Sabotaging birth control

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Sabotaging birth control
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The week of February 16, 2009
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Carly, getting drunk in the middle of the day before your kids come home from school...well, let's just say Jack and the courts probably wouldn't approve.

Cupid hit at least two couples in Oakdale for Valentine's Day. Katie and Brad and Vienna and Henry were doing their best to celebrate their love this week. Of course, the men didn't know that they were being set up to possibly become parents. It's a trick as old as the soap opera itself, duping a man into having a child. But I'm shocked that it's Katie and Vienna who went down this road. I would have expected it from Jade or Emily, but not Katie and Vienna.

Vienna wants children. Henry does not, so she punched holes in his condoms. (Happy Valentine's Day, Henry!) Katie isn't physically able to carry a baby, after her bone marrow surgery, but decided to ignore the doctor's advice and ditch her diaphragm. Henry discovered the betrayal too late, but Brad is still as clueless as ever. Why would these two smart women resort to such drastic measures? Well, Katie, has wanted children for years, so I can almost understand her desperation. But Vienna decided in just a week that she wanted to be a mom, and set out to do something about it.

I'm not sure what's worse, lying to your partner or violating his trust, and these ladies did both. Henry is outraged, and I'm sure Brad will be hurt and concerned that Katie is risking her health to have a baby. I'm not sure where this story is headed and which, if either, of the ladies will get pregnant, but I guess the message here is that you can't trust your lover. Thanks, ATWT, for that Valentine's Day lesson. When I run into Cupid, I'll be breaking that bow of his in half.

--Tom needs to get a reality check. After discovering that Casey had hooked up with Jade, he declared that she was worse than Emily and Alison put together. Um, Tom, Emily was a hooker and Ali was a crack-addicted porn star. Really, Jade is worse than that? I don't think so.

--Speaking of Tom, when he picked up Jade's discarded panties, twice no less, did anyone else say "ewww?"

--Several of you think that Matt is behind the drugs that Elwood gave to Reg. I think you may be right. I never would have pegged Elwood as a drug dealer, and Matt seems to be everywhere at the right time, if you know what I mean. Poor Ali, she just can't seem to escape that world, no matter what she does.

--I'm going to try to refrain from my ubiquitous Paul rant because I think you're just as tired of hearing it as I am writing it. But stealing Eliza and then leaving her alone in the car, well, let's just say it's inexcusable. Putting Meg through that kind of agony, of knowing a stranger had kidnapped her child, is the worst kind of cruelty. Paul really does need to get some help at a mental institution, or perhaps the doctors will discover a brain tumor that's been making him act so crazy the past couple years. The only part of the Paul arc that I enjoy anymore is his visions. Run with that, ATWT honchos.

--Why would Luke and Noah take Elwood's drugs to Margo's house and not the police station? Oh that's right, so Casey could play junior detective. In the past, Casey has been pretty good at it. The cops should get him on the payroll.

--Ali is so petulant lately. She didn't want Casey and made that painfully clear, so she shouldn't be acting like an angry, scorned lover when he's out with other women. Suddenly, Ali is acting like Emily. I don't like it.

--Carly, I fear all this vodka "research" is going to have a bad effect on you. Getting drunk in the middle of the day before your kids come home from school, well, let's just say I don't think Jack or the courts would approve. Yes, Craig could sell ice to Eskimos, so I understand he's hard to say "no" to, but you need to show some restraint, girl.

--I'm hoping that Carly and Craig's Midnight Sun vodka becomes a huge hit. I don't love the name, but just once I'd like one of Carly's business proposals to become a success. Her design business was a bust, as was her clothing line and her bar. It's time she had a win and proved to everyone that she is a smart, savvy gal.

--I was shocked that Carly double-crossed Craig in their vodka deal. That kiss freaked her out so much that she asked Lily to be her new partner. I'm thrilled Craig found out before it was too late, and I can't wait to see how he makes her squirm. Carly, you mess with the bull; you get the horns. Ole' Craig.

--I absolutely love Craig and Carly's scenes. These two are delicious together; they're a better buzz than any vodka.

--I couldn't help but laugh at Henry, after he discovered that Vienna had poked holes in his condoms. "Jump woman jump," he screamed, trying to undo the damage. Um, Henry, I don't think it works that way.

--Speaking of Henry and Vienna, will her trickery be the end for them? Henry has been clear that he doesn't want kids, so perhaps this will be the final straw. I'm not sure I would mind Henry being single again. Just think of all the Oakdale ladies he could start dating.

--Kudos to Janet for coming to the rescue when little Sage needed to get her makeup done for her school play. It was a nice bonding moment.

--On a shallow note, Margo is apparently growing her hair out. It looks great!

--Casey acted like a typical 21-year-old on his birthday. He got drunk and had meaningless sex. I'm surprised though that Margo and Tom went out of town on his birthday. Do they not know they have raised one wild child? They're lucky their house wasn't burned to the ground.

--Thanks to Two Scoops reader Wendy who after reading my last column about Meg, the Serial Wife, wrote to remind me that Meg was also married to Tonio Reyes and Josh Snyder back in the days of Jennifer Ashe. Thank you, Wendy! I had forgotten all about that. Meg sure gets around, doesn't she?

--Does Craig sit around and read the thesaurus for fun? I was chuckling when he fired off that three-worded description to basically call Carly an evil traitor.

--I really love the outdoor shots of New York, but I hate that it seems like the Oakdale folks can get there in mere minutes. Do they all own some supersonic jets I don't know about?

Best Lines of the Week:
(Craig tells Carly he wants her to sample a variety of vodkas for their new business.)
Craig: "You won't have any problems becoming a connoisseur."
Carly: "Is that a fancy word for lush?"

(After Craig and Carly land a backer for their vodka production, Craig kisses her.)
Craig: "That was a business kiss. It's better than a handshake don't you think?"
Carly: "No."
Craig: "OK, I won't make that mistake again."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Marie.)
OK. You win on this one. The new Craig is VERY good. It took a while for us to warm up to him but he is doing a very good job. His Craig is "different," but then maybe MAYBE Craig has "changed" (just a little?) On the other hand, poor Henry has gone from nothing to do to the joke of the week. I do not see the "humor" in his sex role-playing with Vienna. I find it tasteless and offensive, almost as bad as Brad The Baby-Making Machine. These episodes are taking a page from Alison's porn career. Enough already. So much for "family values." And, finally, I do like this Matt character. Unfortunately, I fear he is going to be the real drug dealer in Oakdale. I hope not but I don't have a good feeling about somebody this "nice" just popping up and hanging around.

Dear Marie, I agree that all this sex has been tasteless lately. I especially hate the role-playing scenes with Henry. He's capable of so much more. I'm glad you're on board with new Craig. I love him, too. As for Matt, I fear you may be right. Quick, someone warn Ali.---- Jennifer Biller

(From Two Scoops reader Chris S.)
I'd bet that Henry and Vienna get a bun in the oven before Brad and Katie. It just makes more sense; they would have more of an adjustment" to make in their lives, which would be very entertaining for viewers. I also love the relationship between Craig and Johnny. It is very realistic. It was not with Dusty; I mean the man was just plain mean to everyone else around them. In reality, it would have been traumatic for a child left with a stranger who was as hate filled as him. I can't stand the latest version of Dusty, but I LOVE NEW CRAIG.

Dear Chris, I'm not sure I want Henry to be a parent just yet. I was holding out hope that he'd get a storyline that wasn't so much comic relief and that had some real meat to it. As for Craig and Johnny, I'm enjoying it too, but then I loved his relationship with Bryant, too. They used to fish together and bond all the time. (Oh that's right, I forgot, Craig was a horrible father and "killed" Bryant. My bad. Yes, I'm bitter.) I hope Dusty tones it down, too. I used to love him, but lately I just want him to go to anger management class. ---Jennifer Biller

(From Two Scoops reader Celia.)
Where do CBS and the producers of our show get their feedback? Don't they stop to think that the ratings are in the tank because we viewers do not like the product we're getting? In my opinion there is far too much story and too little character development. They should use the people we know and love a little more (Kim, Susan, Bob, Henry, Margo, Tom, etc.) and take time building stories. P.S. I love when Craig, Carly, Jade and Emily are bad, but I don't want them to be heartless.

Dear Celia, I'm guessing they get it from fans like you, from writing letters and posting on message boards. I'm not sure if they use focus groups or not. But it does seem like they ignore our pleas year after year. (Henry!!!) You nailed it when you said that there is too little character development. I feel like we've been watching the same versions of Henry and Paul for years. And the vets are being sorely underused. Just check out the Kay storyline on Y&R to see how a vet can be front and center in an enthralling plot. ----Jennifer Biller

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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