Craig the bamboozler

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Craig the bamboozler
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The week of April 11, 2005
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Give it up for Craig Montgomery. The guy has managed to tick off just about everyone in Oakdale, and that's no easy feat. His list of enemies is growing faster than Jennifer's expanding waistline.

Give it up for Craig Montgomery. The guy has managed to tick off just about everyone in Oakdale, and that's no easy feat. His list of enemies is growing faster than Jennifer's expanding waistline. Jennifer, Mike, Paul, Dusty, Barbara, Sierra and Lucinda have all promised to make trouble for him. I fear Craig may soon find himself on the wrong side of a swivel, leather chair staring down the wrong end of a gun barrel, J.R. Ewing style. And Lord help us if someone actually plugs him. With so many suspects, the Oakdale PD would never solve the crime.

I'm sorry, but I don't see Craig as the bad guy everyone says he is. Now before you fire off the angry e-mails, hear me out. I'm not defending Craig's deplorable action of stealing designs that aren't his. However, if Jennifer hadn't acted like such an immature, unprofessional brat who refused to work with him and tattled their personal lives to her boss, then the situation wouldn't have disintegrated to the point it is now.

I'm just saying, why isn't anyone putting some of the blame on Jennifer? The whole town has lined up to defend the "unstable princess art-eest," as Craig calls her. Jen started this mess, after all. She should at least share some of the blame.

--I don't think Rafi will be leaving in an orange crate, but he is on his way out of Oakdale. (Yes, it's OK to give thanks.) Celia, however, is sticking around. Don't ask me how they'll explain that one.

--Skin is in at the Downtown Gym. I couldn't be more thrilled with Oakdale's newest business. Some of my favorite soap scenes happen when the town folk are in the same place at the same time, and I predict the gym becoming the place everyone goes to blow off a little steam. We've already seen Mike and Will showing off their physiques while punching away at the boxing bag. (Did you notice the guns on Will? Sorry, I digress.) Can you just imagine Jack, Holden, Carly and Lisa in one of Katie's butt-busting aerobics classes?

--How great was Keith's line when meeting attorney Michael Baldwin? Keith said, "I knew a Baldwin once, a wily character." The line was a wink to the audience about Kin Shriner's former legendary role as Scott Baldwin on "General Hospital." Brilliant.

--Can you believe Henry actually got a job? Nope, me either. I never pictured him as a chauffer. A bartender, yes, but not a chauffer. But hey, it's a great way to get Henry in scenes with just about everyone in Oakdale, and that is always a good ride. I'm taking bets on who will be the first person to stiff him on a tip. My money is on Lucinda!

--If you're an Aaron and Ali fan, I hope you enjoyed the daydream wedding scenes. That is the closest you'll ever get between the two actors. Agim Kaba leaves the show this week. I'm sad to see him go. He really grew as an actor and made Aaron someone the audience cared about.

--Let's have a round of applause for whomever it was who lured Benjamin Hendrickson back to Oakdale. Losing this extraordinary veteran was a real blow to the show. Randolph Mantooth has done a fine job, but Hendrickson's Hal is just not replaceable. Now, if we could just get the sorely missed John Dixon back, too, my world would be complete.

--Did anyone else get choked up when JJ reached for Carly's hand outside the courtroom? That moment was sweet enough to have been a Hallmark commercial. JJ put aside his anger and pride and turned to his mother's enemy, reminding viewers that despite his precociousness, JJ is a vulnerable little boy who just buried his mommy. Gulp. I need a tissue just thinking about it. Bravo ATWT! Sometimes the best scenes are the subtle, unexpected ones.

--Can someone explain this newfound closeness between Dusty and Jennifer? In the past, Dusty treated Jen like something he scraped off his shoe. Now, suddenly, she's confessing her deepest secrets to him and telling him about her pregnancy. Did I miss something? I get that they both work for Worldwide, but this is one logic leap I'm just not taking.

--I hope Mike isn't going to have to endure another Am-I-the-Daddy storyline. The poor guy went through this already with Carly and Sage. Jennifer told Mike she took precautions with Craig (even though Mike didn't understand her confession), so I'm guessing that Mike is really the father of the baby. Plus, didn't she and Mike get busy just a few days before her one-night stand with Craig?

--Tyson is a bully of the worst kind, but don't hate me, I like him. How about we get this kid some anger management classes, and have him stick around? He's a decent actor, which isn't something I can say for the entire group of teens. Plus, he holds his own in scenes with the always-fantastic Will.

--Kudos to the wardrobe department for the parade of spring fashions this week, and I'm not talking about Street/Boulevard Jeans. Carly looked positively stunning in that purple suit, Barbara was ravishing in red and Jack looked like he could grace the cover of GQ in that navy suit.

--I'm sorry, but I can't help but giggle every time I see that poster of Mike for Street Jeans with his eyeballs shifted to the side. It's weird looking, no? It reminds me of one of those haunted mansion portraits, where the person's eyes eerily follow you around the room. And that surprised look on his face makes me wonder what's really going on inside his Street Jeans. The other poster of Mike is smoking hot. I don't blame Craig for leaving the shifty-eyed one behind.

--Maybe it's spring fever, but mercy, did the men of Oakdale look HOT this week. Will boxing in that green tank top, Henry in that open-collared white shirt and dark chauffeur's jacket. And don't get me started on Keith, Jack and Holden. Is it hot in here?

--On a personal note Scoopers, I've been writing this column for three years, and it's time to take stock. I'm interested to know if you like the format, the Best Lines of the Week, the Reader Spotlight and the content. Send an e-mail to let me know what you like and what, if anything, you'd like to see changed. (If you say the writer, I'll even read those, too! )
Best Lines of the Week:
(Craig greets Paul, just after a fight with an unruly Barbara.)
Craig: "Your mother was here earlier. Her prescription has lapsed."

(Henry meets the muscular, long-haired Tyson and offers to show the Hercules look-alike around the gym.)
Henry: "That's quite a grip you've got there, Kevin Sorbo. You're probably interested in the free weights, come on down here."

(Teen bully Tyson tells Will he'll stop picking a fight for now, but they'll finish it another time.)
Will: "Yeah. See if you can squeeze me in between shop and remedial English."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Kara):
"About the Ortega's...where is the INS when you need them?"

(From Two Scoops reader Alicia):
"I simply cannot believe that once again "ATWT" is going to play the whole cheat-on-your-man-get-pregnant-thing. Didn't we see this with Carly/Jack/Mike, Jessica/Ben/Doc, Allison/Chris/Aaron, and maybe even Emily/Tom/Margo? Why is it that every time someone cheats, someone ends up pregnant? This storyline is so played out and overused. I love "ATWT" but if this happens, I must admit that I think I will have a hard time watching the show. Mike and Jen, in my opinion, were perfect for one another, and I was really getting used to Katie and Jen being friends."

(From Two Scoops reader Leanne):
"Where is Hal in the investigation of Julia's death? He's not even at the station in any of these scenes."
That's all for now. See ya next time Scooopers!
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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