Once again, fortune smiles on the readers of SOC's AMC Two Scoops. You were all spared the over-the-top gush-fest that I would have written last week after the reunion of Zach and Kendall. Just like the week of their remarriage in May, the schedule didn't cooperate with my fanaticism. So those of you who aren't fans of my favorite couple can consider yourselves lucky to have dodged that bullet. Those of you who love Zach and Kendall as much as I do... well, you know how I feel anyway.
Now, that's not to say that this week wasn't a great one for Zach and Kendall fans. I really enjoyed their scenes this week not only because they were romantic, but because they were realistic. In the real world, the collapse of the Slaters' marriage may have taken a couple of months, but in Pine Valley, it was closer to a couple of weeks. I love that Zach and Kendall were awkward with each other this week. After everything they've been through - and put each other through - recently, it would have made no sense for them to fall back into a lovey-dovey routine.
Going back to Erica's yacht, which served as a pretty obvious metaphor of the Slaters' relationship, was a nice touch. It reminded the characters and the audience what Zach and Kendall had survived and offered hope for the future. What was once broken can be fixed again. I'm glad AMC decided to deal with the reality of an otherwise surreal situation. That's what makes us care about these fictional people - their humanity. Speaking of which, the scenes with Zach, Kendall and Spike were also great. No offence to Ryan (who was off helping Annie, more on that later) but it was nice to see Zach step up and be a father figure to Spike while keeping Kendall calm. It was nice to finally see the Slaters as a real family.
It was also great (and long overdue) to see Zach distance himself from Dixie during his conversation with JR earlier in the week. He said what most people were thinking through this whole fake-alibi murder mystery fiasco - it's not Zach's job to watch out for Ms. Cooney. He has a family of his own, and she has more than enough family and friends to help her out. That's where she belongs. Speaking of Dixie, she went to see Kendall, to deliver what I considered to be a pretty shallow apology. "Gee, sorry I tried to steal your husband. My bad. Can you help me with [i]my[/i] problems now?" Dixie wanted Kendall's input on being an adopted child, since Dix wants to take Emma/Kate away from the only family she's ever known. Um, OK. I thought Kendall handled that situation beautifully. She was certainly a lot more sympathetic to Dixie than I would have been.
Dueling DNA Tests
While Dixie was making nice with Mrs. Slater, Tad and Aidan were busy looking for Annie and Emma, who disappeared after the Martins made their Kate theory known. Luckily for Annie, Ryan found her first and she explained her history with Dr. Madden. It turns out that Annie and Terry went to Madden to become pregnant via an anonymous sperm donor. Apparently, Terry really, really wanted a little girl - that's just nasty. When Annie was battling Terry for custody of Emma, she had a DNA test performed to prove that her pervert hubby had no genetic connection to their child. Unfortunately, the test also proved that Annie wasn't related to her little girl. (Julia found a record of the test in Annie's medical records and passed it along to Tad).
When Tad and Aidan finally tracked them down, Tad insisted on another DNA test, to which Annie refused. You can't exactly blame her. I love Tad (even if he is a murderer now) but he doesn't quite seem to grasp what's he asking Annie to do. As someone who was adopted himself, I'd expect Tad to be a little more sensitive to Annie's plight. That said, it's hard to argue that Dixie and Tad should have absolutely no right to a girl who could be their daughter.
In fact, Tad and Dixie tried to get a judge to order a new DNA test on Friday's episode. I felt badly for Tad and Annie, but I still had a hard time working up any sympathy for Dixie. I couldn't stand listening to Tad wax poetic about how wonderful a mother Dixie is, citing JR as example number one. I love JR, but he isn't exactly a model citizen - and you could argue that Dixie abandoning him led to most of his problems. In any case, the judge used common sense to make his ruling, saying that Tad and Dixie couldn't use a questionable DNA test (the one performed by David) to order a new one. The judge did call child protective services on Annie after the hearing, though. What the heck is up with that?! It's pretty sad when I want to cheer for the newbie against Tad and Dixie.
Of course, Tad promised Dixie they would do anything they had to do to get their daughter, at which point we cut to Ryan and Annie coming home to find Emma missing. Cue the suspenseful music!
Dr. David Strikes Again... and Again...
David, the architect of the controversy surrounding Emma/Kate, continued to stir things up this week. He ordered a DNA test on Krystal's bundle of joy, and found out that Tad is the father (no big surprise there). Poor Tad. He's chasing after a missing daughter, finds out he might have a new one, and then gets his heart broken by Krystal, who told him Adam's the daddy. It just makes me hate Krystal all the more. She's going to hurt two characters I care about while trying to cover up her latest mistake. Oh, to live in a Carey-free world!
David also tried his best to bust up his daughter Babe's marriage by exposing her affair with Josh. The Babe-related drama really got on my nerves. First of all, she showed up at David's cabin for the first time in ages playing the daddy-daughter card. I'm sorry, but I don't buy this sudden concern from Babe. She said she came over because Krystal told her David was fired up about something, which to me just said that Babe was over there to bat her eyelashes and cover her adulterous butt. It also ticked me off that Babe wouldn't even admit what she had done to her father. David then spilled the beans to JR and Josh at the Valley Inn. JR offered Josh a job at Chandler Enterprises - I guess the writers are determined to make JR look like a total fool. When David asked him to confirm the affair, Josh couldn't bring himself to trash Babe's life and denied the accusations. So close!
Personally, I have no problem with Dr. Hayward doing everything he can to break up Babe and JR. From his perspective, it makes perfect sense. As I said earlier, I love Junior, but he did try to kill the woman he claims to love. He needs out of that relationship. The only drawback, in my opinion, is that Babe may end up with Josh, who I also like. But I'll hold my nose, tough it out and wait for an Amanda/Josh pairing if I have to.
David seems to have started an "Enemies List" this week - JR, Tad, Dixie, Ryan, Zach, Adam, Krystal and Jamie. The inclusion of Ryan was a little surprising. They definitely have a rocky history, dating back to the Princess Gillian era, but there haven't had too much reason to clash lately. Putting Zach on the list is a little odd to me as well. Yes, there's the Dixie issue, and before that there was the Maria/Maureen unpleasantness, but it's not like they're constantly in each other's' faces. I just hope, for selfish personal reasons, that Zach doesn't suffer too much at David's hand, especially since it might affect Kendall and the Kanes if he does. As for Ryan... take your best shot, Davey!
Odds & Ends
The teens were so-so this week. I actually didn't hate Colby's scenes with Sean, where he apologized for taking Colby's virginity in a less-than-romantic setting. The talk they had about sex and school actually seemed like a conversation real teenagers would have, which was nice. Of course, that all went out the window when Sydney showed up and the childish winner-takes-Sean contest started up again. I hope these three recede into the background for sweeps. It was nice to have Bianca stick up for her brother, however, and I loved Adam laying down the law with young Montgomery.
Di and Aidan shared about five seconds of screen time this week, and I'm glad that their conflict about Tad was short-lived. Now they just need to be on more than once a week. I felt horrible for Amanda when Jonathan decided not to break her heart by breaking her heart. Mandy deserves better than that. Speaking of which, I enjoyed Josh's scenes with Jeff and Erica as they try to get a handle on being a family. And I suppose I should be worried about Jack and Erica's marriage - Bianca certainly is - but I'm just not. Maybe I'm just immune to Erica's martial difficulties, since I've seen so many of them over the years. Plus, I'm kind of liking Jeff these days, so I wouldn't mind seeing a real triangle, even if I'm not quite sure who to root for yet.
Well, that's it for me. I won't be around for my next column in two weeks, as I'm heading down to Florida for ABC's Super Soap Weekend. So until next time, have a good one!