Camping in its own right is one scary nightmare to me (no electricity or indoor plumbing,) but it's nothing compared to the slaughter that the teens camping at Raven Lake experienced this week. The survivors who make it out of that massacre are going to need years of therapy. (Not to mention a new wardrobe to replace all those ripped, bloody clothes.)
The teen slasher storyline is beyond creepy, and as much as I hate that it ripped off every horror movie I've ever seen, it's been engrossing television. Thumbs up to the writers for depicting teens acting like teens: drinking beer (illegally), fighting with water guns, playing touch-football games, fighting, getting jealous and making out. The bloodbath at Raven Lake had me on the edge of my seat, as the slasher killed teen after teen, and I usually detest horror movies. The best part of this story is that I still don't know the identity of the slasher. I had pegged rapist Louis as the bad guy, but since the slasher stabbed him, I guess he's not the killer. That leaves Eve and Jade as my next suspects, or long shot B.J. Greene (fingers crossed that it's him.)
The outdoor location scenes were excellent, too. It added an element of fun and reality seeing the teens swimming in an actual lake and running in actual grass. It's nice to see the show get out of the studio. My only complaint was that the night scenes were so dark I could barely see the characters. What kind of campers are these kids that they didn't even bring a flashlight?
--Stop the presses. According to Carly, Jack Snyder hasn't been to the mall in five years. I can't comprehend it, Scoopers. How is that possible? Where did Jack pick up the idea for that trendy, messy hairdo, if not at the mall? Has he been taking hair-grooming tips from Henry?
--Casey Hughes can't be dead, can he? Maddie didn't check for a pulse, so I'm assuming he's still breathing. No thanks to any of his so-called pals, who didn't stop to help him or carry his body out of there. Speaking of dead teens, why did they have to kill Alex the "allergy guy?" He was hilarious. With all of his talk of "You can never be too careful" and you should "always be prepared for an emergency," he may as well of had a red, blinking error pointing to him saying, "next murder victim."
--I'm predicting right now that Simon's building is going to collapse on someone, probably Carly or perhaps Mike and Katie. Simon would probably call me a drama queen, but the mention of structural problems and Mike's warnings seem like foreshadowing to me.
--Thumbs up to the writers of this week's show. Despite the heavy drama going on at Raven Lake, they managed to give cast veterans meaningful, well-written scenes, too. Emma, Lucinda, Kim, Tom and Margo all had fabulous B stories going on, too. The writers struck a perfect balance between the teens and the adults by getting Emma involved in Luke's gay storyline, Lucinda involved in Lucy's drama and Kim, Tom and Margo involved in the teens' ordeals.
--Just like rain in spring, you can always count on Paul to deliver the bling when asking the woman he's dating to be his wife. I swear his last three engagement rings have been three carats at least. That jeweler must love this guy.
--I forgot how much I enjoy Tom and Margo. The scenes between them weren't plot-driven or gimmicky, and that was nice for a change. The couple was shown relaxing, having a beer, spending quality time and discussing their fears as parents. That was real storytelling, simple and sweet. Well done.
--When you're wrong, say you're wrong. That must have been the motto in Oakdale this week. Dusty admitted he shouldn't have blamed Lucy for Jen's death. Margo beat herself up for pushing Maddie out of Casey's life. And I'm pretty sure Simon apologized to Carly for something he did wrong, as that seems to happen on a daily basis. It's nice to see characters admit when their wrong. It humanizes the characters and makes the audience forgive them for their past behavior. Those are small moments, but necessary.
--When did Dusty become the social police? His bellowing to Lucy that she should stay away from Paul may have come out of fear for her, but his strong-handed tactics are wearing thin. He needs to lighten up.
--Jade fans came out in force after my last column. I received several e-mails from folks who love her character. Many of you think she's the new bad girl Oakdale needs. Jade didn't click with me from the beginning, the way former bad girls Katie and Carly did. But it's nice to have a villian on the show who's not killing people.
--I couldn't help but laugh at the teens who were quickly trying to escape from the killer at the lake when they spied the keg of beer. After the slaughter they'd just witnessed, getting out of there should have been foremost on their minds, but one traumatized teen wanted to stop for a drink. Priceless.
--Thumbs up for Jade defending Luke against Kevin's viscous verbal assault when Luke came out of the closet. Kudos to all three actors for those riveting performances.
--Will Munson is quite the athlete, but during his shirtless football scene, I just wanted to pass him a bottle of sunscreen for that glowing white skin.
--Emma's scene with Meg and Holden about Luke's homosexuality was one of the highlights of the week. She felt left out that no one had told her, and her reaction was realistic. Emma is old school, but realized the she loves Luke regardless of his sexual orientation. Still, it's hard for her to take, and she played it perfectly.
--Poor Mike. He brought home accessories for sex, only to have his wife suddenly realize she had something else to do. Speaking of, what was so urgent that Katie had to leave their love nest so abruptly? Was she really that upset over Carly and Simon? Mike needs to wake up and smell the massage oil. It's obvious Katie isn't over Simon.
--I'm pretty sure Gwen will never eat marshmallows again. Seeing bloodstained marshmallows on top of a friend's dead body is an image you just don't get over.
--I couldn't help but chuckle when Emma uttered this line about her gay grandson coming to visit her: "I was hoping he'd come out." (She didn't know he was gay at the time.)
--Have these kids never seen a horror movie? Don't they know never to go to the lake when a body-slashing killer is on the loose?
--Since when does Katie know fashion labels? She asked Carly if she was wearing a Giorgio and then grabbed the back of her dress in search of a label. Tacky, Mrs. Kasnoff.
--I love the Carly/Simon scenes, but can he please connect with some of his other Oakdale pals soon? Paging Nancy, Henry and Lucinda.
--Good for Lucy for putting Dusty in his place this week. It's about time someone did.
--Yay for Henry for laying off the booze this week. There are some problems that a martini can't fix.
Best Lines of the Week (Carly enjoys Simon's embarrassment when she catches him naked at work.) Carly: "I was thinking." Simon: "Yeah, a little less thinking and a little more passing of the clothes."
(Henry sees Emily at the Lakeview and asks why she's disobeying her doctor's orders.)
Henry: "What happened to complete bed rest?"
Emily: "Well, I can't run my publication from bed, Henry."
Henry: "Well, Hugh Hefner does it. (pausing) I thought your doctor said that your blood pressure read like the Dow Jones?"
Henry: "My doctor says I can resume normal activities."
Henry: "Define normal, in Emily terms."
Emily: (pausing) "I can't. You?"
(Henry and Emily talk about her happiness.)
Emily: "Paul and I are actually in a good place."
Henry: "He's dead?"
(From Two Scoops reader Tracy)
I love Carly and Simon together! Finally, someone who adores Carly for the playful, imperfect woman she is and someone to accept the playful, imperfect man that Simon is. Both of them were trapped in relationships that were based on going against the grain instead of with it! Look at the fireworks when you just accept yourself and your imperfections!
(From Two Scoops reader Phyllis)
I know a lot of viewers hate Jade, and would love to see her killed off, but even though I don't like the character, you must admit she's never boring. She's a character that is easy to love to hate, and if all we ever had on the show were sweet characters it would soon be as dull as ditchwater. So, hate Jade all you want, it's really easy to do, but for Pete's sake let's keep her on the show.