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The week of May 31, 2004
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Theresa is supposed to live the Cinderella story; the common girl who gets her prince despite the evil aristocrat's schemes. Instead, Theresa is made to look psychotic, and Gwen is made to look innocent.

This week, I thought I'd offer what I think Passions needs to change in order to make it more watchable.

Absurd Fantasies. These "past lives" Antonio, Luis, and Sheridan all shared are ludicrous. The only point of these fantasies seems to be the writer's desires to rip off wildly popular movies Titanic, Cleopatra, and now Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp IS Captain Jack Sparrow and NO ONE, especially Galen Gering is going to come close to replicating that. Focus more on the story at hand now, and wrapping it up, rather than revisiting "past lives"

Decide already who the bad guys are and who the good guys are. I understand that a triangle with no "real" bad guy is compelling story, but a triangle with two bad guys fighting over one good guy is not. For instance, Theresa and Ethan are the couple we are supposed to root for. Gwen sent the truth about Ethan's paternity to the tabloid, then got her happily ever after with him. That is supposed to happen so we can root for Theresa and Ethan to get back together. Theresa raping Ethan and stealing Gwen's embryos does nothing to add to the story. There is no clear cut person as to who Ethan should be with. Theresa is supposed to live the Cinderella story. The common girl who gets her prince despite the evil aristocrat's schemes. Instead, Theresa is made to look psychotic and Gwen is made to look innocent. You can't change the rules mid way through the game.

Make the BIG reveals worth it. Five years. We waited and debated for five years to see what was hidden in that shed. Surely, after all that time it had to be something HUGE. I read on message boards theories ranging from porn to the cryogenized body of T.C.'s father. But instead, after five long years, we learn it's a car. It was more of a shock to learn that T.C. was a drug addict than the contents of the shed. On the flip side of this coin, Alistair being Charlie was a real shocker. Honestly, who saw that coming? Best of all, it made perfect sense. Alistair has proven time and again that he will go to any lengths to keep Sheridan and Luis apart. Even dressing in drag to help Beth keep them apart. And the best part, the reveal came totally out of left field.

Give Tabitha more to do. Ever since Timmy died, Tabby has been left playing sidekick to Kay. For five years we have seen Kay pull every trick out of her hat to keep Charity and Miguel apart. Now Tabby needs to keep Charity and Miguel apart as well, but surely she needs more to do than watch that bowl all the time. Let her out of the house and mingle with the townsfolk. Or better yet, reveal who Endora's father is.

Get rid of the characters that are not contributing to the story. Jessica, Hank, and Simone are perfect examples. Noah is an integral part of the Bennett clan, yet he has never been seen. Make these characters the same. The money saved on these actors could pay for some acting lessons for members of the cast that could use them. And Liz needs to go. She has spent the last two years walking around dropping hints no one is getting and making threats she has no intention of keeping. Her role on this show is pointless.

Either put Julian and Eve together, or split them up. The same goes for Sheridan and Luis. The reason Ethan and Theresa aren't in this category is because there are viable reasons why they are better apart - namely Gwen. What is exactly keeping Sheridan and Luis or Julian and Eve apart? Antonio and T.C. Both of them could leave the show today and neither of them would be missed. We are supposed to believe nothing stands in the way of true love, but yet these dim-witted men are.

Are Chad and Whitney related? If so, gross. If not, then get rid of Chad. The only good thing Chad has brought to this show is Puff Dog and Latoya and now they are gone. Such a pity. Two terrific actors cut for this piece of cardboard that can't act his way out of a paper bag. I'd rather watch grass grow than a scene with Chad in it.

Martin and Katherine. This explosive secret has the potential to turn this show around. The whole Lo-Fitz clan will be turned on its ear, and poor Pilar who has been waiting and grieving for her "lost" husband for years will finally have a story to sink her teeth into. Meanwhile the Crane siblings will have to deal with the return of their dead mother and we may finally find out who the dead man Sheridan found under the sheet is.

On the flip side of that coin, what is up with Alistair? He is supposed to be all knowing and all powerful, but yet a simpleton like Luis finds his deepest, darkest secrets on disks and then almost exposes him. Had Pilar not picked that exact moment to faint, Alistair would be in jail right now. (Why didn't Luis get all the info off the disks beforehand?) A man who bought judges and politicians done in by an idiot who won't listen that his sister in law doesn't love him. And his wife ran off with the gardener and he didn't even know she was dead. Is Big Al losing his touch, or is this just incompetence on the part of the writers? I think it's the latter.

Highest point of the week: Rebecca's confession was excellent storytelling. No Theresa all week.

Lowest point of the week: Eve is starting to grate on my very last nerve.

Until next week friends,

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