. You know you want to -- because that's the easiest way to send your thoughts to me. I'm talking about the email option at the end of this column. What did you think I was talking about? Actually, there is another spot you can click, the Two Scoops Archives. If you haven't read all of my columns since the relaunch of AMC, you can click here to check them out now.


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