This is one of those times when Oakdale residents should look a gift horse in the mouth. Many of Oakdale's finest are running around sporting new gifts and acting, well, I'll just say it, crazy. Yep, Chris stripped down in the on-call room after donning his new watch, Emily proposed to Casey while wearing her new fragrance, Ali tried to kill herself after sporting her new bracelet, and Meg is seeing dead people while wearing that nifty necklace. And they all seem to have such short tempers lately that it makes Brad Snyder look like the poster boy for calmness.

It seems someone is out to get revenge on a number of Oakdale folks. My money is on psychopath Dr. Rick Decker, considering the list of victims. But, one can never truly rule out James Stenbeck when these kinds of situations occur. (Hey, he could show up in a clown costume at any moment.) I'm hoping Oakdale's crack police force actually solves this mystery. Let's face it; they could use a win.

If this twisted prankster gets away with much more, the whole town could be a quarreling/fighting hamlet. Wait...that's right. It already is. Do you suppose that Lily, Carly, Holden, Brad, Janet, Jack and Katie got presents, too? Nah, I just think everyone is dealing with their own drama, and they are a spirited bunch. Although, Brad is certainly acting neurotic lately. (Hiring a bodyguard to prevent your teenage daughter from having sex is a bit crazy/) If Decker is behind this plot, then Dr. Bob, Barbara and Susan, watch your backs!

Meanwhile:
--It's too bad Sofie's ghost isn't real, instead of part of Meg's hallucinations. Frankly, I would love to see her haunting Paul and driving him mad for burying her body in his garden like a dead animal and planting a rose bush on top of her. Just imagine roses suddenly popping up everywhere Paul went. I'm telling you, it would be some fun karma. Plus, anything that makes Paul squirm makes me happy. And ghost Sofie is really creepy!

--I can't believe that the ATWT show runners went through with Liberty and Parker having sex. He's 15! What an original storyline, showing teens that AREN'T in a fairy tale summer-long romance doing the deed and the subsequent awkwardness. I can't say enough about how outstanding this tale is. I don't advocate teen sex, but I'm not naïve enough to think it isn't happening with kids that age. I hope that teens are learning a lesson from this, and adults, too. Note to Jack, Janet and Brad: Do NOT discuss your children's sex life in the middle of a busy police station in front of the kids. That alone is going to send Parker and Liberty to therapy for feeling so ashamed, if they don't die of embarrassment first.

--Someone stick a fork in Lily and Holden. They're done. Maybe it's the recast. Maybe it's the fact that I'm just SICK of these two fighting. But, I don't see even a glimmer of hope in this relationship. There seems to be no passion between them anymore. All they're doing is hurting their kids. After the year Faith had, I would think they would be more sensitive. I'm not usually a proponent of divorce, but these two seem to be so far apart lately, that it seems like the only option.

--Spoiler alert: If you don't want to know about some upcoming casting changes, STOP reading now. OK, you have been warned. ....Supposedly, Dusty Donovan (Grayson McCouch) and James Stenbeck (Anthony Herrera) are headed back to Oakdale. I know that Dusty is supposed to be dead. But remember Scoopers, if Paul Ryan can "die" repeatedly and come back to life, then surely Dusty is entitled to a little fake death of his own. In exchange for old favorites returning, newbie Mike Kasnoff (Jon Prescott) is out. Sorry Mike lovers.

--I can't believe Henry proposed to Vienna. I've never been 100 percent sure that Henry loves her. He did stand her up at the altar once already. But, it seems the thought of losing her pushed him to pony up the bling. Don't hate me, but I'm glad Vienna turned him down and left town to find herself. Frankly, I feel like the Vienna who first hit town has been gone for too long. I miss the bratty pampered princess. Docile, hash-slinging Vienna may be nicer, but she's also boring. I hope Vienna returns as the girl I remember and not this watered-down sweet version. It seems the writers just don't know what to do with her or Henry, and hopefully if Vienna gets a new attitude, then perhaps she and Henry will get a new storyline worthy of them.

--I'm sure fathers out there who have caught their teen daughters having sex can identify with Brad's rage. But, hello, attacking Parker physically was a little over the top. It's probably realistic though, but poor Parker. He must be scared to death to have giant Brad dangling him from his grasp like a rag doll. If Brad's crazed attack doesn't scare Parker away from having sex again, then nothing will.

--Kudos to Katie for acting like one of the few reasonable responsible adults in Liberty's life lately. Who knew that Katie would be a great parental figure?

--If Ali can barely pull a C minus in nursing school, then perhaps she should reconsider her career choice. I would think having a mother who is a doctor would have given her some kind of advantage but apparently not. And gee, if Meg Snyder can earn a nursing degree, then I would think there is hope for Ali.

--I'm pretty sure I didn't hear this wrong. Janet called Jack her boyfriend. So, what happened to just the casual fling she was talking so much about? That disappeared about as quickly as Jack's resolve not to have sex with Janet.

--I'm not sure what purpose Aaron has of late, other than to be a shoulder for Ali. He rarely interacts with his family.

--The poor Snyder kids are NEVER going to want to go to camp again, after this mess with Carly and Holden goes public. What an emotional blow to have your wonderful memories of summer camp spoiled by the sexcapades of your parents.

--It's nice to know that Katie will still come through for Henry when he's in a crisis. He's bailed her out repeatedly through the years, so it's her turn. Henry's latest scheme to borrow money and trick Vienna was ridiculous, but Katie still came through for him. Bravo, Katie.

--Parker has had a messed up childhood, but that doesn't excuse him for calling his mother a slut. OK, maybe she is, but still, he shouldn't be saying it. That was harsh. If he's all about name-calling, then why not give Jack a little for his romp with Janet? Fair is fair, Parker.

--I think Carly may have the best hair in daytime. Long or short, straight or wavy, it's just gorgeous every day, just like the rest of her. It's no wonder every man in town can't resist her.

--What is it with Lily and airing her dirty laundry in public? Did she learn nothing from the school-dance catastrophe where she was a screaming lunatic? How about some discretion, lady, when you're in public! Your mother surely paid for etiquette lessons years ago, but apparently they didn't work. Lily should have known better than to be screaming about Holden and Carly in a place where the kids could hear.

--More stunning than Henry's proposal to Vienna this week, was Emily's proposal to Casey. I so didn't see that coming or the quickie marriage. Sure, she's under the influence of some weird chemical, but still. Being called a cougar really upset Emily to the point of making her propose, especially when Margo threw in the jab about Casey dumping her for a "fresh-faced" college girl. Good one, Margo. But I think Em won this match. I hope Margo is near the hospital when she finds out the news because I'm pretty sure someone will have to sedate her.

--Janet, here's a commandment to add to your list. No one, I repeat NO ONE, messes with Miss Emma's kitchen and lives to tell about it. I almost expected Emma to take that colander to Janet's head.

--Finally, thanks to all of you who sent such sweet e-mails to me regarding my hospital stay and our new baby boy. To answer your questions, the name Parker Donovan was not entirely from the show. My husband's middle name is "Donovan" and I didn't even realize the Dusty Donovan connection until a few of you e-mailed me asking. Chalk it up to pure coincidence! My Parker is doing well, but we're still not getting much sleep, only about 90-minute-spurts at night. So, I hope you won't hold it against me if my column isn't up to its usual standard. I'm hoping my little preemie's belly grows soon, so he can eat more and so I can get some more sleep soon. Also, to all of you first-time readers who e-mailed me last week, "Welcome!"

Best Lines of the Week:
(Brad hauls Parker down to the police station to see his father, after walking in on Parker and Liberty making out.)
Brad: "I came home and found your boy on top of my daughter, and I don't think we need GPS to know where it was going."

(Brad finds out that Parker and Liberty had sex and asks Jack why he didn't tell him.)
Jack: "We were handling it, Brad."
Brad: "You aren't handling anything, man. He's still breathing."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Janice.)
First, I like the new Lilly; she has a backbone and is not whiny. A bit too much woman for Holden, so hopefully there is a more interesting pairing for her down the road, even if it is Lily embracing her freedom. Holden and Carly: the latter just doesn't care about anyone but herself. Sad, when she has opportunity to prove herself a better woman and mother. Holden's hypocrisy has forever annoyed me. I'm not surprised at his behavior. Janet and Liberty are great additions to storyline. I agree, the realism to the teen sex issue was excellent!

(From Two Scoops reader M.)
I loved your comment about weekend at Bernie's, that actually might been kind of fun. I agree completely about Carly and Holden, I love them together... Maybe they could put Lily with Mike, he's not being used much.

(From Two Scoops reader Sundi.)
Hi, I just found this website today and as a longtime fan of ATWT I have to say you do an amazing job! I especially liked the quote of the week and thought it was pretty funny myself. I too hope everyone will give Holden some grief too! Keep up the great work, I'll keep reading.

(From Two Scoops reader Diane.)
Someone needs to tell wardrobe to get Holden a new cowboy hat. It looks ridiculous. He doesn't begin to have the look of a person who deals with horses when he has that hat on. He looks like a wannabe; lets try to get more authentic.

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller