Lucinda Walsh, you've been a bad, bad girl. I know that in Oakdale, it's customary to try to off someone when they've done you wrong. (Hello Emily, Will, Paul, Dusty and Craig!) But I never thought calm, calculating Lucinda would join the Attempted Killers Club.

When Lucinda made her way into the hospital medicine cabinet to choose Craig's lethal cocktail, I was sure she'd come to her senses before doing the deed. She didn't. Perhaps she really wasn't lying to Dr. Bob about her stress and desperation. Maybe Lucinda does need some pharmaceutical help of her own to drive out her crazy, murderous thoughts. Dr. Bob had better get her a prescription for Zoloft to go along with her dose of revenge, before she ends up in prison. Oh, wait. Attempted killers don't actually go to jail in Oakdale, only teenage gamblers. I forgot.

I'm disappointed that Lucinda resorted to chemicals to try to win back her company. The old gal I know and love would have used her shrewd business skills to annihilate Craig, or better yet, let him sit back and self-destruct, as he always does. Let's hope the dosed-up coffee was a wake-up-call for Ms. Walsh that she's gone too far this time.

In other musings:
--Someone call the Oakdale PD: Barbara Ryan has been missing for weeks and no one seems to have noticed. Oakdale just isn't the same without the town's trouble-stirring fashion icon.

--Don't hate me, but I'm loving Dusty and Emily. Yes, I know that Em's walk on the crazy hooker side makes it hard to root for her, but just once I'd like to see things work out for her. And she and Dusty have enough chemistry to get Ali high just by watching them.

--It looks like Carly isn't going to flip on Simon and that means one thing: She needs a slick attorney. Paging Cass Winthrop. I wouldn't mind seeing my favorite legal mind mix it up in Oakdale again.

--Place your bets right now on whether WOAK intern Noah is going to be gay and a potential love interest for Luke or straight and a potential love interest for Maddie.

--Yay! Henry came to his senses and realized what a gem Vienna is. It's about time. I'm glad to see them reunited. But, I think the ATWT honchos have put Katie in the wrong love triangle. She should be smack dab in the middle of Henry and Vienna, not Carly and Jack. Katie has always wanted the one thing she can't seem to have: a stable guy, kids, the white picket fence, and a man who is completely in love with only her. She had that in Henry, and I wonder how long before she realizes it?

--Carly and Jack still have that old magic, and I'm enjoying Katie and Jack, too. So, I can't wait until Carly realizes that Katie has moved in on her man. The makeup department at WOAK had better stock up on the pancake concealer.

--Brad was so sweet this week, when he gave Katie the Swedish fish and confessed his crush. Who knew there was something sincere underneath all that pompousness? He also gets points for trying to warn Katie about the Jack/Carly relationship. He knows their history and was just trying to keep Katie from getting hurt. Wow, I think I'm actually loving Brad. How the heck did that happen?

--I know Craig isn't a nice guy, but still, when Margo turned her back on him several times after he reached out this week, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Scott Bryce made me want to smack some forgiveness into Margo. She was so cold to him. Maybe Craig's sisters should be the ones to humanize again, instead of reinforcing his horrid behavior by cutting him out of their lives.

--Poor Cleo. She couldn't even sell her belongings before she got mugged. She needs a job. How about this: Gwen should pay Cleo to help her be in two places at once. Imagine having a "twin" to do all the things you don't want to do? (Dinner with the mother-in-law- "Cleo, could you handle that for me?; Work the late shift-"Cleo, could you fill in for me?") Relax, I'm kidding. But, admit it, having a twin some days would be pretty cool.

--It's eerie that Parker and J.J. look so much alike when they aren't biologically related. And Sage is beyond adorable. How Carly could ditch those kids is beyond me. Oh right, it was Simon Frasier.

--Vienna gave up the Riviera, a rich, hot guy named Sebastian, and hanging out with Guy and Madonna for a broke, gambling, martini-drinking chauffer? Oh, right, it's Henry Coleman. I'd give it all up too for a ride in his limousine. :

--Sorry Paul and Meg fans, but those two put me to sleep. ZZZZZZ.

--I'm not sure what happened to Prince Adolfo that he's suddenly being so generous. I remember him as the guy who was out for revenge on the thief of his precious jewels.

--It's strange seeing Carly with long hair. I can't decide if I prefer her with a medium or long style, because she looks beautiful either way.

--Cleo gets points from me this week for informing us that all of Emily Dickinson's poetry can be set to the music of The Yellow Rose of Texas. Priceless. I'm not sure how the writers came up with that quirky anecdote, but I can't stop singing, "I could not stop for death, so he kindly stopped for me."

--Was it just me or did Jack's realtor seem a little more interested in him than selling his house? What is it about Jack that beautiful blondes can't resist? Yes, I know, he's Jack Snyder.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Holden discusses Jack and Carly's love connection.)
Holden: "I think you can only arrest your wife so many times before that connection is broken."

(Policeman Dallas calls Vienna to give her an update on her case.)
Vienna: "Dallas, of course you're on my side. We're both named after cities."

(Vienna tells Jack that she is an innocent bystander in the jewel robbery/recovery, but her English isn't very good and Henry has to translate.)
Vienna: "I had nothing to do with stealing them. I was a pansy.
Henry: "A patsy. You were a patsy."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops Lisa.)
"Welcome back! Nay on the opening. The poses seem forced and the music is awful.Why does everyone remember Alison as this sweet girl? I remember her as the girl who burned down the Snyder barn and blamed Will, who had to spend time in a psych ward because of it. Then she tried her best to keep Lucy and Aaron apart. And she certainly couldn't have inherited 'good girl' genes from Emily or her father. Katie is better for Jack and Carly. I love having Carly back, but I so dread another reunion between her and Jack. They will never, ever work together!"

(From Two Scoops reader "T")
"Sorry, but I have to disagree with you. I used to be a Jack and Carly fan, but I'm so tired of her schemes. She and Jack are no longer interesting. I just love Katie and Jack together. Love their chemistry. Thanks for you Two Scoops commentary!"

(From Two Scoops reader Linda.)
"Hey, I can't believe it's happening again. Every time Jack even looks at someone else, Carly comes back. That is getting old. And don't get me wrong, I love Gwen, but, the one person playing two roles thing, AGAIN. Please I got enough of that with Lily and Rose.

(From Two Scoops reader Ailene.)
"I have been watching ATWT since Scott Bryce created the role of Craig Montgomery and I'm glad he's back. With a great new opening and the best talent on daytime, would someone please write this fabulous cast a decent story!"

That's all for now Scoopers! Have a peaceful Memorial Day. Please take time to remember our veterans and those still serving. See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller