For years, Henry Coleman has been flying solo in Oakdale, harboring an unrequited love for his best friend, Katie. For years, the audience has been supporting Henry, harboring hope that he'd someday find a woman worthy of his love (and martinis.) This week, Henry finally got some lovin', when he hooked up with Swedish bombshell Vienna Hyatt. During the limousine scenes, I could almost hear audiences across the nation screaming, "WOO HOO! Way to go, Henry!"
Since Vienna hit town, I've been suggesting that she and Henry make a love connection. But since the show honchos rarely go in a direction that I suggest, I'm still a little shocked at this new coupling. (Shocked, and over-the-moon pleased.) Henry and Vienna's backseat rendezvous was hilarious, with moments of sincerity. Henry poured out his heart about Katie, finally talking about their marriage and divorce. It was moving enough that Vienna immediately realized what a catch Henry was. Sure, her attraction was too fast, but I'm willing to overlook that little plot detail, if it means Henry gets a shot at an actual love story. Vienna's declarations were a little over-the-top, but I didn't care. She said what we've all been thinking for years about the martini man: "I'm amazed that you haven't been snatched up yet. You should be the one everyone fusses over. You deserve love, Henry." Amen, Vienna. Finally, someone gets it. Cut to Vienna drawing a heart with their initials in the steamed-up window and the Titanic theme playing in the background, and what we got was a perfectly hilarious, romantic scene.
Since Vienna is in trouble with the law and facing extradition, perhaps she'll convince Henry to marry her to keep her in the states. (Despite her beauty and wit, her bank account is probably the best bait to convince Henry to tie the knot again.) Can you imagine Katie's reaction? That will be must-see-TV. I don't care what it takes at this point, but Vienna needs to stay in Oakdale. She's fun, fresh, and a reason for Henry to finally get the storyline he deserves.
--Attention ladies who share my shoe obsession: Who else out there is salivating over those spectacular, strappy, bejeweled beauties Vienna was wearing this week? (You know, the ones she "snubbed Princess Caroline" in?) Sure, I was excited that Vienna got horizontal with Henry, but those shoes really left me breathless. I'm mourning their loss as much as Vienna is.
--I'm not sure where to start with this "Emily is a hooker storyline." It seems we're bordering on Britney Spears territory here. The woman is obviously crying out for help. She's gone from gunning down her fiancée, to kidnapping Dusty, to prostituting herself. And frankly, I can't understand why. She's a beautiful, wealthy, successful, professional woman. Can loneliness and a broken heart really drive one to such extremes? Perhaps, Emily truly is mentally ill. I'm guessing this latest scheme is an effort to protect herself from ever letting a man emotionally hurt her again. She believes if she becomes someone else, a.k.a. a hooker, then no one can get too close. Dusty needs to get her some professional help, pronto. (Clarification: The kind of "professional" help that includes a psychologist, not a hotel room.)
--Scoopers, are you on board with a Craig and Meg coupling? I'm on the fence. It's nice to see Craig's fun side bringing out some fun in the usually dramatic Meg. I didn't like her with Paul. I loved her with Dusty. I'm still not sure about Craig. We all know he's a scoundrel. Thoughts?
--Never cover up a "murder" with Gwen Munson. The girl is a lousy liar and a neurotic mess. Maddie, on the other hand, is doing pretty well with the whole deception game. (Well, if you don't count her freak-out on Jade.) Maddie and Gwen won't have to cover for much longer, as it appears Adam may have been doing the post-mortem dial this week to Will and to Jade. I'm betting he dug himself out of that makeshift grave, and it's only a matter of time before he goes for payback.
--Dusty Donovan has a hero complex, and I love that about him. He has a history of getting involved with women who are in trouble. He was such a sweet friend to Emily this week that it almost made me forget how horrible he was to Meg in the past. Almost.
--It looks like lonely Jack and lonely Katie may be heading toward a few less lonely nights in the near future. I never would have pictured these two together, but it could be interesting. Jack is Katie's type: the dark, handsome hero. And Katie is Jack's type: a wacky, beautiful blonde. Plus, Katie has always wanted a family, and Jack's got three kids to go along with the deal. But, Katie should be warned that it won't end well. We all know that Carly and Jack are destined. I can't wait for her to get back to town and see Katie living out her former life. Katie should keep practicing how to camouflage that black eye with makeup, because I fear she may have one to match it when Carly gets home.
--Henry must have some crazy skills in the bedroom. Vienna declared him the best lover that she'd ever had, and this is a gal who used to sleep with Greek God Simon Frazier. And if I recall, Katie said something similar once about Henry, too. Hmmm...
--I loved Katie and Jack at the hockey game. Her ignorance of the sport was a hoot. Jack seemed to be having fun, too, something we haven't seen in months. And Katie gets points for those cute Jackie O sunglasses she used to cover up her puck-injured eye.
--Does anyone else think it strange that Vienna is running around Oakdale in the middle of winter in toeless shoes and sleeveless, low-cut dresses? I can't blame her though. If I had that body, I'd be showing it off, too. And speaking of her wardrobe, I'd like to know where Vienna shops. Her leopard-print bra/panty combo was to die for.
--I'm already nervous about the impending showdown between Lily and Lucinda about the baby food business deal, and I'm sure we're weeks away from Lucinda discovering Lily's duplicity. It's not gonna be pretty.
--Speaking of the "Valley's Best" gals, I'm not so sure these ladies are on the up and up. My B.S. meter is in the red when these two are on screen. They don't have a business plan, and they're already asking for more cash. And making Lily the product spokesperson is a little strange. Watch out Lily, I think you're being conned.
--Meg and Holden's family talks make me smile. Who out there wouldn't want a big brother like him? These little moments make the show truly outstanding.
--Craig's argument with Lucinda about Lucy had some grains of truth in it. But once again, Lucinda turned the conversation around and blamed him for ruining Bryant's life. For the millionth time - and feel free to join in at this point - CRAIG DIDN'T KILL BRYANT!
--Are you enjoying the Brad Snyder show, er "Oakdale Now?" Brad had better watch his back. He has no idea who he's dealing with, when it comes to revenge, drive and manipulation. This is Katie Peretti, the woman who basically destroyed the lives of Simon, Carly, Mike, Jack, and Nick.
--I'm loving Paul as a psychic. I haven't been this interested in a Paul storyline, since Rose was in town. His new gift has real potential to intertwine him in all kinds of storylines and to interact him with other characters he seldom sees. Let's just hope Henry doesn't find out about Paul's new gift, or Henry will be dragging Paul to the track to help pick the ponies.
Best Lines of the Week:
Craig: "So, where's Lily gone? To buy a gun? I've got some spare ammunition if she wants to finish you off."
(Henry and Vienna run out of gas, miles from civilization, and Vienna tells Henry he needs to hike through the woods to get help.)
Henry: "You must have mistaken me for someone else. I don't hike."
(Meg messes up a salad order at her new waitressing job, and Craig jumps to her defense.)
Customer, (to Meg): "Are you sure the dressing is on the side this time?"
Craig: "Hey, look Emeril; it's a $5 salad. Be grateful it's green."
(From Two Scoops Reader Ingrid.)
"You said you don't buy Emily as a hooker, but I think it is plausible, and here's why: Emily is a self-destructive thrill seeker. It's obviously not about the money, and when have family ties in town ever halted her bad behavior in the past? She hasn't always made the best choices, ala James Stenbeck, keeping Jennifer's baby from her, kidnapping Dusty...the list goes on. This is just another extremely bad choice to follow the others."
(From Two Scoops Reader Vivien.)
"I turned off the set after watching in utter disbelief, Gwen going outside to wash her hands in snow instead of using her own bathroom. Katie and Brad sparking just weeks after both loves of her life, Mike and Simon split? Paul's endless visionary stream of tragedies? EMILY? I don't know when, or if, I'll be checking out Oakdale again. It's too bad, because I really do like the weight/self-esteem issues facing the pre-teens and their parents. But one winner out of so many boring losers is just one few too little."
That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.