Sex, lies, and wiretaps

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Sex, lies, and wiretaps
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The week of March 3, 2008
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Last week, it was sex, lies, and wiretaps for Henry, and plenty of sex and lies for Vienna, Brad, and Katie, too. It seemed that everyone was telling a fib to someone...when they weren't busy getting busy, that is.

Henry Coleman, how I've missed you. I loved, loved, loved the show this week. See what happens when you give Henry Coleman a storyline and some angst? Yes, the plot with Vienna and Gray is a little contrived, but I don't care. It got Henry some major screen time and a chance to show his serious side and dive into a junk-food obsession. That was a good plot choice instead of having him turn to his usual vice, the olive-happy martini. Bravo!

It was sex, lies and wiretaps for Henry, and plenty of sex and lies for Vienna and Brad and Katie this week, too. It seemed everyone was telling a fib to someone (when they weren't getting busy,) and Henry stole the show as he worked with Jack and Carly to try to seduce Kit, to get her to confess that she killed Sam. The mistake he made was not telling Vienna about the plan. She, of course, walked in, misunderstood the situation, and went running right to sugar-daddy Gray's bed, um car seat. Like I said, yes, it's a little contrived, but it also gave us plenty of good drama this week. So, I'll take it.

It's difficult to blame Vienna too much. The woman has put up with a lot from Henry. (Backing out on their wedding, shooting down her desire for children, his gambling problem, losing the diner, etc.) Henry broke their trust first, so I can understand why she high-tailed it to Mr. Money Bags. The whole thing turned out to be a bad, yet entertaining, situation with lots of twists and turns. (I didn't see Katie and Brad getting whacked coming!) Well done, ATWT. It's about time.

In other musings:
--If you haven't heard the news, Martha Byrne (Lily) is leaving the show this spring. It was allegedly her decision. The role is expected to be recast. Those will be big shoes to fill. When an actress of Byrne's caliber has portrayed a role for as long as she has, it's tough finding a replacement. I remember the last time Lily was recast; the actress was great, but she just never seemed like Lily to me. I hope the ATWT honchos tap an actress with chops. May I suggest Robin Christopher, Lisa Peluso or Jensen Buchanan?

--In other casting news, Mike Kasnoff is returning. Before you get too excited, I'll tell you that it's not "Legendary Six Pack Man" Mark Collier. Sorry ladies. Apparently, a new actor is taking over the role. I mentioned a few columns ago, I wouldn't mind seeing Mike back in Oakdale, but I guess I should have specified that I wanted Collier or Shawn Christian. I think we've seen enough newbies in Oakdale recently. I'm a little shocked at the timing, too. Doesn't Katie have enough men panting after her between Jack and Brad? Since I'm playing casting director, how about J. Eddie Peck as new Mike? He was fantastic as Jake Martin on All My Children, and I seem to recall he had a pretty nice six-pack, too.

--It's official: Paul is Superman. There is no other explanation as to how he could have survived a car bomb with only a couple scratches (on top of already surviving a fall from a cliff, a gunshot, two airplane crashes, etc.) The dude is indestructible. If you need further proof of Paul's super powers, consider Meg's comment that Paul was "burned badly." Um, where? Oh that's right, his back that we couldn't see. What we did see was a couple bruises on his face and a bandage on his hand. I remember Barbara's burns from the fire, now that was "burned badly." I'm telling you, Craig should have used Kryptonite. That's the only way to get rid of Paul.

--I guess Katie's book sales were really good, if she had $250,000 lying around to give to Jack. I seem to recall she was broke when she and Henry were trying to manage the gym, so apparently her writing career has paid off, literally.

--Note to the writers: Please STOP writing Margo Hughes as a vapid idiot, instead of the tough, smart cop, wife, and mother she used to be. Margo was once one of my favorite characters on daytime, a true role model for women. These days, I can barely get through her scenes, as she's being conned by a punk kid and her lying son and turning a blind eye to the fact that her brother tried to kill Paul. I want smart Margo back. Please?

--So what is Matt really up to? He obviously works for the mob (Gray) but why the interest in the Hughes? Is his real job to kill Tom or Margo for a past case? Is it all about Casey? I haven't figured it out yet. I'm just hoping this means an engaging storyline for Margo and Tom.

--If Sofie is staying in town, please put her with Paul. It would make my fast-forwarding so much easier.

--It looks like Lily and Holden are on the road to reconciliation. What do you think, Scoopers? Do you want these long-time lovers back together or were you hoping to see them with different partners? With Dusty gone, I for one am happy that the Snyders are growing closer. Considering the state of relationships in Oakdale lately, it would be nice to see one young, happy couple.

--Bonnie is growing on me. I loved her scenes with Brad and her scenes fighting with Vienna. I can't wait to hear more about her past with Vienna. You just know there are some juicy stories there.

--Brad and Katie fans, you had a good week, too. Their sex scene was steamy. Forgive me though for playing skeptic. Did Katie sleep with Brad because she wanted to be with him, or simply because she was missing Jack and seeing him with Carly sent Katie over the edge? I have no idea. I've given up trying to figure out how Katie's mind works. If it's the latter, I feel sorry for Brad. The guy has fallen hard, and I fear he's going to get his heart stomped on, much the way Henry did.

--Chris and Alison were once engaged. It would be nice if they would share a scene once in a while. By the way, how great is Chris' new haircut. Love it!

--Three cheers for Brad this week. He helped Jack and Carly and, he tried to defend Henry and Vienna to that scoundrel Gray. His effort, however, was rewarded with a blow to the head for him and for Katie. I can just hear Brad now pontificating about how nice guys finish last.

--I was so nervous this week for Luke and Noah. Like Lily, I just had a bad feeling something was wrong. When those punks jumped them, I was hoping it wouldn't end up with Luke back in the hospital, yet again. We did learn that Noah has a sister. Place your bets now as to when she'll be moving into the farm with the rest of Oakdale.

--I've not been a fan of the character of Sofie since she hit town. So, I have to ask, what is it about her that attracts every male in town? (Chris, Paul, Aaron) I will say she has lovely eyelashes and is an attractive gal. Maybe that's it.

--Parker is so adept at lying, I can't even tell when he's telling the truth anymore. I'm not sure if he really left a book and needed Katie to get it, or if he was just trying to get rid of her so he could turn himself in. This kid is definitely Carly's son!

--The line to smack Gwen starts here. When she handed the baby to Sofie this week to let her hold the newborn, I had to pick my jaw off the floor. Um, hello? This crazy chick kidnapped the kid a few weeks ago. What mother would have a nice visit with the kidnapper? Where's Barbara and her common sense when you need her.

--Speaking of Barbara, I feel bad that she's braving this cancer ordeal alone. Come on, Paul or Will. Stop obsessing about your own problems long enough to realize that your mother needs you.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Henry and Vienna take the fight about Henry's alleged infidelity to work, when Vienna tries to serve him lunch at the diner.)
Henry: "I asked for the dressing on the side."
Vienna: "You want a lot of things on the side."

(Henry places a big, complicated lunch order at the diner, and the waitress just repeats it back to him, without making notes.)
Henry: "I hate it when they don't right things down."

(After Henry orders a burger, his ladylove, Vienna, walks into the diner.)
Brad: "You'd better hope she holds the onions."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Stephanie.)
"I just wanted to say that I hope that Jack and Katie will reunite with each other. Michael Park and Terri Colombino have amazing chemistry with each other. Jack is so much more happy and carefree when he's with Katie. He is someone that Katie can count out. She has forgiven Jack, and if she gave him another chance, I think that they could make it work."

(From Two Scoops reader Ginny.)
"I have watched ATWT for over 20 years. What has happened to it? It has deteriorated drastically. Is this a completely new writers' group? The quality of the storylines has changed so much. It's like it is not the same show at all. We certainly could use some new talent. Writers' strike? NO, Viewers' Strike!"

(From Two Scoops reader Lisa.)
"Sorry, City Girl, but that was a rifle not a shot gun. Everyone in town would have known how many shots (Parker) made if it had been a shotgun. And would someone please take Carly's statement? She said herself there was only one shot, and yet there are two holes in Sam. Even if Parker did make two shots, he would have to be awfully good. Completely agree about Margo. She is on Casey's back all the time and now this idiotic move to let some stranger live with them. Crazy. I don't want Sophie to get the baby but I do want her to leave - yesterday. This character has nothing to root for. Love your 'Sophie Kool Aid' comment." That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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