Worst. Homecoming. Ever.

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Worst. Homecoming. Ever.
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The week of September 3, 2007
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As stressful as the last few weeks have been, I hoped that I would get to see at least one day of Zach and Kendall, back in their new home, trying to support one another through their latest crises.

As stressful as the last few weeks have been, I hoped that I would get to see at least one day of Zach and Kendall, back in their new home, trying to support one another through their latest crises. Unfortunately, that hope was shot to hell when good old Annie made one colossally stupid suggestion: "Why don't we all move in together?"

Oh, that's a positively brilliant plan, Annie! Kendall and Ryan are at odds over Spike, so why not crank up the tension by having them share living quarters. I guess since Spike can't hear his father accuse his mother of being crazy and dangerous, it's all good. Why is it that Ryan can continually treat Kendall like crap and she has to smile and thank him for it? Maybe if he did more than pay lip service to the fact that Kendall is trying to recover from a major trauma, it would be easier to see his perspective. But he frames everything in such a condescending, "Lavery Knows Best" attitude, it's all I can do to not reach through the television and choke the life out of the man.

Yes, Kendall is confused and desperate. She's carrying enormous guilt over the predicament she feels she caused for her two sons (though we all know who's to blame for that) and she's trying as hard as she can to fix the son she can "save". But after so many years, Ryan still takes the same, Neanderthal approach to addressing the problem. Step in, tell Kendall she's nuts and start protecting Spike from his mother. I guess because he's done such a good job protecting him from Greenlee. And because Kendall reacts so well to confrontation. The man is a tool.

And Kendall's not the only one he treats like crud. His wife, Annie, is clearly freaked about a big secret she's hiding from her, and despite her repeated pleas to let it go (and him agreeing to do so each time), he's still pressing the issue. Remember how Ryan reacted when people started checking out the branches of his demented family tree? It was all about telling his loved ones to back off! And remember when Ryan kept telling Kendall he wouldn't interfere in her decision making before Spike was born, and then continually butted in to the point of suing for custody of the unborn child he drove off a cliff to get away from? It's the same old, same old.

The most unintentionally hilarious comment Mr. Lavery made this week was the whole "there's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you" speech. Hey Annie, why don't you go ask Kendall and Greenlee how tolerant Ryan is when the "love of his life" makes a mistake? I'm not saying Annie should keep up all the cloak and dagger stuff -- honestly, I could care less about the horrible things she did to her family. We'll find out soon enough, considering the Laveries little day trip to visit Annie's dad. But it still turns my stomach to listen to Ryan's supportive husband act.

The Kids Are Alright -- Well, Getting Better At Least

Back to Kendall, who managed to convince Dr. Hilliard (shady evildoer or unfairly persecuted good guy?) to give Spike his miracle cure, which apparently consists of magical vitamins. My poor girl is grasping at straws right now, and I'm thinking its going to end badly, if only to give Ryan another reason to be self-righteous and condescending to her. While Kendall was finding treatments for Spike, Zach was at the hospital holding his son for the first time. Wasn't that the most adorable thing you've ever seen? And Josh trying to explain the "kangarooing" procedure to a very nervous Zach, then taking out his cell phone camera to snap a shot of father and son? Too cute! It's remarkable how powerful that scene was considering there was barely a word spoken. Zach was nervous, thrilled and on the verge of tears all at once.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any girly, Erica showed up and was just as touched as I was at the sight of Ian on Zach's chest. Seeing La Kane give Zach a hug was an 'oh my gosh' moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- I love supportive Erica. Between her gentle conversation with Zach and her reaffirming her devotion to Kendall, she was great. (I particularly appreciated when she mentioned how she hadn't always been there for Kendall, but wanted to be there now. Sniff!) And, of course, seeing Zach and Kendall watch Ian in his incubator always does my heart good. I'm sure on Tuesday, when Zach discovers Spike's magical drops, there'll be an argument, but for now, I'll hold on to that image.

Happy Birthday Tad?

I really wanted to enjoy Tad's birthday party on Friday but the writers just made it too damn difficult. I knew going in that it would end with a Tad and Krystal kissing, but that was actually the least of the evils. First off, there was Jonathan and Ava. I hate this couple. A lot. I find nothing appealing about them. It goes way beyond the whole jailbait aspect now. I just don't like either of them. What do you say about a relationship where the Lavery is the less annoying of the pair? Ava is the epitome of irritating -- loud, brash, arrogant with no good reason, just an all-around infuriating personality. I know the dating prospects for reformed serial killers must be a little slim, but even Tumor Boy could do better that that mess. Ugh.

The Tad-centric parts of the party were OK, but I couldn't help but notice who wasn't there. If you're going to get Ruth out of mothballs, why aren't Livia and Derek there? And wouldn't it have been nice to see Brooke, especially considering that Jamie just left to save to the world? What about Liza? (Speaking of whom, I cannot believe no one has clued in poor Colby about the Tad/Liza/Marian debacle.) We did get one person back from the past, as Julia finally reappeared. Despite the whole Tad/Krystal spit swap, I'm hoping to see a Tad/Julia relationship develop. I want to see if it would work, regardless of the Kathy/Kate connection.

So the party was a pretty big bust, but at least there wasn't a Greenlee/Kendall run in (I just don't have the energy). Jackson thought it was a good idea to invite Greens, so I figured when Zach and Kendall decided to go, we were in trouble. Thankfully, no. It seems as though Aidan is being thrown under that particular bus. Like it or not, we're getting a Greenlee/Aidan romance. I suppose the beach bonding session was supposed to establish a connection between the two, but I just don't see it. I'm sure my Greenlee hate is preventing it, but honestly, Aidan deserves better. Oh, and for the record, I don't care how many times Greenlee gets hurt, or pumped full of painkillers, or how many times she suffers the indignity of -- gasp! -- eating along in public, I will not feel any sympathy for her. Never.

-- Kristine

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