Unhappily ever after

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PS Two Scoops: Unhappily ever after
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The week of July 17, 2006
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Tabitha and Endora are truly the brightest spots on the show. It was hard to imagine that anyone would be able to take Timmy's place as Tabitha's sidekick, but Endora has managed to accomplish the impossible, and makes the show a delight to watch.

Before I begin my column, I just want to mention that this month marks four years I have been writing this column. Thanks to all you dear readers who have supported me and followed this column regularly. And a special thanks to my editor, Dan, who supports me and makes this so easy to do. I truly enjoy writing, and I truly appreciate all of you. [ED: I think I speak for the many, many readers of this column when I say that we definitely appreciate the almost-200 columns Brandi has written over the past four years. To read columns from the past two years, click here.]

I am so sick of Miguel and Kay. Why can't she be told the truth exactly? If she is well enough to jump his bones every five seconds, she's well enough to hear she's really engaged to Fox. I don't blame Fox one bit for being upset, and Sam allowing Kay and Miguel to shower together in his home is ridiculous. There is no way I'd allow my unmarried daughter to shower with any man IN MY HOUSE, let alone with the man who's already gotten her pregnant once and abandoned her. And Fox and Miguel almost coming to blows constantly is getting old.

Tabby and Endora are truly the brightest spots on this show. Four years ago, when Josh Ryan Evans died, I said that no one would ever be able to take Timmy's place as Tabby's sidekick. Endora has proved me wrong, and truly makes this show a delight to watch. Not only is she absolutely adorable, she is one of the better actresses on this show.

I'm really torn over this Theresa thing. On the one hand, she totally did the right thing. On the other hand, she totally did the wrong thing. Ethan deserves to know that EM is his son, and EM deserves to know Ethan is his father. But Theresa is right; Gwen would just take him away from her too. I mean she's done it once, she'll most definitely do it again. Theresa needs to use this opportunity to focus on her son and being a good mother so she can possibly get Jane back. And then she can move on with her life and let Ethan stay in his oh so happy marriage to Gwen.

Didn't Theresa's fantasy about telling Ethan go on just a tad bit too long? And I knew from the start it was a fantasy, as Ethan just dumped Gwen and ran to Theresa's side. He didn't dump Gwen when he found out he and Theresa shared a daughter, why would sharing a son change that? And that story about an old college chum in the same situation Ethan is in was lame. But Ethan's reaction was enough to convince Theresa to not spill the beans. While I think she made the most logical choice, this is going to come back and bite her in the butt big time.

I can see it now just as the truth about the tabloid comes out, (roughly 10 years from now) Gwen is going to learn the truth about EM and use it against Theresa. Ethan, having gone through not knowing his real father, will blame Theresa just as he blamed Ivy. Instead of leaving Gwen and living happily ever after with Theresa, Ethan stays with Gwen and sues Theresa for custody of EM, even though he is now 35 years old. (You know how they age children on soaps!!!)

And just when I think I can be on Theresa's side, she goes and wants a nun of all people to kill her because she can't live without Ethan. How does she know? Has she really tried? Has she ever really had Ethan? That alone ought to prove to her that she can live without him. Maybe Theresa should not have her children. It's obvious she never thinks about them. If she truly loved them, she'd want to live for them.

Poor Julian is going to lose his son and the love of his life most likely at the same time. Eve's crap about how TC's predicament is all her fault made me want to fast forward through those scenes. TC got his own self into this state of despair and self pity and has no one to blame but himself. This is the most useless triangle because no one really wants Eve with TC. However, if Eve being with TC will bring the old Julian back, I'm all for it. And why is it no one thought to call Simone or Whitney and tell them their father is in the hospital?

I really like this new Sheridan. She does look a bit young to be playing Sheridan (not that McKenzie looks old mind you - she's fabulous.) But this new Sheridan, Kam Heskin, can actually act. Maybe the writers can make her to be the other Crane daughter when McKenzie comes back.

Sheridan is now in early labor because she's seen Luis and Fancy being chased by lions and thinks they are dead. We the viewers knew this baby was dead the moment Sheridan found out she was pregnant. What will probably happen is Sheridan will give birth to a healthy baby and Chris will kidnap it. Sheridan will have found out Chris' dark secret, which is probably that he can't have children, therefore making the baby Sheridan is carrying really Luis' son. Seeing as how the writers love to recycle the storylines, they are getting a two fold here, as they are recycling Eve and Sheridan's storyline.

Luis should've tried to snooker Beth years ago with the ruse he has finally pulled. And poor desperate Beth doesn't even realize Luis admittedly chose her because Sheridan and Fancy were with other men. She was so delighted to be with him, she didn't even care. And are Alistair, Beth, and Marty's goose really cooked?

Some Random Thoughts:

Could Chad become interesting? What was up with that phone call he made? I bet he called Eve or Liz. Too much to hope for he's cheating on Whitney.

Endora and her "Habitat For Humanity" excuse were too cute.

I loved Ivy turning green - she looked like Shrek!!!

Noah extremely boring and Esme is a hoot!!! She pegged Fancy's feelings for Luis right off the bat.

It was great to see Pilar and Katherine again. I was beginning to wonder if they had been axed.

Viewer's Voice:

"I think Theresa with anybody but Ethan is a great idea. I think she should find a new man and be so happy that it drives Ethan to drink. Then Gwen should find a new guy and that would make everyone happy. I would like to see Martin and Rachael both written out of the show and Norma also should go. Take the mermaid and threw her back into the sea. Kay and Fox should get married so that Ivy ends up in the nut house. The problem is Passions needs new storylines before the fans give up and start watching something else. Let me say it again Passions needs new storylines, new love triangles and actors that can act." Thanks Lucida!!!

"It's time the show came up with new storylines. The ones now are getting OLD. The one with Ethan, Gwen and Theresa has been driven into ground. Lets see Ethan kickin Gwen's butt to the curb, where she belongs." Thanks Des!!!

"Well, I must say the storylines really need to be picked up. I can not stand the new Fox and Miguel... UGH. I would like to see some of the other characters already (Martin, Pilar, etc). Also, why wouldn't Whitney tell Ethan that there is something going on that she saw Gwen chase Theresa for the phone? Really, that worried about getting to sleep with Chad while others are in need! I am glad that it came out the Ethan is L.E's Dad. About time. But JT should have given her the info, he already had money in hand from Gwen. I am not a fan of TC nor can I stand Siren... mermaid... enough already. I thought the Lesbian war was hilarious! As for Fancy, how many times does she have to witness Grampie's wrath? He threw a rock at her for heavens sake! As for Luis, he could have grabbed Marty before the smoke bomb... come on now! I would like to know Chris' involvement with Alistair and the Omega sign. There needs to be a change up... I agree get some more social issues and corporate issues to work with. I would like to see Ivy get her upcomings too!" Thanks Tracey!!!

"I disagree with your thoughts on Norma. She is a welcome comic relief on a show that is usually ridiculous anyway. Her character's transformation from a murderous evil psycho to a loving psycho who thinks Alistair is her "daddy" made her endearing. I think she's funnier than Edna, and she and Edna make a great team. I think they should keep Norma. The writers could have her and Edna living together in Harmony and running the B&B. That would give Ivy more free time to go after Rebecca and Gwen when the truth finally comes out. And they could write Norma as a quirky character who has a history of violence, but who chose to get psychiatric help so she can live a normal life. She could still keep her quirkiness, but she and Edna could keep each other company. They both crack me up." Thanks Melanie!!!

"So what am I missing here? Doesn't Tabitha want Miguel with Kay so he can't be with Charity? Wouldn't helping Siren work the mermaid's curse on him work so much better than that? Since it would be a more permanent solution? I just have a difficult time buying into this whole "Miguel loves Kay so completely" thing, I just think if Charity were to wander back into harmony (I wish she would, by the way) he would drop Kay in a second. So wouldn't Siren be a better solution to Tabitha's problem? Why doesn't she help Siren? I know Siren is really just an excuse to throw Kay and Miguel together, but still, there seem to be some major inconsistencies here...nothing too new for passions, I guess." Thanks Rachel!!!

"Now that all the 'secrets' are coming out, gee, what surprises they were, it almost seems as if the show IS starting to wind down. Unless they come up with a MAJOR new storyline, with good actors, Passions is going the way of Ryan's Hope, etc. Maybe a nice spin-off, with Tabitha, Endora, etc, would work. Put it on Sci Fi. It makes me so mad to see a great show being not so slowly dumped in the trash. Is JER just tired of the show? Look for new writers. Heck, get some fans to write storylines. Can you imagine? Now THAT would be a great contest! Let me see, Sam Bennett, in cutoffs, no shirt, washing his car in the hot summer sun....oh, sorry. Sigh." Thanks MJ!!!

"Has anybody noticed how Luis does not care at all about getting his son back? All he cares about is having "insurance" when it comes to Sheridan! The scenes a few weeks ago with him grieving over the loss of his son were to me absolutely unbelievable. Why does everybody think Luis is so great? I just don't understand it. I used to like Fancy until she started crushing on him. The months when Luis was off-air were some of the greatest months in my opinion. And if I hear another person tell Alistair "I'm going to kill you!" I'm going to puke. Everyone always acts so tough until the moment comes to act upon their threats. Another side note: Did anybody notice how when Theresa knocked over J.T. on his motorcycle or whatever that was, she lay like she was dead? Give me a break! Everyone knows by now that when a person acts dead, it's a sure sign they're not. Surprise me for once JER!" Thanks Laura!!!

"Well, what a week... and the cliff hanger with Chad! He was the last one I thought would be like that. That should be interesting. I wish Gwen would get hers! As for Chris and Sheridan. I can not wait for them to break up. I like Chris' character, but I do not think they have the chemistry. Not to mention Ms. Kam really did a poor job in my opinion. Time for acting lessons! Really I do not like the Fancy & Luis thing. Fancy is so pig headed and refuses to think that perhaps Noah was right. AS for Alistair, I really wished he would meet his end differently. I am not happy that they put Marty on the train. Then the biggest heartbreak, Theresa. I think the new character coming in is going to help Ethan find out he truly wants Theresa. Not too mention it would be sweet for him to find out that Gwen is the evil conniving one that kept them apart, but have Theresa in love with another. As for the Kay/Fox/Miguel/Siren... quite old thank you. Time to really clean up storylines." Thanks Tracey!!!

Quote of the week: Gwen to Ethan: "Oh, Ethan, please, Homeland Security spends less time analyzing intelligence reports than you do trying to figure out what Theresa did or didn't say. You are so convinced that she didn't tell you whatever it was because something suddenly stopped her. Nothing ever stops her, honey. If she wanted to tell you, she would have told you. She decided on her own not to tell you. Now, can we please, please talk about anything but Theresa, her problems, J.T. Cornell, my alleged cover-up in your de-Craning, and last but not least, this big huge lie that you're living with me and Jane."

Until next week friends,

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