Fusion follies

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Fusion follies
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The week of July 23, 2007
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You know what's worse than watching a cheesy music montage of the Fusion Green photo shoot? Watching the girls of Fusion watch a cheesy music montage of the Fusion Green photo shoot.

You know what's worse than watching a cheesy music montage of the Fusion Green photo shoot? Watching the girls of Fusion watch a cheesy music montage of the Fusion Green photo shoot. And watching the girls of Fusion share childhood memories while pretending to eat ice cream sundaes? That's a close second. Maybe I'm just not "girly" enough, but I can't imagine sitting around with a group of friends, wearing matching PJ's and lip-synching Motown songs with our hairbrushes - at least not past the age of 15 (or with a few drinks in me). I especially can't picture doing all that with someone who tried to steal my child, or was sleeping with my ex-husband, or was married to the love of my life. But I'm just crazy like that.

While I could have done without the Fusion sleepover, I did enjoy the morning after when La Kane swept in and laid the verbal smack down on Greenlee. I rarely consider Erica the voice of reason, but it was definitely true in this case. It seems as though Erica and Zach are the only ones who truly see how much of a threat Greenlee is to their family. And when you have those two agreeing on something, it's time to sit up and take notice.

Of course, Ms. Kane and Mr. Slater were proven right by the end of the week. En route to their big business meeting in NYC, a terrified Kendall went into premature labor and entrusted Spike with her "best friend." Babe was driving Kendall back to Pine Valley while Greens followed along in another car with Spike in tow. And while Greenlee's "sister" was worrying about losing her baby - frightened that she had endangered her child, scared of what losing the baby would do to her husband, and praying for the health and happiness of her family - Greens decided the time was right to take back what she considered hers. When Babe picked up speed (a pretty obvious indication that Kendall's condition was worsening), Greenlee decided to stop her car, turn it around and drive off with Spike.

Greenlee = DeadToMe

I guess we were supposed to feel badly for Greenlee and understand where she was coming from. After all, it had to be difficult to listen to Babe and Kendall fawn over Spike. And it must have been torture to hear all those poorly timed commercials for fertility treatments. Plus, there were all those memories floating in her head of Kendall telling her that Spike was her child. That surely justifies stealing your best friend's baby when she's on the verge of miscarrying her second child! There really are no words to describe how much I hated Greenlee in that moment. Well, there are a few, but they're not fit to print. I'm sure there will be people that will try to justify Greenlee's actions, especially since - SPOILER ALERT - she changes her mind about the kidnapping plot almost immediately. Call me an unsympathetic bitch, but even considering running off with Spike is too much to forgive. Especially since her choices, however inadvertent, led to the car crash we saw in Friday's preview. Say what you want about Greenlee's fragile emotional state (you know, the one she largely created on her own), she is ultimately responsible for whatever horrible fate befalls Spike. And that's something I'm not willing to forgive. Needless to say, by the end of this week, I have a feeling I'll have a sore throat from screaming at the TV and be dehydrated from crying over Spike and Baby Slater. In any case, it's time for Princess Lipgloss to pack her bags and leave, again. Permanently.

Cult of Carey

While I loved Erica tossing her very vocal opinions at Greenlee, I could have lived without her attempt at matchmaking with Krystal and Adam. Don't get me wrong, Erica wasn't exactly thrilled to be pitching reconciliation to Krystal, and unlike Babe and Kendall, I doubt the two will reach any cosmic understandings. But anyone who thinks it's a good idea for Adam and Krystal to reunite is dead wrong. For a moment, it looked as though the writers were headed in that direction, when Krystal chastised Junior for his phony kidnapping and put the brakes on her relationship with Derek (thank goodness!). But then Ava spilled the beans about setting up Sean at Adam's behest, and all bets were off (again, thank goodness!). When Colby decided to move out, Krystal was right there by her side, practically taunting Adam by telling him about her new living arrangements with Jenny and Tad. Oh yeah, I can't wait for them to reunite. Adam is better off alone than to be, as he put it, a member of the Cult of Carey.

Alone is exactly what Adam is, of course, now that Colby and JR have moved out of the mansion. Colby's exit was actually pretty touching. She reminded me a bit of Hayley - they both clearly loved Adam, but were often horrified by the things he did in the name of "love." Wouldn't it be a perfect time for a little visit from Adam's older daughter? She could remind him of how he interfered in her teenage romance with Brian Bodine, and how the whole situation blew up in his face? I know it won't happen, but a gal can dream.

Don't Let the Door Hit Ya, Junior!

JR's exit, on the other hand, didn't have much of an effect on me. I felt badly for Adam, but honestly, it's hard to feel anything for Junior. He finally decides to distance himself from Adam right after he basically destroyed his father's life. He decides he doesn't have any right to run Chandler Enterprises now that the company is lost. What's supposed to be seen as growth on Junior's part looks to me like not being willing to clean up the mess he made. Sounds like the same old JR to me. And since when did JR and Amanda's fooling around become an actual relationship? All it serves to do is make Mandy look more like the vapid, selfish annoyance she was when she first came back to Pine Valley.

Speaking of annoyances, the Ava/Jonathan saga continued this week, with Jonathan reverting to full-on stupidity. You see, it didn't occur to Jonny Boy that Ava might be screwed up by the fact that he was so gentle and caring when making love to the Lily-fied version of her (as opposed to the "passionate" lovemaking they experienced before). Can this story get any creepier? I don't want to watch Ava and Jonathan discuss their love life in front of Lily! Lily is one of the most sympathetic characters on the show and if you want people to like her new stepsister, you really shouldn't have her hook up with Lily's ex. And what good does this do for Jonathan's character? In what universe is it healthy to date someone who looks exactly like your ex-wife? Even if you ignore the age factor, it still makes Jonathan seem obsessive and creepy . . . and here I was thinking they cut the bad [i]out[/i]!

Odds & Ends

* So, Greenlee was the "anonymous donor" rooting for Jack and Erica's divorce? That's funny, because ABC.com's recap of Monday's episode says otherwise. The official quote: "Jack enjoys toying with Erica before revealing he knows [b]she's[/b] the anonymous donor behind the pledge to the Miranda Center in the event of their divorce." The people at ABC really need to talk to each other and get their stories straight.

* Is it just me, or is Ryan completely unbelievable as a businessman? During their trip to New York, it just seemed like Lavery was tagging along with Zach rather than spearheading his own initiative. I wonder if this venture will be as IncredibleDreams.com? Dare to dream!

* As much as I dislike Ava, it was fun to watch her throw Krystal's mistake back in her face when Carey was acting all holier than thou.

* Tad the Cad is great, but I love Tad the Dad just as much. I think his faith in JR is misguided, but it's endearing. And seeing him reach out to Colby was both sweet and appropriate, considering Tad's long-time friendship with Liza.

Well, that's it for me, all. Have a great week.
-- Kristine

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