Run, it's the pod people!

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OLTL Two Scoops: Run, it's the pod people!
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The week of February 9, 2009
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Nora's sharp, spunky, and witty. She has an impressive career, and she's also a loving and wonderful mother. When exactly did she turn into Gloria Allred?

I am thoroughly convinced that there are several patches of land scattered throughout Llanview with empty pods. It's the only explanation that I have for what has been happing on One Life to Live over the past few weeks.

Let's start with Nora. I love Nora. She's sharp, spunky, and witty. She is the kind of woman we can admire. She not only has an impressive career but she's also a loving and wonderful mother. It's why it absolutely breaks my heart to see her these days. When exactly did Nora turn into Gloria Alldred?

Even though Nora is on the side of right, she's so completely bitter that it permeates everything she says and does. The soap fan in me loved when she turned to everyone sitting in the courtroom to ask, "Who here doesn't believe that Todd Manning offed the only person who could put him behind bars for 15 years? I mean, who doesn't think that Téa now is taking the rap to save his sorry ass? Really, who? Anyone?" It was hilarious especially when not one person raised their hand. However, the Nora fan in me cringed. Nora came off as desperate and out of control. The Nora of old wouldn't have done that. She would have dropped the charges so that she could re-file at a later date, or something equally lawyerly. She certainly wouldn't have rushed to try a case before she had all her ducks in a row or allowed her hatred to cloud her judgment as Pod-Nora did.

The other pod person is David, who, coincidentally, is another character that I adore. That was until David returned as a Scary Movie version of the Dalai Lama.

I do not find the Buddhist storyline amusing. At times, it's downright uncomfortable to watch because I feel as if they are ridiculing the religion. My main problem is that it is so over the top that it went straight into the absurd, completely skipping over amusing or entertaining. I cannot help but wonder if David had converted to Judaism, returned sporting a yarmulke, the traditional long beard and sideburns (called peyots), and carrying a Torah, if they could have gotten away with some of the stereotypical jokes they've made about Buddhism. Would people have laughed if David had been walking around dispensing money advice to the people of Llanview? Would anyone have found humor in David quoting from the Torah? Somehow, I doubt it. I love David too much to want this to continue so I'm appealing to the writers - return Pod-David to whence he came. I want my real David back!!!

As for Dorian, she needs a vacation. I'm tired of her vendetta against the Buchanans. Did she learn nothing after the last time she caused mayhem for them? Apparently, she has not. Maybe when she learns the truth about the Hope/Chloe switch, she will realize that she set all those events into motion when she decided to punish Clint for spurning her. I'm not going to hold my breath though. Dorian still doesn't see how exposing Jared the way that she did led to the confrontation that ultimately cost Nash his life.

This brings me to Jessica and Natalie. To a degree, I understand Natalie's anger. What she went through was terrible and it nearly cost her and Jared their lives. However, it's not like Jessica set out to kill her. That was Tess. Sure a part of Jessica wanted Natalie and Jared to suffer for what had happened to Nash but that doesn't mean that Jessica, had she been in her right mind, would have acted on it.

If Natalie expects Jessica to be held accountable for Tess's actions, shouldn't Natalie and Jared be held accountable for the circumstances that led to Nash's death? Why is Jessica expected to forgive and move on, but Natalie isn't?

However, that's not my main gripe. My main gripe is Natalie's behavior in front of poor little Bree. Jessica was absolutely correct when she accused Natalie of using the children to punish her. That's exactly what Natalie is doing. Accusing Jessica of trying to kill her and Jared, while Bree stood clinging to her leg and listening to the entire exchange, was completely irresponsible. That child now has it in her head that her mother is capable of killing someone she loves. Of course she's going to be terrified of her mother especially when Aunt Natalie is constantly snarling at mommy.

I think it would be best for Natalie and Jared to move out of Llanfair. Her presence isn't helping those children. They should be the priority, not Natalie's hurt feelings. Ultimately, that's what I think is truly bugging Natalie. She feels rejected because her family has made Jessica a priority instead of Natalie. Well Natalie, if you want your family to put you first, maybe you should return the favor. How many times has she chosen Jared over the members of her family? Answer: Every single time.

Speaking of choosing men over family members, I have to confess, I'm beyond annoyed with Marty. She's shacking up with Wes while her son is clearly spiraling out of control. Yes, she was the victim of a horrible betrayal but that doesn't justify what she's doing to Cole. This is a woman who was happy and eager to raise an adopted child; a child that she began to love before it was even born. So why can't she love Cole, her own biological child?

When I learned I was pregnant with my children, I was not only thrilled but I instantly fell in love with my babies. I had no idea what they would be like, look like or even what their gender was, but that didn't stop me from loving them with my entire being. Therefore, I just can't understand where Marty is coming from with Cole. As a result, I find that my sympathy for her is waning as this story continues.

As much as I disliked Blair's "keep your hands off my man" shtick, she did hit the nail on the head when she accused Marty of playing the damsel in distress. That's exactly what Marty is doing although I don't think she's doing it to snag John's interest. Frankly, I don't know why any woman would want that. The man is fickle, self-absorbed and a cad for chasing after Marty while telling Blair that she's the one he wants to be with.

I digress though, John is irrelevant and this is about Marty.

Marty needs to stop feeling sorry for herself and take control of her life. I have some advice for Marty and Blair. To Marty, be your own lady in shining armor and rescue yourself. To Blair, please go to your local bookstore to pick up the book, "He's just not that into you!"

Before I sign off, I'd like to mention two very sad passages. Clint Richie (ex-Clint Buchanan) died on January 31, and Phil Carey (Asa Buchanan) passed away on February 6. It broke my heart to learn of their deaths. Although Phil and Clint originated their roles as the Buchanan patriarch and his eldest son back in 1979, which admittedly was a bit before my time, I considered them icons of this show. Both men were wonderfully gifted actors who will be sorely missed by many fans. Rest in peace gentlemen, the world is a little less bright without you in it.


Liz Masters
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