The green monster

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The green monster
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The week of June 11, 2007
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Well folks, its official - AMC's done it again. They've brought back a popular character and made me despise her within a matter of weeks.

Well folks, its official - AMC's done it again. They've brought back a popular character and made me despise her within a matter of weeks. Even with the Dixie and Maria debacles fresh in their minds, the people in charge at AMC still choose to push the envelope in terms of Greenlee's hateability factor. Now, making me hate Greens isn't exactly a difficult job, but they've really pushed it this time. When the week started, she was all about revenge against Zach, because, apparently, it's all his fault that her life sucks. Talk about selective memory.

Yes, Zach caused the blackout -- there is no doubt it was wrong. I wished, back then, that he hadn't done it. I hoped he was set up. I searched for crazy alternate theories. I completely understand [i]why[/i] he did it, but the bottom line is that he screwed up -- but he didn't act in a vacuum. Greenlee went behind her husband's back and got pregnant, he lost what was left of his mind and decided to play dead and Kendall was so desperate to give Greens a child that she [i]chose[/i] to use her own eggs and lie about it. They all made mistakes.

Zach and Kendall, however, are the only two people in the equation who seem to understand this. They acknowledge what they did and try to move on. Greenlee's too busy screaming about what she lost to recognize her mistakes and Ryan's no better. When Annie went off on Zach for his actions (which annoyed me a lot, considering she wasn't there), Ryan tried to explain that they'd moved on, that Kendall had forgiven Zach and that he was doing this for Spike. Not once did he mention that he played a HUGE role in putting these events into motion by faking his death. I guess I'm supposed to be impressed that Ryan's siding with Zach, but I'd be a hell of a lot [i]more[/i] impressed if he said, "Look, the blackout was wrong, but it never would have happened if I hadn't treated my wife so horribly, tried to punch her in the face and asked Zach to help me fake my death to avoid fatherhood." Everyone's guilty, everyone's paid a price. It's time for Greenlee, Ryan and the writers at AMC to remember that.

Green, Green Whine

Another thing: Greenlee gets angry when people tell her to "just get over it" or "move on" -- and on some level, I understand where she's coming from. But when she whines about it, saying that everyone else has had time to get over it and she hasn't, she loses me completely. Greenlee had that time, too, but she chose to use it hiding out from her problems. Kendall, Zach, and even Ryan didn't run away from the situation. They may have considered it, but they stayed and stuck it out. Now that they've carved out some sort of understanding, it's not up to them to make Greenlee feel better. Had she stayed, she could have been part of the solution. Instead, she decided to leave. It's not everyone else's fault that her decision backfired.

Of course, all of the whining in the world didn't make me half as angry as I was by week's end, when Greenlee decided to sue for custody of Spike. I'm surprised my neighbors didn't call the cops when they heard me screaming obscenities at the TV.

The scenes actually looked a little promising at first -- for a split second, Greenlee seemed to acknowledge her mistake. She realized that she screwed up by leaving, that Kendall would have given her that baby in a heartbeat. Then, the line that pushed me over the edge: "Spike is mine," she said. Uh, no honey, that wonderful baby could have been yours, because your friend was willing to give him to you. When you decided to bail, you threw that gift back in her face. When that child became Spike, he became Kendall's baby. But, in true Greenlee style, she wants what she wants when she wants it. Unfortunately for her, you can't call a do-over on something like this. She's trying to destroy her "sister" by stealing something that she tossed away. Actually, maybe Babe and Greenlee can become pals now -- one baby stealing bitch deserves another, right?

This is all beyond infuriating and it makes me hate Greenlee all the more (and I'd be saying that even if Rebecca Budig was playing these scenes). Actually, what's beyond infuriating is that in a few weeks, I'm sure all of this will be forgotten and Kendall will be begging Greenlee to be friends again. Sometimes I really hate this show.

Education? Who Needs That?!

My hatred for the Carey women is not exactly a secret, but this week, Krystal ticked me off in an entirely new way. After returning home from their newly ventilated bar, The Comeback (insert dirty joke here), Babe decided to tell her Mama about her plan to get her high school diploma. At this point, I expected Krystal to fawn all over her babydoll, praising her for thinking enough of herself to complete her education. Instead, we were forced to listen to all Krystal's reasons why Babe didn't need to get her GED.

Are you freaking kidding me?!? What kind of mother tries to dissuade their child from getting an education? I loathe Babe, but I can acknowledge that she's making a smart decision. Apparently, Krystal needed some convincing, though. And Mama's logic was downright revolting. You don't need to go back to school! You ran a major corporation! You knocked their socks off! (Well, in Josh's case, she knocked off a lot more than his socks. But I digress.) I can just picture Babe applying for a corporate job, trying to explain her prior work experience to a potential employer.

[i]Interviewer[/i]: So, I see here that you were working in a sleazy bar and then suddenly became a partner in a cosmetics firm. What's up with that? [i]Babe[/i]: Well, you see, the former owner was pissed at the sister of the woman whose baby I stole, so she gave me her shares out of spite, hoping the company would fall apart. Which it did. But that wasn't my fault. See, there was this serial killer...

Leave it to Krystal to encourage her beloved Babe to keep taking the same short cuts she always has. Jamie wasn't a whole lot better, but at least he came around pretty quickly. Now personally, I don't care if Babe flunks her equivalency test 10 times over, but don't dissuade the girl from doing something halfway decent. It might be the one and only time it happens.

A Chandler At Heart

The Chandler clan kept busy this week, too. Ava (who had been paid off by Adam) planted drugs on Sean, but when he was arrested, Colby got caught in the crossfire. Sean, of course, took the heat, even though he was framed. This really is a cute little teen storyline. Sean sacrificing himself to save Colby was a nice touch. You need those grand gestures in these melodramatic teen stories. I'm also glad that AMC didn't go overboard with the prom like they did with Colby's Sweet 16. The party was just a backdrop to the story, not the story itself.

Elsewhere, JR was trying to convince Tad (and himself) that he was going to a be a Martin from now on. Once again, I'm reminded how much I love Tad. He called JR on wanting revenge against his Daddy and reminded him that he would always be a Chandler. Of course, anyone with half a brain can see that this is all about JR's daddy issues. I mean, if he were really determined to be a Martin, wouldn't he let go of CHANDLER ENTERPRISES? As annoying as I'm finding him these days, that boy is Adam's son, through and through.

The proof? He ended the week by staging his own kidnapping to torture his father. He even roped an unwitting Amanda into his scheme and had the fake kidnappers beat the hell out of him for real. That evil little grin he sported on Friday just screamed Adam Chandler. Of course, I hate that Adam is once again going to be put through the ringer. Yes, I know -- this is supposed to be karma for him stealing Jenny. What can I say? I still love Adam, regardless (and often, because of) his flaws.

Odds & Ends

I like Di and Aidan together, but if they are only going to use their two scenes a week sniping at each other, I'll take a pass. * Ava and Jonathan -- still creepy. It's a shame when two talented actors are forced into a storyline that makes you dislike their characters. * Josh and Greenlee might have potential as a short-term duo, but I'm sure we'll get a Ryan/Greenlee reunion eventually (at which point they'll sue for custody of Spike again). I still don't understand why AMC hasn't taken a chance on a Josh/Amanda pairing... yet. * Julia and Jamie's pregnancy scare scenes were cute this week, made all the more amusing by the fact that Sydney Penny was very pregnant. Congrats to Sydney and her hubby on the arrival of their first child. * To anyone attending, enjoy the Emmys this Friday! I'm personally pulling for OLTL's Renee Elise Goldsberry (ex-Evangeline) and Dan Gauthier (ex-Kevin), just so ABC can realize how stupid they were to let these talented actors go. Of course, I predict AMC will walk away empty-handed (Unfortunately, I don't think their sole nominee, Leven Rambin (Lily) can win this year).

Well, that's it for me this week. I've finally set up a blog here at Soap Opera Central, so swing by and check it out if you like. I'm going to try to post regularly, assuming real life doesn't get in the way. The address is

-- Kristine

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